"Why do so many effeminate gay men prefer in their partners the very masculinity they've bleached out of themselves? The obvious answer is that they're attracted to their opposites. But that answer only goes so far. Effeminate men may lust for their masculine counterparts but most masculine men don't return the favor.
"Effeminate men get hoisted on their own chiffon petards. The more they take on effeminate characteristics the less able they are to attract the kinds of guys they want to sleep with. This is a mating absurdity. Imagine birds trying to attract mates with red and white plumage when the objects of their affection are attracted to yellow and green. The mis-matched mating call of the merry marys brings up a great question: If effeminacy is counter-productive to attracting the kind of sexual partners you want, then why not butch it up? Is it because like being gay, being effeminate isn't a choice?
"Nobody knows what fuels the gay flame -- nature or nurture. Some believe gay guys turn sissy because they're naturally nelly and some think it's because they're conforming to a culture that expects it. I've always maintained that effeminacy is like obesity. Sometimes it's glandular, but mostly it's cultural. There's an undeniable Pansy Vortex in gay life. You fall into it with baggy jeans and a t-shirt and climb out of it with spandex up the crack of your ass." - Mike Alvear, writing for the Huffington Post.
Read the entire essay.
RELATED: A lot of you took issue with Alvear's last essay quoted here.Joe