"I’ve observed girly ticks in straight men who were otherwise highly masculine. And I’ve met heterosexual men who were quite a bit more effeminate than many homos. Yet these effeminate heteros rarely have their manhood called into question, by sheer virtue of their heterosexuality. All of these men are routinely given the benefit of the doubt—their effeminate behaviors dismissed as mere quirks of character. Admit homosexuality, however, and every momentary lapse in machismo is regarded as a sure sign of a womanly nature.
While the objective reality seems to be that masculinity varies from male to male, almost regardless of sexuality, subjective realities based on public and private perceptions have dramatically influenced what it means to be an adult male who loves men. People assign meaning to sexual desire, including their own, and this meaning plays a role in shaping their personalities and dictates who and what they believe they can be."
- Jack Donovan