The way we deal with grief has a lot to do with whether or not the grief heals and strengthens us, or ends up depriving and starving us. We’ve learned a lot of things about grief over the years, like that strong “grin and bear it,” stiff upper lip response to grief which involves denial, and is not an optimum strategy for dealing with a mourning period.
My own reaction to people that are grieving is to really give them a lot of support in grieving, and letting the process run its course. That means not just the grief of the loss of the person, but the grief of the loss of any dream in life, of anything that you’ve invested that was lost. There is a reaction to a loss that is a grieving process, and if you don’t deal with the grieving in a way that is true to your being, it’s untrue. It’s just as untrue to grieve when you’re not feeling it, as to not grieve when you’re feeling it.