Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Via Outsports: Former Patriots and Chiefs tackle Ryan O’Callaghan comes out as gay


Ryan O’Callaghan’s plan was always to play football and then, when his career was over, kill himself.
Growing up in Redding, Calif., he didn’t see any other option. From a deep red corner of a blue state, the conflicted young man had decided in high school that he would never — could never — live as a gay man. While the 6-foot-7, 330-pound offensive tackle didn’t fit any of the gay stereotypes, he decided shortly after coming out to himself in junior high school that he could never let anyone else in on his darkest secret.

Over the years he had heard general comments from friends and family members about gay people. Every utterance of a gay slur or a joke about gay men — and he heard them plenty when he was young — was like a knife to the gut.

"If you’re a gay kid and you hear someone you love say ‘fag,’ it makes you think that in their eyes you’re just a fag too," O’Callaghan told Outsports on a recent visit to Los Angeles for his first-ever Pride celebration. "That got to me a lot."

Growing up in a conservative area light years away from nearby San Francisco, his own views of gay people had been shaped by those off-color comments and the rare image on television showing a gay man he couldn’t relate to. He knew that the people in his world would never accept him being gay, and he could never truly accept it either.

O’Callaghan decided early on that he would hide behind football. The sport would be his "beard," and the jersey on his back would throw off the scent and keep his secret hidden for over a dozen years on a journey that saw him playing college ball at the University of California and in the NFL with the New England Patriots and Kansas City Chiefs.

He spent his time in football preparing for his suicide, yet thanks to a small group of people within the Chiefs organization he ultimately found the will to live as the real Ryan O’Callaghan.

Via Sri Prem Baba – Awaken Love / Flower of the Day: 06/20/17

“Relationship is a great, if not the greatest, tool in self-knowledge. Any type of relationship has the power to expand loving consciousness. Yet at the same time, relationship can be a great danger because the greater the intimate bond, the greater the possibility for codependency. The more dependent you are on the other, the more you want to make them your slave.  The more dependent you are, the more you want to dominate and control in the relationship. You act this way because you believe that if the other were tied to the foot of your bed, you would be saved.”
Sri Prem Baba

Via Daily Dharma: The Ordinary is Sacred

No longer leaning toward one form of life (attachment) and away from another (aversion) allows psychic energy to flow from our imagination into reality and transforms our ordinary existence into the sacred.

—Rodney Smith, “From Thought to Stillness