Saturday, September 28, 2013

Via Gay Marriage Watch: The Importance of Holding Hands

The Importance of Holding Hands

Written by scott on September 28th, 2013 Gay Wedding - Hands

My husband Mark and I were coming out of a movie theater in Folsom, California, yesterday (yes, that Folsom – prison and all), when he excitedly pointed to something and said “Look, look!”

I followed the direction of his outstretched finger and saw a group of people, a car, the building across the street – nothing particularly noteworthy.

Then he said “No, there,” and pointed again, and I saw it.

A young gay couple, walking across the street, holding hands.

Now, Folsom is no right-wing backwater, but neither is it a progressive mecca like San Francisco (or even nearby Sacramento). Its a solidly working-class community, a bedroom city, known for its famous prison, its Intel offices, and its shopping for locals in other cities close by.

Mark called out to the couple, and they stopped, obviously perplexed about being addressed by this stranger. We faced each other, two couples separated by something like 30 years, and Mark told them how amazing it was to see them engaged in the simple act of holding hands on a public street.

They were a little surprised – they couldn’t have been more than 20 years old, and I guess that, to them, nothing was more natural than holding the hand of the one you love.

And that’s the point. We live in a rapidly changing world. Sometimes I forget how fast its changing.

The next generation has no problem holding hands in public because, well, why should they? They are equal to everyone else, and they know it. At least here in California.

The whole thing made me realize how far I haven’t come. For all that Mark and I have embraced the marriage equality movement, a part of me is still stuck back in 1986, when I was a senior in high school, and petrified to think that anyone might find out.

In fact, my first thought when I saw this couple holding hands was the danger they might be placing themselves in by being so public.

My second thought was how sad it is that I grew up in such a different time, and that I still carry vestiges of my internal homophobia with me, twenty two years after I stepped out of the closet.

I wonder what it would be like to grow up gay now, in this place, in this time. To be sure of myself as a gay man in a way I never was at that age, and in some ways am still not today.

I wonder what it would have been like to have had a “real” wedding – one planned with time and care, instead of the one that was forced upon us by the onslaught of Prop 8 and the impending public vote on our fitness to be married.

And, if truth be told, I am a little envious of that young gay couple in Folsom, walking down the street hand in hand as if… as if it were the most natural thing in the world. And I was intensely proud of them.

We left the two of them there, probably shaking their heads at the strange attitudes of this older gay couple.

And I took Mark’s hand in mine as we walked back to the car.

Make the jump here to read the full article

Via JMG: Quote Of The Day - Guido Barilla


"Yesterday I apologized for offending many people around the world. Today I am repeating that apology. Through my entire life I have always respected every person I've met, including gays and their families, without any distinction. I've never discriminated against anyone. I have heard the countless reactions around the world to my words, which have depressed and saddened me. It is clear that I have a lot to learn about the lively debate concerning the evolution of the family. In the coming weeks, I pledge to meet representatives of the group that best represent the evolution of the family, including those who have been offended by my words." - Guido Barilla, in a video message posted yesterday to the company's Facebook page.


Reposted from Joe

Via The New Civil Rights Movement: United Nations LGBT Meeting Issues ‘In Your Face Russia’ Declaration


The members of the United Nations’ LGBT Core Group held a ministerial level meeting yesterday – the highest level UN meeting ever held concerning LGBT issues  - to discuss violence and discrimination against the LGBT community throughout the world.
According to the Human Rights Campaign blog, Navi Pillay, the UN High Commissioner for Human Rights, reminded Ministers at the meeting that in some places, conditions for LGBT people are deteriorating, not improving.
 “They say that same-sex relationships and transgender identities go against their culture, religious beliefs or traditional values. My answer is that human rights are universal,” Pillay said.
“Our campaign on behalf of marginalized communities will meet resistance, even opposition. We must not be discouraged. We must stay engaged. Let us keep voicing our concerns, let us keep finding new allies, sharing good practice and standing fast alongside local human rights defenders on the front lines of this struggle.”
High level members from Argentina, Brazil, Croatia, The European Union, France, Israel, Japan, The Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, and the U.S. who gathered behind closed doors, issued this joint declaration, guaranteed to displease Russia:

End Violence and Discrimination Based on Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity.
United Nations, New York, 26 September 2013

1. We, ministers of Argentina, Brazil, Croatia, France, Israel, Japan, The Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway and United States, and the High Representative of the European Union for Foreign Affairs and Security Policy – members of the LGBT Core Group at the United Nations – hereby declare our strong and determined commitment to eliminating violence and discrimination against individuals based on their sexual orientation and gender identity.

2.In so doing, we reaffirm our conviction that human rights are the birthright of every human being. Those who are lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) must enjoy the same human rights as everyone else.

3.We welcome the many positive steps taken in recent decades to protect LGBT individuals from human rights violations and abuses. Since 1990, some 40 countries have abolished discriminatory criminal sanctions used to punish individuals for consensual, adult same-sex conduct. In many countries, hate crime laws and other measures have been introduced to combat homophobic violence, and anti-discrimination laws have been strengthened to provide effective legal protection against discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity in the workplace and other spheres, both public and private.

4. We also recognize that countering discrimination involves challenging popular prejudices, and we welcome efforts by Governments, national human rights institutions and civil society to counter homophobic and transphobic attitudes in society at large, including through concerted public education campaigns.

5. We assert our support for, and pay tribute to, LGBT human rights defenders and others advocating for the human rights of LGBT persons. Their work, often carried out at considerable personal risk, plays a critical role in documenting human rights violations, providing support to victims, and sensitizing Governments and public opinion.

6. We commend the adoption by the United Nations Human Rights Council of resolution 17/19 on human rights, sexual orientation and gender identity, and we welcome the efforts of the Secretary-General and the High Commissioner for Human Rights to raise global awareness of human rights challenges facing LGBT individuals, and to mobilize support for measures to counter violence and discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity.

7. Nevertheless, we remain gravely concerned that LGBT persons in all regions of the world continue to be victims of serious and widespread human rights violations and abuses.

8. A landmark 2011 study by the High Commissioner for Human Rights, which drew on almost two decades worth of work by United Nations human rights mechanisms, found a deeply disturbing pattern of violence and discriminatory laws and practices affecting individuals on the basis of their sexual orientation and gender identity.

9. It is a tragedy that, in this second decade of the 21st century, consensual, adult, same-sex relations remain criminalized in far too many countries – exposing millions of people to the risk of arrest and imprisonment and, in some countries, the death penalty. These laws are inconsistent with States’ human rights obligations and commitments, including with respect to privacy and freedom from discrimination. In addition, they may lead to violations of the prohibitions against arbitrary arrest or detention and torture, and in some cases the right to life.

10. In all parts of the world – including in our own – LGBT individuals are subjected to intimidation, physical assault, and sexual violence, and even murder. Discriminatory treatment is also widely reported, inhibiting the enjoyment of a range of human rights – including the rights to freedom of expression, association and peaceful assembly, and work, education and enjoyment of the highest attainable standard of health.

11. We are fully committed to tackling these violations and abuses – both at the domestic level, including through continued attention to the impact of current policies, and at the global level, including through concerted action at the United Nations.

12. We recognize the importance of continued dialogue between and within countries concerning how best to protect the human rights of LGBT persons, taking into account regional initiatives. In this context, we welcome the outcome of a series of recent regional consultations on the topic of human rights, sexual orientation and gender identity that took place in March and April 2013, and encourage the holding of further such meetings at regional and national levels.

13. Key to protecting the human rights of LGBT individuals is the full and effective implementation of applicable international human rights law. Existing international human rights treaties provide legally binding guarantees of human rights for all – LGBT people included. But for these guarantees to have meaning they must be respected by Governments, with whom legal responsibility for the protection of human rights lies.

14. Cognizant of the urgent need to take action, we therefore call on all United Nations Member States to repeal discriminatory laws, improve responses to hate-motivated violence, and ensure adequate and appropriate legal protection from discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity.

15. We strongly encourage the Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights to continue its efforts to increase understanding of the human rights challenges facing LGBT people, advocate for legal and policy measures to meet these challenges, and assist the United Nations human rights mechanisms in this regard.

16. We agree with the United Nations Secretary-General’s assessment that combating violence and discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity constitutes “one of the great, neglected human rights challenges of our time”. We hereby commit ourselves to working together with other States and civil society to make the world safer, freer and fairer for LGBT people everywhere.

Make the jump here to read the full article
 

Via Tricycle Daily Dharma:

Tricycle Daily Dharma September 28, 2013

We Don't Start with a Clean Slate

When we first sit down to meditate—and later when we return to the cushion—we can immediately recognize that we are not starting with a clean slate. Whatever the previous day, week, month, year, decade have brought—it is immediately clear that our minds are already in motion, already have movement and momentum in a particular direction before we sit down. Our experience when we sit down to meditate—whether we’ve been sitting for 30 minutes or 30 years—will often reflect our previous physical and mental 'training.'
- Gaylon Ferguson, "Fruitless Labor"
Read the entire article in the Wisdom Collection through September 29, 2013
For full access at any time, become a Tricycle Community Supporting or Sustaining Member

Read Article

Friday, September 27, 2013

The Flag of Equal Marriage


White House White Board: What ObamaCare Means For You


Via JMG: Athlete Ally Slams IOC


"When given the choice to stand up and affirm Principle 6 of the Olympic charter, the IOC simply backed down. And so we now head into uncharted territory in Sochi, a place where LGBT people - and others trying to support them - will be subject to persecution because of these heinous laws passed after Sochi was named the host city. Ultimately, enduring this travesty may be the great legacy of the 2014 Games because the complete disconnect between the gay propaganda laws and the Olympic charter is galvanizing people to join together. And together, we can change a sports culture, which is apparently not only rife with homophobia, but in need of a serious priority check. Standing up for equality is always the right thing to do." - Hudson Taylor, founder of Athlete Ally, via press release.


Reposted from Joe

Via JMG: ExxonMobil To Offer Same-Sex Benefits


ExxonMobil, long one of the largest corporate holdouts on LGBT equality, today announced that it will extend spousal benefits to gay employees.
The company says it will recognize "all legal marriages" when it determines eligibility for health care plans for the company's 77,000 employees and retirees in the U.S. That means if a gay employee has been married in a state or country where gay marriage is legal, his or her spouse will be eligible for benefits with Exxon in the U.S. as of Oct. 1. Exxon, which is facing a same-sex discrimination complaint in Illinois, said it was following the lead of the U.S. government. In June, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act, which had allowed states to refuse to recognize same-sex marriages granted in other states. In recent months, federal agencies have begun to offer benefits to legally-married same sex couples. "We haven't changed our eligibility criteria. It has always been to follow the federal definition and it will continue to follow the federal definition," said Exxon spokesman Alan Jeffers in an interview.
Freedom To Work reacts via press release:
"Today is a victory for the freedom to work. After years of stubbornly refusing, we commend Exxon for joining the majority of the Fortune 500 business leaders that already treat gay and lesbian married couples equally under employee benefit plans," said Tico Almeida, founder and president of the LGBT organization Freedom to Work. "It's a shame Exxon waited until after the Labor Department issued official guidance explaining that their old policy does not comply with American law, and now it's time to move forward."
"We'd like to begin settlement talks next week in our Illinois lawsuit stemming from evidence that Exxon gave hiring preference to a less qualified straight applicant over a more qualified lesbian applicant," added Almeida. "It's time for Exxon to stop wasting its shareholders' money by running up legal bills on discrimination proceedings that can be settled right away if the corporation would simply add LGBT protections to Exxon's official equal employment opportunity document."
The Human Rights Campaign notes that the company still does not include LGBT employees in its official non-discrimination policies.
Granting health benefits to all married couples is a step toward equality but it is certainly not the kind of leadership exhibited by ExxonMobil’s competitors,” said Deena Fidas, director of the HRC Workplace Equality Program. “There is no federal law protecting employees from discrimination against sexual orientation or gender identity and ExxonMobil refuses to join the majority of their Fortune 500 colleagues in adopting their own such policies. One has to wonder, what good are benefits for your same-sex spouse if you risk being fired for disclosing your sexual orientation in order to access them?”

Reposted from Joe

Queer Picks from the 2013 Toronto International Film Festival


SÍGUEME: A short film by Alejandro Durán


Rock Haven (2007)


Vintage Male Lovers.wmv


Notes From the Universe: When the God You Favor Doesn't Favor You

2013-09-24-iStock_000000186955Medium.jpg

Every letter I wrote in Dear Universe has a story behind it. Some of those stories are funny. Some of those stories are heartbreaking. And some of those stories enrage me. So much that every time I open the book to read them, I remember the pain and hurt that lead to their creation...

"Dear Universe, Today I ask that you help me to remember: God does not favor people..."
This is the beginning of a letter that angers me every time I read it. A young black gay man inspired it. No, wait, that's not true -- a lot of young black gay men inspired it. It was written in response to the things I have heard loving and supporting black gay men throughout my life.

One of the events that inspired this letter happened on a Sunday afternoon at Piedmont Park in Atlanta. In case you don't know, Sundays at Piedmont are a time when many black gay men gather, cruise and flirt. It is also a place where I have had many life-changing conversations on spirituality and love. It was in one of those conversations that a young black gay man, who I only knew in passing, once shared this:
"I have had a lot of stuff happen to me in my life. And I know other folks have too. But I watch folks around me get things. Get better. Have people, family... and even when I try it never works for me. Never. My pastor says that you know when you are in God's favor... and I just... I've just come to understand that God does not favor me. That's the only explanation I can find for why things always seem to be so hard, why my family isn't here for me, why things are always taken away."

When I tell this story, people assume my first response to his story was sadness. But it was not. And thankfully, my mind did not move toward pity either.

No, in that moment, I was furious. I wanted to storm into every church that had dared to teach a person "God had special people" or "favored certain folks" and rip the fans from the ceilings and throw them through the slimy stained glass windows.

Why the rage, you ask? I mean, surely as a black gay person, who at that time lived in the South, I must have been accustomed to this kind of doctrine, right? Well, not exactly. First off, I didn't grow up going to church. And while I did grow up in the South, where Christianity was omnipresent, the experience of being invested in church culture -- or having church culture invested in you -- is not one that I know. So there are many things that black gay men who grew up in the church believe, or have experienced, that seem foreign to me... and in many ways, unfathomable.

Make the jump here to red the full article at HuffingtonPost

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Via JMG: Bjorn Borg Launches Russian Retail Site With Rainbow Newspaper Ad In Moscow


Retired tennis superstar Bjorn Borg launched a Russian website for his line of apparel today with a full-page Moscow Times ad that displays men's underwear arranged rainbow-style. Via press release:
“We are opening up for ecommerce on the Russian market. The opening advert is a way for us to reach Russian influencers. Björn Borg as a brand has always advocated equality on all levels. It is a human right to love and to make love to whoever you choose and we want to make a point of that through the advert in the Moscow Times today”, comments Lina Söderqvist, Marketing Director at Björn Borg.
(Tipped by JMG reader Paulo)
 
Reposted from Joe

Jon Stewart Rips Ted Cruz Over Obamacare Filibuster - 9/25/2013


Via JMG: NEW MEXICO: GOP Lawmakers Join Hate Group In Brief Against Gay Marriage


With the support of the anti-gay hate group Alliance Defending Freedom, two dozen current and former GOP members of the New Mexico legislature have filed a brief against the same-sex marriage case pending before the state Supreme Court.
The Republican lawmakers, represented by a conservative Christian law group called the Alliance Defending Freedom, said anti-discrimination and equal protection guarantees in the state constitution do not provide a legal right to marriage for same-sex couples. The lawmakers said that "the judiciary should exercise caution when asked to divine fundamental and important constitutional rights not expressly provided in the Constitution's text." The gay marriage issue has moved to the political front burner in New Mexico since August when Dona Ana County Clerk Lynn Ellins decided independently to allow marriage licenses for same-sex couples. At least seven other county clerks have followed, some because of rulings in lawsuits brought by same-sex couples.
The ACLU filed a supportive brief on Monday. The case will be heard late next month.


Reposted from Joe

Via JMG: Barilla Doesn't Want Gay Customers


 
The Italy-based Barilla pasta company has made it clear that they don't want gay customers.
Guido Barilla, whose firm has almost half the Italian pasta market and a quarter of that in the US, told Italy’s La Zanzara radio show last night: “I would never do an advert with a homosexual family…if the gays don’t like it they can go an eat another brand. “For us the concept of the sacred family remains one of the fundamental values of the company.” He added: “Everyone has the right to do what they want without disturbing those around them”. But then the pasta magnate upped the ante by attacking gay adoption. “I have no respect for adoption by gay families because this concerns a person who is not able to choose," he said.
Barilla has already retreated from his remarks, saying that he only wanted to "underline the central role of the woman in the family." Needless to say, the boycott calls have already begun. (Image via Towleroad)


Reposted from Joe

Via Tricycle Daily Dharma:

Tricycle Daily Dharma September 26, 2013

Gateway to Compassion

The gateway to compassion and loving kindness is to be able to feel our own pain, and the pain of others. If we are able to open in this way, our hearts can melt, and the healing salve of compassion can anoint all our wounds.
- Lama Palden, "Gateway to Compassion"
Read the entire article in the Wisdom Collection through September 27, 2013
For full access at any time, become a Tricycle Community Supporting or Sustaining Member 

Read Article

Via David CochranThe Rainbow Rose Society / FB: