A personal blog by a graying (mostly Anglo with light African-American roots) gay left leaning liberal progressive married college-educated Buddhist Baha'i BBC/NPR-listening Professor Emeritus now following the Dharma in Minas Gerais, Brasil.
We see people through the veil of the fear-driven paranoia that comes from getting trapped in one’s separateness; and when we break out of that, we experience compassion that is not pity and not kindness; but compassion borne of identifying with the people around you.
The search for happiness is not about looking at life through rose-colored glasses or blinding oneself to the pain and imperfections of the world. Nor is happiness a state of exaltation to be perpetuated at all costs; it is the purging of mental toxins such as hatred and obsession that literally poison the mind.
Forever a Student Sarah Ruhl in conversation with James Shaheen
In this episode of Tricycle Talks, Tricycle’s editor-in-chief, James Shaheen sits down with playwright Sarah Ruhl to discuss the teachers and tasks that have helped her learn how to listen, what it means to look at grief sideways, whether devotion is teachable, and why she aspires to always be a student.
Malicious speech is unhealthy. Refraining from malicious speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning malicious speech, one refrains from malicious speech. One does not repeat there what one has heard here to the detriment of these, or repeat here what one has heard there to the detriment of those. One unites those who are divided, is a promoter of friendships, and speaks words that promote concord. (DN 1) One practices thus: “Others may speak maliciously, but I shall abstain from malicious speech.” (MN 8)
Disputes occur when a person is deceitful and fraudulent. Such a person dwells disrespectful and undeferential towards others, causing harm and unhappiness for many. If you see any such root of a dispute either in yourself or externally, you should strive to abandon it. And if you do not see any such root of dispute either in yourself or externally, you should practice in such a way that it does not erupt in the future. (MN 104)
Reflection
Arguments and disputes do not come from external circumstances, but from the internal qualities of people’s minds. When there is a competing interest, for example, it might be negotiated peacefully and fairly, or it might escalate into a hateful argument and even become violent. The difference lies in what kind of internal mental and emotional states are brought to the table by both participants. We can influence how this unfolds.
Daily Practice
Take special care to refrain from being deceitful or fraudulent in all of your dealings with other people. And when other people are exhibiting these qualities, try hard not to be provoked into doing the same. These practices in daily life require a regular habit of being tuned in to the workings of your own mind and being sensitive to the extent your own experience is impacted by the mental and emotional qualities of others.
Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Verbal Action One week from today: Refraining from Harsh Speech
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