A personal blog by a graying (mostly Anglo with light African-American roots) gay left leaning liberal progressive married college-educated Buddhist Baha'i BBC/NPR-listening Professor Emeritus now following the Dharma in Minas Gerais, Brasil.
“My understanding of the way in which a child grows is that you create the garden in which the flower grows, you don’t grow the flower. You can’t grow it, you can merely fertilize the earth and keep it soft and moist.”
Regardless of how far we think we’ve strayed or how many times we’ve fallen on the ground, in each and every moment we have the opportunity to use that same ground to stand.
Vanessa Zuisei Goddard, “The Five Opponent Powers”
Malicious speech is unhealthy. Refraining from malicious speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning malicious speech, one refrains from malicious speech. One does not repeat there what one has heard here to the detriment of these, or repeat here what he has heard there to the detriment of those. One unites those who are divided, is a promoter of friendships, and speaks words that promote concord. (DN 1) One practices thus: “Others may speak maliciously, but I shall abstain from malicious speech." (MN 8)
When others address you, their speech may be with a mind of lovingkindness or with inner hate … One is to train thus: “My mind will be unaffected, and I shall utter no bad words; I shall abide compassionate for their welfare, with a mind of lovingkindness, without inner hate.” (MN 21)
Reflection
Words are one thing, and the emotion or intention behind them is another. What matters more than the content of what is said is how it is said, the quality of mind behind the words. You can say, “I hope you have a nice day” with benevolent good will, or you can say the exact same thing with a voice that is dripping with sarcasm and venom. We all know the difference when on the receiving end of such speech.
Daily Practice
It is an advanced practice to receive malicious speech—words uttered with some degree of hatred—and not return the same emotion. It is an even more challenging practice to respond with kindness, yet it can be done. Practice this today, all day. Even if someone addresses you maliciously, make a point of not letting it evoke malice from you. See if everything you say today can be said with the underlying emotion of kindness.
Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Verbal Action One week from today: Refraining from Harsh Speech
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