A personal blog by a graying (mostly Anglo with light African-American roots) gay left leaning liberal progressive married college-educated Buddhist Baha'i BBC/NPR-listening Professor Emeritus now following the Dharma in Minas Gerais, Brasil.
Harsh speech is unhealthy. Refraining from harsh speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning harsh speech, one refrains from harsh speech. One speaks words that are gentle, pleasing to the ear, and affectionate, words that go to the heart, are courteous, and are agreeable to many. (DN 1) One practices thus: “Others may speak harshly, but I shall abstain from harsh speech.” (MN 8)
When one says, “All those disengaged from the pursuit of self-mortification have entered upon the right way,” one thus extols some. But when one says instead, “The disengagement from the pursuit of self-mortification is a state without suffering, and it is the right way,” then one is not extolling anyone but simply stating the truth. (MN 139)
Reflection
The principle we reviewed earlier about criticizing the negative actions of people rather than criticizing them as people also applies in the positive direction. It is better to extol, to praise, positive words and deeds than to extol the person. While the negative comments lead to protective defensive behaviors, the positive comments could result in an increase of pride and conceit.
Daily Practice
Praising someone for being a great person boosts their sense of self, and while this may be a good thing in the case of the developing egos of youngsters, it is not something encouraged for Buddhist practitioners. By all means extol the value and benefit of benevolent words and deeds, for example, but practice the habit of not feeding people’s view of self, lest you contribute to their self-aggrandizement. Help people be humble.
Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Mental Action One week from today: Refraining from Frivolous Speech
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"These thoughts of fear are thoughts of the ego and will not help you on the spiritual path, they weigh you down. When you journey to the place of the witness, you see that these thoughts are not helping and then you embrace them with love, because the witness is in the soul and the soul is loving awareness."
