A personal blog by a graying (mostly Anglo with light African-American roots) gay left leaning liberal progressive married college-educated Buddhist Baha'i BBC/NPR-listening Professor Emeritus now following the Dharma in Minas Gerais, Brasil.
"It is the balance of the head and the heart. With your head, you are awed by the exquisiteness of the laws of the universe. With your heart, you are bleeding from the horror of the suffering that you are seeing. You end up doing what you can to relieve the suffering and at the same moment never forgetting the perfection. Meaning, never getting caught in the drama of polarities – of good and evil, of suffering and happiness, of dark and light – and yet you play in that field perfectly."
Frivolous speech is unhealthy. Refraining from frivolous speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning frivolous speech, one refrains from frivolous speech. One speaks at the right time, speaks only what is fact, and speaks about what is good. One speaks what is worthy of being overheard, words that are reasonable, moderate, and beneficial. (DN 1) One practices thus: “Others may speak frivolously, but I shall abstain from frivolous speech.” (MN 8)
When a person commits an offense of some kind, one should not hurry to reprove them but rather should consider whether or not to speak. If you will be troubled, the other person will be hurt, and you cannot help them emerge from what is unhealthy and establish themselves in what is healthy—one should not underrate equanimity toward such a person. (MN 103)
Reflection
Many times in the world of human interaction we encounter minor offenses of some kind that usually provoke an immediate and unexamined reaction. When we feel hurt or annoyed or angry, we often lash back automatically. This is what we are focusing on here. By becoming aware of our speech and only speaking when it is useful and appropriate, we bypass a lot of unconscious conditioning that can cause harm.
Daily Practice
Sometimes you run into a difficult person. There are situations in which it is not going to be effective to speak up. See if you can identify these situations when you run across them and remain silent instead of venting your emotions. Many times it is better to maintain equanimity than to get drawn into an argument or even a fight. Practice not allowing yourself to be provoked into unnecessary speech.
Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Social Action One week from today: Refraining from False Speech
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