Wednesday, December 6, 2023

Via Dhamma Wheel | Right Speech: Refraining from Malicious Speech

 

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RIGHT SPEECH
Refraining from Malicious Speech
Malicious speech is unhealthy. Refraining from malicious speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning malicious speech, one refrains from malicious speech. One does not repeat there what one has heard here to the detriment of these, or repeat here what he has heard there to the detriment of those. One unites those who are divided, is a promoter of friendships, and speaks words that promote concord. (DN 1) One practices thus: "Others may speak maliciously, but I shall abstain from malicious speech." (MN 8) 

When others address you, their speech may be timely or untimely. . . . One is to train thus: "My mind will be unaffected, and I shall utter no bad words. I shall abide with compassion for their welfare, with a mind of lovingkindness, without inner hate." (MN 21)
Reflection
The second category of right speech is refraining from malicious speech, which has a lot to do with setting people against one another and causing divisions. Such speech involves harmful intentions and is therefore unhealthy. Notice the final phrase of the text, wherein one undertakes to personally refrain from such speech even though others may do it. The practice here is to change your own behavior, not that of others.
Daily Practice
Pay attention to the speech you hear around you and see if you can identify malicious speech when you hear it. Then listen for when you yourself engage in such speech, often inadvertently. Finally, undertake a commitment to refrain from malicious speech. This is particularly challenging when you are interrupted by untimely speech, but such episodes provide an opportunity to practice not being thrown off by the impropriety of others. 
Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Verbal Action
One week from today: Refraining from Harsh Speech

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a Daily Dharma: Continual Mindfulness

 

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Continual Mindfulness

Staying awake means continually reevaluating the ground on which we walk.

Stephen Schettini, “A Sense of Belonging”


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Via Buddhist Geeks // Brodhisattva Training

 


Video

Mahayana, Masculinity, & Maturity

This teaching, from Vince Fakhoury Horn, discusses the focus of the Brodhisattvas training, and the overlapping terrain of Mahayana, masculinity, and maturity.

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IMMERSIVE TRAININGS

The Evolving Practice of BuddhaDharma

Open for Registration, Starting January 2024

What do the teachings of Buddhism have to offer our contemporary moment?  With so many connected challenges, spanning both our personal and collective lives, how can a thousands year old tradition be used, not just as a spiritual pacifier, but as a genuine source of personal & collective transformation?

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Tuesday, December 5, 2023

Via White Crane Institute // Today's Gay Wisdom: Kate Pollit

 

Today's Gay Wisdom
Katha Pollit
2018 -

TODAY'S GAY WISDOM

Adam and Steve--Together at Last

Kate Pollit

Will someone please explain to me how permitting Gays and Lesbians to marry threatens the institution of marriage? Now that the Massachusetts Supreme Court has declared Gay marriage a Constitutional right, opponents really have to get their arguments in line. The most popular theory, advanced by David Blankenhorn, Jean Bethke Elshtain and other social conservatives is that under the tulle and orange blossom, marriage is all about procreation. There's some truth to this as a practical matter — couples often live together and tie the knot only when baby's on the way. But whether or not marriage is the best framework for child-rearing, having children isn't a marital requirement. As many have pointed out, the law permits marriage to the infertile, the elderly, the impotent and those with no wish to procreate; it allows married couples to use birth control, to get sterilized, to be celibate. There's something creepily authoritarian and insulting about reducing marriage to procreation, as if intimacy mattered less than biological fitness. It's not a view that anyone outside a right-wing think tank, a Catholic marriage tribunal or an ultra-Orthodox rabbi's court is likely to find persuasive. 

So scratch procreation. How about: Marriage is the way women domesticate men. This theory, a favorite of right-wing writer George Gilder, has some statistical support — married men are much less likely than singles to kill people, crash the car, take drugs, commit suicide — although it overlooks such husbandly failings as domestic violence, child abuse, infidelity and abandonment. If a man rapes his wife instead of his date, it probably won't show up on a police blotter, but has civilization moved forward? Of course, this view of marriage as a barbarian-adoption program doesn't explain why women should undertake it — as is obvious from the state of the world, they haven't been too successful at it, anyway. (Maybe men should civilize men — bring on the Fab Five!) Nor does it explain why marriage should be restricted to heterosexual couples. The Gay men and Lesbians who want to marry don't impinge on the male-improvement project one way or the other. Surely not even Gilder believes that a heterosexual pothead with plans for murder and suicide would be reformed by marrying a Lesbian? 

What about the argument from history? According to this, marriage has been around forever and has stood the test of time. Actually, though, marriage as we understand it — voluntary, monogamous, legally egalitarian, based on love, involving adults only — is a pretty recent phenomenon. For much of human history, polygyny was the rule--read your Old Testament — and in much of Africa and the Muslim world, it still is. Arranged marriages, forced marriages, child marriages, marriages predicated on the subjugation of women — Gay marriage is like a fairy tale romance compared with most chapters of the history of wedlock. 

The trouble with these and other arguments against Gay marriage is that they overlook how loose, flexible, individualized and easily dissolved the bonds of marriage already are. Virtually any man and woman can marry, no matter how ill assorted or little acquainted. An 80-year-old can marry an 18-year-old; a john can marry a prostitute; two terminally ill patients can marry each other from their hospital beds. You can get married by proxy, like medieval royalty, and not see each other in the flesh for years. Whatever may have been the case in the past, what undergirds marriage in most people's minds today is not some socio-biological theory about reproduction or male socialization. Nor is it the enormous bundle of privileges society awards to married people. It's love, commitment, stability. Speaking just for myself, I don't like marriage. I prefer the old-fashioned ideal of monogamous free love, not that it worked out particularly well in my case. As a social mechanism, moreover, marriage seems to me a deeply unfair way of distributing social goods like health insurance and retirement checks, things everyone needs. Why should one's marital status determine how much you pay the doctor, or whether you eat cat food in old age, or whether a child gets a government check if a parent dies? It's outrageous that, for example, a working wife who pays Social Security all her life gets no more back from the system than if she had married a male worker earning the same amount and stayed home. Still, as long as marriage is here, how can it be right to deny it to those who want it? In fact, you would think that, given how many heterosexuals are happy to live in sin, social conservatives would welcome maritally minded Gays with open arms. Gays already have the baby — they can adopt in many states, and Lesbians can give birth in all of them — so why deprive them of the marital bathwater?

At bottom, the objections to Gay marriage are based on religious prejudice: The marriage of man and woman is "sacred" and opening it to same-sexers violates its sacral nature. That is why so many people can live with civil unions but draw the line at marriage--spiritual union. In fact, polls show a striking correlation of religiosity, especially evangelical Protestantism, with opposition to Gay marriage and with belief in homosexuality as a choice, the famous "Gay lifestyle." For these people Gay marriage is wrong because it lets Gays and Lesbians avoid turning themselves into the straights God wants them to be. As a matter of law, however, marriage is not about Adam and Eve versus Adam and Steve. It's not about what God blesses, it's about what the government permits. People may think "marriage" is a word wholly owned by religion, but actually it's wholly owned by the state. No matter how big your church wedding, you still have to get a marriage license from City Hall. And just as divorced people can marry even if the Catholic Church considers it bigamy, and Muslim and Mormon men can only marry one woman even if their holy books tell them they can wed all the girls in Apartment 3G, two men or two women should be able to marry, even if religions oppose it and it makes some heterosexuals, raised in those religions, uncomfortable.

Gay marriage —  it's not about sex, it's about separation of church and state.


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Gay Wisdom for Daily Living from White Crane Institute

"With the increasing commodification of gay news, views, and culture by powerful corporate interests, having a strong independent voice in our community is all the more important. White Crane is one of the last brave standouts in this bland new world... a triumph over the looming mediocrity of the mainstream Gay world." - Mark Thompson

Exploring Gay Wisdom & Culture since 1989!
www.whitecraneinstitute.org

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Via Tricycle \\ A Koan for These Times


A Koan for These Times
By Susan Murphy
Zen koans can help us grow skilled in embracing uncertainty in the face of climate change. Rather than turning away, koans encourage us to grow curious instead.
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Via Daily Dharma: Make Practice Your Own

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Make Practice Your Own 

Enlightenment and mastery are great goals, but not required to reap the benefits of Buddhism. The main thing is to have a practice, and to keep it alive, personally relevant, and engaged. Make it your own, and bring it with you everywhere.

Erik Hansen, “Bartelby the Buddhist”


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Via Dhamma Wheel | Right Intention: Cultivating Compassion

 

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RIGHT INTENTION
Cultivating Compassion
Whatever you intend, whatever you plan, and whatever you have a tendency toward, that will become the basis on which your mind is established. (SN 12.40) Develop meditation on compassion, for when you develop meditation on compassion, any cruelty will be abandoned. (MN 62) 

Suppose there were a pond with lovely smooth banks, filled with pure water that was clear and cool. A person scorched and exhausted by hot weather, weary, parched, and thirsty, would come upon the pond and quench their thirst and their hot-weather fever. In just the same way, a person encounters the teachings of the Buddha and develops compassion, and thereby gains internal peace. (MN 40)
Reflection
When lovingkindness encounters the suffering of another, it transforms into compassion. Compassion is defined as "the trembling of the heart in the presence of suffering," along with the urge to alleviate the suffering of other living beings. Actions that are motivated by compassion are always healthy, regardless of their outcome, and banish from the mind any impulse toward cruelty in that moment.
Daily Practice
The same metaphor is used to describe compassion as was used last week for lovingkindness: the cool, clear water of a forest pond encountered on a hot day by a person parched and thirsty. This conveys the sense that compassion is a naturally healthy mental state, providing a precious refuge from harsher emotions. See if you can experience the internal peace that comes from caring for the well-being of others.
Tomorrow: Refraining from Malicious Speech
One week from today: Cultivating Appreciative Joy

Share your thoughts and join the conversation on social media
#DhammaWheel

Questions?
 Visit the Dhamma Wheel orientation page.
Tricycle is a nonprofit and relies on your support to keep its wheels turning.
© 2023 Tricycle Foundation
89 5th Ave, New York, NY 10003

Monday, December 4, 2023

Via FB


 

Via Tricycle \\ Papañca

What’s in a Word: Papañca
By Andrew Olendzki
The word papañca refers to the mind “spreading out,” or proliferating, much as weeds might take over a garden or spilled water might spread out to cover a table. 
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Via Daily Dharma: Joyous Living

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Joyous Living 

The joy of waking up to who and where you are—and loving it—is an ecstatic experience of freedom.

Dale S. Wright, “Why Should I Appreciate Life?”


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