RIGHT LIVING
Undertaking the Commitment to Abstain from Misbehaving Among Sensual Pleasures
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Sensual misconduct is
unhealthy. Refraining from sensual misconduct is healthy. (MN 9)
Abandoning sensual misconduct, one abstains from misbehaving among
sensual pleasures. (MN 41) One practices thus: "Others may engage in
sensual misconduct, but I will abstain from sensual misconduct." (MN 8)
Relationships are of two kinds: to be cultivated and not to be
cultivated. Such relationships as cause, in one who cultivates them,
unhealthy states to increase and healthy states to diminish, such
relationships are not to be cultivated. But such relationships as cause,
in one who cultivates them, unhealthy states to diminish and healthy
states to increase, such relationships are to be cultivated. (MN 114)
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As with so many
other aspects of our lives, the relationships we foster and the company
we keep can be considered healthy or unhealthy, based on whether or not
they help us see more clearly and whether they bring about more or less
suffering. Since we influence one another so significantly, it is
important for our own well-being to nurture healthy relationships and
steer away from those that are unhealthy.
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See for
yourself whether any particular relationship in your life is
predominantly healthy or unhealthy. Do this not by some sort of
conceptual analysis but by noticing whether states of yearning,
resentment, and confusion increase or decrease when you are engaged with
this person. Also note whether states of sharing, caring, and
understanding increase or decrease. This is the actual measure of health
or unhealth in relationships.
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Tomorrow: Developing Unarisen Healthy States
One week from today: Abstaining from Intoxication
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