Via Dhamma Wheel | Right Speech: Refraining from Harsh Speech

 

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RIGHT SPEECH Refraining from Harsh Speech Harsh speech is unhealthy. Refraining from harsh speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning harsh speech, one refrains from harsh speech. One speaks words that are gentle, pleasing to the ear, and affectionate, words that go to the heart, are courteous, and are agreeable to many. (DN 1) One practices thus: “Others may speak harshly, but I shall abstain from harsh speech.” (MN 8) How does there come to be non-insistence on local language and non-overriding of normal usage? In different localities they call the same thing by different words. So whatever they call it in such and such a locality, without adhering to that word one speaks accordingly, thinking: “These people, it seems, are speaking with reference to this.” (MN 139)

Reflection One way of speaking harshly is to dominate how words are used and understood. Too often we listen to others barely enough to project our own meaning onto their words and wait impatiently for the opportunity to jump back in and speak again. Right speech is a two-way street and involves learning from others at least as much as conveying our own perspectives to them. Refraining from speaking without listening is healthy. Daily Practice Practice listening when you are talking with people. Actively attend to what they say and try to understand in their own terms what they mean. Assume you don’t automatically understand them and practice inquiring into their words and phrases and attending to their non-verbal clues with an open mind. It may be that people are saying things from which you can learn something new. Right speech includes right listening. Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Mental Action One week from today: Refraining from Frivolous Speech Share your thoughts and join the conversation on social media #DhammaWheel Questions? Visit the Dhamma Wheel orientation page.

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