A personal blog by a graying (mostly Anglo with light African-American roots) gay left leaning liberal progressive married college-educated Buddhist Baha'i BBC/NPR-listening Professor Emeritus now following the Dharma in Minas Gerais, Brasil.
The only person we can lead to liberation is ourselves. Everybody has to go alone. Anybody who would like to come along is welcome. The bandwagon is big, and yet there aren’t enough people on it.
Frivolous speech is unhealthy. Refraining from frivolous speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning frivolous speech, one refrains from frivolous speech. One speaks at the right time, speaks only what is fact, and speaks about what is good. One speaks what is worthy of being overheard, words that are reasonable, moderate, and beneficial. (DN 1) One practices thus: “Others may speak frivolously, but I shall abstain from frivolous speech.” (MN 8)
An authentic person is one who, even when asked, does not reveal the faults of others—and still less does not do so when not asked. When asked, however, and obliged to reply to questions, one speaks of other’s faults hesitatingly and not in detail. (AN 4.73)
Reflection
Refraining from focusing on the faults of others is not meant to hide the truth but is a way to practice non-harming and non-violence in your communications. Refrain from unnecessary speech that is driven by ill will, jealousy, or resentment. This only brings out and reinforces your own unhealthy tendencies, and it often causes harm. By abstaining from avoidable critical pronouncements, you develop better speech habits.
Daily Practice
Take a break from criticizing people today. Notice when the impulse to do so comes up and choose instead to refrain from saying what is on your mind. See what it feels like to be able to monitor your speech, understand when it is unhelpful, and hold back from letting it loose. If you do this often, you will be retraining your habits of speech and will gradually develop new, healthier patterns of communication.
Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Social Action One week from today: Refraining from False Speech
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It is when you discover that the rational mind isn’t going to be enough, when you see that the assumptions you’ve been working with are not valid, that there is the possibility of change. Albert Einstein said, “A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move toward higher levels.” And again, “Man must be able to develop a higher form of thought if he is ever going to be able to use his energy with wisdom.”
