A personal blog by a graying (mostly Anglo with light African-American roots) gay left leaning liberal progressive married college-educated Buddhist Baha'i BBC/NPR-listening Professor Emeritus now following the Dharma in Minas Gerais, Brasil.
Malicious speech is
unhealthy. Refraining from malicious speech is healthy. (MN 9)
Abandoning malicious speech, one refrains from malicious speech. One
does not repeat there what one has heard here to the detriment of these,
or repeat here what he has heard there to the detriment of those. One
unites those who are divided, is a promoter of friendships, and speaks
words that promote concord. (DN 1) One practices thus: "Others may speak
maliciously, but I shall abstain from malicious speech." (MN 8)
When others address you, their speech may be connected with good or with
harm … One is to train thus: "My mind will be unaffected, and I shall
utter no bad words; I shall abide compassionate for their welfare, with a
mind of lovingkindness, without inner hate." (MN 21)
Reflection
Malice is the
desire to do harm, and when we look closely and honestly we may notice
that much of what we say is laced with this intention. One text calls a
dispute “stabbing one other with verbal daggers.” Here we are being
encouraged to receive the wound without striking back. It is ultimately
an expression of freedom from compulsion when you are able to say,
“Others may speak maliciously, but I choose not to.”
Daily Practice
Not being
provoked to malice by the malice of others is a difficult but important
practice. Try to do this in small ways and gradually build up to more
difficult situations. If someone slights you in some small way, practice
noticing this, understanding it as an aggressive verbal act and then
deliberately choosing to not be provoked by it into some form of
retaliation. Do this again and again, and you will gradually get the
hang of it.
Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Verbal Action One week from today: Refraining from Harsh Speech
Share your thoughts and join the conversation on social media #DhammaWheel
The
next time you find yourself in a state of embarrassment, take a moment
to ask yourself, 'How can this embarrassment be good news? How can it
teach me something essential and good for my relationships?'
Koshin Paley Ellison, “On Meeting a Giant at Absolute Bagels”
Religious study...while there is the opening for healthy skepticism,
there is another way which is to open Pandora’s box and let it all in.
Figure that whatever is supposed to be useful to you, you will hold, and
whatever else will fall away.
You don’t have to keep it all away at arms length for fear you will lose
your virginity or something. You don’t have to protect your purity
against the Holy books.
You just open up and let it come in, no matter how weird it all seems.