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Via Dhamma Wheel | Right Speech: Refraining from Malicious Speech

RIGHT SPEECH
Refraining from Malicious Speech

Malicious speech is unhealthy. Refraining from malicious speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning malicious speech, one refrains from malicious speech. One does not repeat there what one has heard here to the detriment of these, or repeat here what he has heard there to the detriment of those. One unites those who are divided, is a promoter of friendships, and speaks words that promote concord. (DN 1) One practices thus: “Others may speak maliciously, but I shall abstain from malicious speech.” (MN 8) If anyone should speak in disparagement of something, you should not be angry, resentful, or upset on that account. If you were to be angry or displeased that would only be an impediment to you, and then you could not recognize whether what they say is rightly said or not rightly said. If others should speak in disparagement of something, then you are to explain what is incorrect as being incorrect. (DN 1)

Reflection

Speech is a two-way street, and the practice of right speech includes the ability to listen well in addition to speaking well. When you are the recipient of malicious speech—words that are intended to attack and wound and induce anger in you—it is a practice in itself to resist the temptation to take offense and lash out with your own malicious speech. Equanimity is the tool to use here, allowing you to not take things personally.

Daily Practice

Practice listening to the words of others, especially those that are critical of you or that disagree with opinions you hold dear, without taking them personally. Notice when the reflex of self-defense rears up; notice how it inclines you to resist what is being said and even to want to attack the person saying it—and then use the power of equanimity to regard the content objectively, without being automatically triggered into aversion.

Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Verbal Action
One week from today: Refraining from Harsh Speech

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