When gay marriage finally becomes widespread, how quickly (if at all) will we act to correct each other when we identify someone's significant other?It took almost seven years, but this very thing happened to me last night as I was rather archly informed that the couple I'd referred to as "husbands" were not married. They've just lived together for 22 years.
"There goes David and his husband."
"Oh, they aren't married, just living together."
Will we do that? Will we give those who choose not to marry a verbal downgrade to "just living together", to "just boyfriends"? Gay people have traditionally operated fast and loose with the rules of defining and naming our relationships.
Will there be a sense of relief then, as we convert to straight society's hierarchy of relationships and start identifying couples as: dating, living together, or married? I think that the implied legitimacy of a legal marriage will tempt many of our people to begin resorting relationships into those separate categories. And I don't know how I feel about that.
Whether pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral, gross or subtle, every sensation shares the same characteristic: it arises and passes away, arises and passes away. It is this arising and passing that we have to experience through practice, not just accept as truth because Buddha said so, not just accept because intellectually it seems logical enough to us. We must experience sensation’s nature, understand its flux, and learn not to react to it. |
