A personal blog by a graying (mostly Anglo with light African-American roots) gay left leaning liberal progressive married college-educated Buddhist Baha'i BBC/NPR-listening Professor Emeritus now following the Dharma in Minas Gerais, Brasil.
Zen does not promise that we will live longer. It offers something far more profound . . . that we might live fully, and die fully, without clinging, without regret, and with an open, awakened heart.
Reverend Bondō Kōjitsu Williams, “The Edge of Impermanence”
Malicious speech is unhealthy. Refraining from malicious speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning malicious speech, one refrains from malicious speech. One does not repeat there what one has heard here to the detriment of these, or repeat here what he has heard there to the detriment of those. One unites those who are divided, is a promoter of friendships, and speaks words that promote concord. (DN 1) One practices thus: “Others may speak maliciously, but I shall abstain from malicious speech.” (MN 8)
Reflection
There is so much malicious speech in the world these days, speech that is intended to divide and promote discord. It is valuable to recognize what it is, to be aware of it when it occurs, and to undertake a commitment to refrain from speaking maliciously yourself. Let’s not contribute to the problem but instead work actively in the other direction, not only refraining from wrong speech but also promoting right speech.
Daily Practice
Even though others may speak maliciously, make it an ongoing practice to be a person who does not speak with malice. When the tendency comes up to return like for like in your speech, catch that with mindfulness and decide on a different course of action. Commit to being someone who speaks to unite those who are divided and utters only words that foster concord. Practice being a promoter of friendships with all you say.
Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Verbal Action One week from today: Refraining from Harsh Speech
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"It is important, as we get older, to learn how to grieve. Although this may sound self-evident, experience has taught me that it is not. In a culture that emphasizes stoicism and forward movement, in which time is deemed 'of the essence,' and there is little toleration for slowness, inwardness, and melancholy, grieving – a healthy, necessary aspect of life – is too often overlooked.
Over the years, in working with people who are grieving, I’ve encouraged them first of all to surrender to the experience of their pain. To counteract our natural tendency to turn away from pain, we open to it as fully as possible and allow our hearts to break.
We must take enough time to remember our losses – be they friends or loved ones passed away, the death of long-held hopes or dreams, the loss of homes, careers, or countries, or health we may never get back again. Rather than close ourselves to grief, it helps to realize that we only grieve for what we love. "
