A personal blog by a graying (mostly Anglo with light African-American roots) gay left leaning married college-educated Buddhist Baha'i BBC/NPR-listening Professor Emeritus now following the Dharma in Minas Gerais, Brasil.
Even though metta is one of the most widely practiced and researched meditation techniques in the world, I've noticed there is sometimes a tension between how people think metta works and how it actually works.
Many people think metta only works if you're awash in warm, gooey feelings every time you sit.
But that's not the case.
Warm, gooey feelings can (and do) happen, of course. But these are more a byproduct of the practice, rather than the practice of metta itself.
So what is the practice of metta?
Metta, at its core, is a wish for goodwill to arise. In other words, you could say that metta is Buddhist prayer.
So just by wishing for goodwill to arise, we are already doing the practice.
Even if your experience of doing metta is one of anger and frustration—that is ok. If you come back to the phrase with sincerity, you are doing metta.
And in some ways, it's when we find ourselves in these negative states where we begin to see the fruits of our metta practice actually shine.
It's easy to meet those we love and care for with metta. But it is much harder to meet our own shame and insecurities with that same sense of friendliness and goodwill.
This is actually one reason that social metta is a great way for people to get into the practice.
With social metta, we're able to co-regulate with others. So even if we're feeling down and having trouble practicing with sincerity, we can use the sincerity of others to fuel our practice.
I can't promise social metta (or any Multiplayer Meditation) will work for everyone. But because metta is inherently pro-social, I believe it is one of the best Multiplayer Meditations for people to start with.
I bring this up because today, Friday, September 18th at 1 PM ET, I'll be hosting the first session of a 10-week Social Metta training. This training is available to all Hardcore members of the Pragmatic Dharma App.
If you're interested in learning and practicing social metta in a live group format, you are invited to attend. No metta experience is required.
A Hardcore membership is $20 per month and comes with a 7-day test drive, so you can attend the first session free to see if it's right for you.
If you're not interested in a Hardcore membership, you are still invited to sign up for a free account and get access to a library of recordings and live Multiplayer Meditations—including a Social Metta Multiplayer Meditation I am hosting on Monday, September 21st.
If that sounds good, you can get all the details and sign up for the app below:
Being enveloped in and defined by what’s difficult is relatively easy to do, so it takes some intentionality to recognize all aspects of our experience and remember the positive forces in our lives.
