A personal blog by a graying (mostly Anglo with light African-American roots) gay left leaning liberal progressive married college-educated Buddhist Baha'i BBC/NPR-listening Professor Emeritus now following the Dharma in Minas Gerais, Brasil.
RIGHT LIVING Undertaking the Commitment to Abstain from Misbehaving Among Sensual Pleasures
Sensual misconduct is
unhealthy. Refraining from sensual misconduct is healthy. (MN 9)
Abandoning sensual misconduct, one abstains from misbehaving among
sensual pleasures. (MN 41) One practices thus: "Others may engage in
sensual misconduct, but I will abstain from sensual misconduct." (MN 8)
Relationships are of two kinds: to be cultivated and not to be
cultivated. Such relationships as cause, in one who cultivates them,
unhealthy states to increase and healthy states to diminish, such
relationships are not to be cultivated. But such relationships as cause,
in one who cultivates them, unhealthy states to diminish and healthy
states to increase, such relationships are to be cultivated. (MN 114)
Reflection
As with so many
other aspects of our lives, the relationships we foster and the company
we keep can be considered healthy or unhealthy, based on whether or not
they help us see more clearly and whether they bring about more or less
suffering. Since we influence one another so significantly, it is
important for our own well-being to nurture healthy relationships and
steer away from those that are unhealthy.
Daily Practice
See for
yourself whether any particular relationship in your life is
predominantly healthy or unhealthy. Do this not by some sort of
conceptual analysis but by noticing whether states of yearning,
resentment, and confusion increase or decrease when you are engaged with
this person. Also note whether states of sharing, caring, and
understanding increase or decrease. This is the actual measure of health
or unhealth in relationships.
Tomorrow: Developing Unarisen Healthy States One week from today: Abstaining from Intoxication
Share your thoughts and join the conversation on social media #DhammaWheel
Consoling
a sick friend, a Zen teacher untangles our separate self-existence
using a famous thought experiment of a hypothetical cat unobserved in a
black box.