A personal blog by a graying (mostly Anglo with light African-American roots) gay left leaning liberal progressive married college-educated Buddhist Baha'i BBC/NPR-listening Professor Emeritus now following the Dharma in Minas Gerais, Brasil.
Frivolous speech is unhealthy. Refraining from frivolous speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning frivolous speech, one refrains from frivolous speech. One speaks at the right time, speaks only what is fact, and speaks about what is good. One speaks what is worthy of being overheard, words that are reasonable, moderate, and beneficial. (DN 1) One practices thus: “Others may speak frivolously, but I shall abstain from frivolous speech.” (MN 8)
An authentic person is one who even unasked reveals what is praiseworthy in others—how much more so when asked. When asked, however, and obliged to reply to questions, one speaks of what is praiseworthy in others, fully and in detail. (AN 4.73)
Reflection
It is not necessary to point out people’s flaws on a regular basis. Sometimes things need to be called out, and right speech does not mean covering up what is difficult. But it does point to the inherent harmfulness of being unnecessarily critical, which can damage the speaker as well as the target of such speech. You should focus on saying what is beneficial, and much of the time critical speech is rooted in an aggressive mental stance.
Daily Practice
Get in the habit of saying good things about people. Practice random acts of praise, even when not asked to do so. And when you do have an opportunity, don’t hold back on pointing out what is praiseworthy in others. We know this is important when raising children, so why not extend it to everyone? It turns out this is a healthy thing to do, because it both benefits others and brings out healthy states in you.
Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Social Action One week from today: Refraining from False Speech
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