Via Daily Dharma: Take Refuge in Flexibility

 The Buddhist Way invites us to take refuge in openness and in accepting that to do this we must transcend all rigid identities.

—Fabrice Midal, “Brief Teachings”

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Contrastes

Last night after a shocking series of bizarre and mean emails from my mother,  I was in a funk and upset and sad all day. ((How a 65+ year old man can be nonplussed by a mother is stuff for future postings... But I digress)). Then some rotten stuff from work, all of which set me off in a seriously non-Buddhist way. Ugh... Tests and dhukka!

 

So… when I zoomed into a meeting with folks in Guatemala, I was, to be quite honest, somewhat reticent... The last encuentros with Bahá’ís for me didn’t end well… 

 

I was so surprised last night. 

 

I felt a sense of refuge and well  a bit of “saudades” for the first time in years.

The remembrance service for Bob Porter sponsored by the Bahá'ís de Guatemala was simple, sweet, and lovely. People saying hello for maybe 15 minutes before… and Marcy was a joy! At one point there were over 100 folks from maybe 5 countries!

 

It was the first Bahá’í gathering I went to in over 2 decades. And it felt nice, it felt like home, people were sweet, and it was good to see some old friends. It bought back some good memories and adventures. The Porter family was great, KC even played a song, Kristy and Curt & Sonia shared sweet memories. All of us that are not there in Guatemala expressed our sense of, what we say in Portuguese “Saudades”. 

 

Me, in the early 1980's sporting a badass moustache with Amatu'l-Bahá Rúhíyyih Khánum in Guatemala City

 

What was magic for me, it was the first time in years that I could go to my prayer book and read without a block, a sense of loss, rancor…

So during the service, I dug out my Bahá'í books and found the above picture, which made me smile. Doña Marcy had me drive Khánum around Guate in their teeny tiny suzuki pickup!  

 

To say I miss Bahá’í sangha, the kind like last night, when folks were just pure love and light goes without saying. When I came back to the States, it was rough, I missed community and probably the adrenaline from serving there, my relationship with my son’s mother was upside down, grad school, coming to terms with my sexuality, my son, my work… and I had no community to stand on, to support me. In fact, the Bahá’ís sort of cast me adrift until they eventually threw me out for activism and well love. It took me years to trust anything spiritual, indeed even the thoughts of God and community. To that I am eternally grateful to the Sacramento Buddhist Meditation Group, who pulled me out of my anger hole and set me right.

 

So em fim, I will always be a BaBu = Bahá’í Buddhist, or the Bahá'ís might say, "a friend of the Faith". And will continue to wait on the sidelines for the day they will come to their senses re: inclusion and homophobia. 

 

Visualize a guy, at the Metta bus bus stop, patiently checking his dharma watch, over and over, and over: 

Breathe in. May all the Bahá’ís be happy. Breathe out.

Breathe in. May all the Bahá’ís be healthy. Breathe out.

Breathe in. May all the Bahá’ís be safe. Breathe out.

Breathe in. May all the Bahá’ís be at ease in all the Worlds! 

 

¡Gracias  Don Roberto y Muchas Gracias Team Porter! y un grande gracias a los Guatemaltecos, - may your sweetness, energy and love keep shining!

 

Life is good!