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Via Daily Dharma: Authentic Selflessness

 Fulfilling the true commitment of a relationship is extraordinary, unrelenting selfless activity. It is one of the most authentic ways that humanity can experience self-transcendence. This is authentic selflessness, not the endorphin-intoxicated spiritual trance that some mistakenly think of as the transcendent experience.

Anam Thubten, “What We Can Learn from the Haunted Ground of Relationships”

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Via Dhamma Wheel | Right Speech: Refraining from Malicious Speech

 

RIGHT SPEECH
Refraining from Malicious Speech

Malicious speech is unhealthy. Refraining from malicious speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning malicious speech, one refrains from malicious speech. One does not repeat there what one has heard here to the detriment of these, or repeat here what he has heard there to the detriment of those. One unites those who are divided, is a promoter of friendships, and speaks words that promote concord. (DN 1) One practices thus: "Others may speak maliciously, but I shall abstain from malicious speech." (MN 8) When others address you, their speech may be connected with good or with harm … One is to train thus: "My mind will be unaffected, and I shall utter no bad words; I shall abide compassionate for their welfare, with a mind of lovingkindness, without inner hate." (MN 21)

Reflection

Malice is the desire to do harm, and when we look closely and honestly we may notice that much of what we say is laced with this intention. One text calls a dispute “stabbing one other with verbal daggers.” Here we are being encouraged to receive the wound without striking back. It is ultimately an expression of freedom from compulsion when you are able to say, “Others may speak maliciously, but I choose not to.”

Daily Practice

Not being provoked to malice by the malice of others is a difficult but important practice. Try to do this in small ways and gradually build up to more difficult situations. If someone slights you in some small way, practice noticing this, understanding it as an aggressive verbal act and then deliberately choosing to not be provoked by it into some form of retaliation. Do this again and again, and you will gradually get the hang of it.

Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Verbal Action
One week from today: Refraining from Harsh Speech

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A Franciscan blessing I just learned of that seems apt:

 

“May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.

 

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

 

May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and turn their pain to joy.

 

And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.

 

Amen.”