A personal blog by a graying (mostly Anglo with light African-American roots) gay left leaning liberal progressive married college-educated Buddhist Baha'i BBC/NPR-listening Professor Emeritus now following the Dharma in Minas Gerais, Brasil.
"...It seemed at that time that the ego was a very real, solid and necessary part of the healthy functioning of an organism. When I started to work with psychedelics, I started to experience something that didn’t fit into my theoretical structure of ego. I began to think maybe we need to go the other way now; that we are going to unwind the ego or get out from under it."
Much of the time we don’t even know our own motivations, so it can be very difficult to know the motivations of others. But we can be aware of the impact that their actions have within us.
Frivolous speech is unhealthy. Refraining from frivolous speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning frivolous speech, one refrains from frivolous speech. One speaks at the right time, speaks only what is fact, and speaks about what is good. One speaks what is worthy of being overheard, words that are reasonable, moderate, and beneficial. (DN 1) One practices thus: "Others may speak frivolously, but I shall abstain from frivolous speech." (MN 8)
When a person commits an offense of some kind, one should not hurry to reprove them but rather should consider whether or not to speak. If you will be troubled, the other person will be hurt, and you can help them emerge from what is unhealthy and establish them in what is healthy, then it is proper to speak. It is a trifle that you will be troubled and they will be hurt compared with the value of helping establish them in what is healthy. (MN 103)
Reflection
The teachings on right speech are encouraging us to take the matter of communication more seriously than we often do. Often a lot of chattering is not conveying anything important, and it has a tendency to be distracting, making us less attentive. Speaking carefully about what is true and good brings greater value to our speech and renders it more worthy of being overheard.
Daily Practice
The example offered in this passage suggests that we should not jump to reprimand someone when they have committed some small offense. Pausing to consider whether to speak up breaks the momentum of a quick, reflexive reaction. It may turn out to be appropriate to speak, but the key issue is whether it would be helpful to do so. Note that whether speaking up would be troublesome or might hurt the other person is a trifle in comparison to the benefit of “helping establish them in what is healthy.”
Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Social Action One week from today: Refraining from False Speech
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