Wednesday, August 19, 2020

Via White Crane Insitute // GUSTAVO SANTAOLALLA

 


Gustavo Santaolalla
1951 -

GUSTAVO SANTAOLALLA, born; Argentine film composer, born; composed the Academy-award winning soundtrack for Brokeback Mountain.

Argentine musician Gustavo Santaolalla began his musical career with the band Arco Iris. His love and commitment to music must have been strong: As he shares in this week's Alt.Latino, he was arrested and harassed by the authorities numerous times until, fed up, he finally left the country. Arco Iris has since become recognized as a pioneer in Latin rock.

Santaolalla's career only moved uphill from there. He went on to produce albums that became the canon of Latin rock, for artists such as Molotov, Maldita Vecindad, Café Tacvba, Calle 13 and Bersuit Vergarabat. His own work as an artist with groups like Bajofondo won him accolades, but he's best known in many circles for his soundtracks: The Motorcycle Diaries, and the Oscar-winning scores for Brokeback Mountain and BabelHis work has remained exceptional, yet incredibly varied, as he's incorporated influences from across Latin America, Africa and East Asia.

Via Daily Dharma: Achieving the Goals of Practice

 The goal should be reflected in the means, in the practice. If the goal is to be at peace, some form of peacefulness should be a part of the practice. To become compassionate, practice compassion. To be generous, practice generosity. To be free, don’t let the practice or attainments be objects of grasping.

—Interview with Gil Fronsdal by James Shaheen, “Living Two Traditions”

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Via Ram Dass - Love Serve Remember Foundation // Words of Wisdom - August 19, 2020 💌

 

Time is a box formed by thoughts of the past and future.

Dwelling in the moment is dwelling in the soul, which is eternal presence. When we're outside of time, there's no subject or object; it's all just here. The thinking mind deals only with subject and object. But from within here and now, you watch time go by. You are not being in time. You be, and time goes by, as if you were standing on a bridge and watching it all go by.
 
-Ram Dass -

Tuesday, August 18, 2020

Via QSpirit // Joseph and the queer Biblical princess coat


Joseph Sweet Publishing

 

Joseph, a popular figure in the Bible’s Book of Genesis, can be seen as a gender-nonconformist who inspires LGBTQ people today.

Queer Bible scholars focus on how Joseph wore a robe that is usually known in English as a “coat of many colors,” but could be translated as a “princess coat.” The story of Joseph and his princess coat (Genesis 37:1-4, 12-28) will be read at many churches worldwide on Sunday, Aug. 9, 2020.

Joseph’s father, Jacob, loved him more than any of this other children, so he had a special robe made for him. In Hebrew the robe is called “ketonet passim.” Its meaning is considered unclear by many traditional Bible scholars. Various translations use terms such as “a robe with long sleeves,” “an elaborately embroidered coat” or “a varicolored tunic.”

The only other use of the term is in II Samuel 13, where princess Tamar wears a “ketonet passim” and the author helpfully explains that this is “how the virgin daughters of the king were clothed in earlier times.”

Traditional Bible scholars found it confusing that Joseph would wear an article of female clothing, the meaning is clear enough to today’s queer people of faith.

From a queer perspective, it’s not surprising that when Joseph’s 11 brothers saw him in the princess coat, they got so upset that they attacked him and sold him into slavery. The Bible story goes on to tell how Joseph triumphed in the end, rising to become Egypt’s second most powerful man and rescuing his family from starvation during a famine.

Make the jump here to read the full story and more

Via Daily Dharma: Feeling Gratitude for What We Rely On

 We depend through the whole of life on the support of others—upon the natural world, upon other people, and, spiritually, upon the tradition of wisdom that has come down to us through human history. In the traditional Buddhist way, our dependency is not a cause for despair but rather leads to a sense of wonderment and gratitude.

—Dharmavidya David Brazier, “Living Buddhism”

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The Final Mountain–My New Book on Aging for Men

 

The Final Mountain–My New Book on Aging for Men

The Final Mountain: A Guide for Men

It’s been a while since I’ve posted a blog on this website—several months, in fact.  During that time I’ve been hard at work on my new book, whose working title is now The Final Mountain: Aging with Honor and Dignity: A Guide for Men. One mission of this book is to strengthen intuition and emotion in aging men, and help them redefine what it means to be a man in the last third of life.

This new book follows on my 2012 book Aging as a Spiritual Practice. That book was … Read More

Monday, August 17, 2020

Via Zenwords

 

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Via White Crane Institute // Today's Gay Wisdom


Nobel Laureate Toni Morrison
2019 -

The 2019 loss of Nobel Laureate author Toni Morrison reminded us of her comments on racism and fascism, a comparison even more relevant today.

In this address, given at Howard University during its 1995 Charter Day celebrations, Morrison spoke eloquently about the origins and social significance of Howard and other historically Black institutions of higher learning, about the education and mis-education of African Americans (and LGBT folk, we might add), and about the aberrant societal tensions wrought by racism, [sexism], and fascism.  

. . . Let us be reminded that before there is a final solution, there must be a first solution, a second one, even a third. The move toward a final solution is not a jump. It takes one step, then another, then another. Something, perhaps, like this:

(1) Construct an internal enemy, as both focus and diversion.

(2) Isolate and demonize that enemy by unleashing and protecting the utterance of overt and coded name-calling and verbal abuse. Employ ad hominem attacks as legitimate charges against that enemy.

(3) Enlist and create sources and distributors of information who are willing to reinforce the demonizing process because it is profitable, because it grants power and because it works.

(4) Palisade all art forms; monitor, discredit or expel those that challenge or destabilize processes of demonization and deification.

(5) Subvert and malign all representatives of and sympathizers with this constructed enemy.

(6) Solicit, from among the enemy, collaborators who agree with and can sanitize the dispossession process.

(7) Pathologize the enemy in scholarly and popular mediums; recycle, for example, scientific racism and the myths of racial superiority in order to naturalize the pathology.

(8) Criminalize the enemy. Then prepare, budget for and rationalize the building of holding arenas for the enemy--especially its males and absolutely its children.

(9) Reward mindlessness and apathy with monumentalized entertainments and with little pleasures, tiny seductions, a few minutes on television, a few lines in the press, a little pseudo-success, the illusion of power and influence, a little fun, a little style, a little consequence.

(10) Maintain, at all costs, silence.

[...] Racism may wear a new dress, buy a new pair of boots, but neither it nor its succubus twin fascism is new or can make anything new. …

Via Daily Dharma: The Importance of Mindset

 The basic attitude we bring to meditation is more important than how accurately we perform some method of practice.

—Ogyen Trinley Dorje, “Meditation Beyond the Method”

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Sunday, August 16, 2020

Via Ram Dass - Love Serve Remember Foundation // Words of Wisdom - August 16, 2020 💌

 

Which reality do you dwell in? If you stand anywhere, you’re missing part of the show. Don’t stand anywhere. I have no idea who you are or who I am. Then I am free. The minute I get trapped in a label, I have just imprisoned myself. No matter how well I furnish the prison, it’s still a prison.
 
- Ram Dass -

Via Daily Dharma: Gain Wisdom By Observing

 Wisdom is not merely something to be gained with old age. One can be wise in every stage of one’s life. To manifest wisdom means simply to step back and see.

—Seido Ray Ronci, “The Examined Life”

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Saudades Shasta

 

 

Saturday, August 15, 2020

Via Lion's Roar // When Sadness Rages Like Fire

 

Pema Khandro Rinpoche shares the life of the Tibetan yogi Shabkar, whose practice and teachings were inseparable from loss and grief. From the Fall 2020 issue of Buddhadharma.

“What the Mind Can Do,” by Antony Gormley, 1992. Earth and rabbit skin glue on paper. 

Sadness rages like a great fire, though in mind, there is no wood.
A storm of tears pours down ceaselessly, though in the sky of my eyes there are no clouds.[1] —Shabkar

Throughout his profound spiritual awakening, the great Tibetan yogi Shabkar experienced immense loss resulting in grief marked by raw pain, a sense of disorientation, sadness, and tears. Witnessing how a Buddhist master mourns can shed some light on how we can navigate our own grief and demystify any fantasies we might have about a peace that negates sadness.

Shabkar (1781–1851) lived in northeastern Tibet with his mother and sister. As he came of age, he yearned to go on a great spiritual journey. According to his autobiography, he believed he would be able to attain the great state of liberation that would relieve the suffering of all beings. But the journey he envisioned meant leaving home against the wishes of his mother, who begged him not to go. She told him, “You are like the very eyes in my head. If you go far away, your mother will be like a blind woman. You are like my very own heart. If you go, your mother will be like a corpse.”

Despite his mother’s pleas, Shabkar resolved to leave, promising to return soon and settle near home so that she would let him go. Not knowing that this conversation with his mother would be their last, his final words to her were a lie. Year after year he extended his travels despite his mother’s letters begging him to return. In the end, when he finally returned home, his mother had died and the home he had been raised in had fallen into ruins.

From the time of his great departure until his return, Shabkar’s life was one of great heroism and generosity. He gave away his wealth, clothing, and food to the hungry. He healed the sick, stopped the fighting between three tribes, and converted bandits and thieves. He ransomed the lives of thousands of animals who would have been slaughtered. He restored more than a hundred temples and ten thousand statues of the Buddha. He gave thousands of blessings, teachings, and empowerments. The list goes on.

Shabkar benefited countless people, and his life is still benefiting people today through his autobiography, which is a beautiful repository of Buddhist teachings on grief. Shabkar experienced great sadness and grief over the loss of his mother and was haunted by it until his death. He also experienced much sadness at the loss of his teacher, which revisited him often.

Shabkar did not hide his grief. In fact, his autobiography gives us a window into how he expressed it and also captures his direct advice for anyone burning with sorrow.

Go Ahead and Weep

In his autobiography, Shabkar recounts stopping at Mount Kailash to give advice to an assembly of people who followed him there. His speech was a long exposition about waking up from the denial of impermanence, a teaching typical of introductions to Vajrayana. But it also included something not so typical: a rare lesson on the importance of crying. Shabkar wrote:

To cry when parting from one’s guru, and when one’s father or mother dies, is a noble thing in this world. It is something you should wish for, not something despicable. Those who don’t cry need not feel uneasy about the many who do; those who are crying need not feel ashamed, since crying is quite just on this occasion. Anyone who feels like crying should just go ahead and weep—there is nothing wrong with it.

Shabkar’s suggestion that we should not hesitate to cry when the occasion calls for it, and also that we shouldn’t feel guilty if we can’t, is advice that would fit in well with modern psychology, which reminds us again and again that there is no one right way to grieve. Moreover, he cuts through the notion that Buddhist equanimity somehow means being stoic or unfeeling.

Indeed, Shabkar wept for three days when he left his teacher, and later wept more when his teacher died. He wept when he saw the tears of his own followers. He wept when his student died. When his mother died, his grief was infinite. Even when his tears had dried, it followed him throughout his life.

Transferring Compassion to Others

Shabkar processed his grief about his mother through his encounters with others who reminded him of her. This reflects the Buddhist practice of considering all beings to have been one’s mother at one time or another. It also reflects how Shabkar worked with his mind. The sorrow and loss he felt fostered a raw and openhearted compassion toward others.

On one occasion, he saw an old woman who could no longer walk lying in a hollow, with infections that oozed from her body. Seeing that she was starving, he begged for a month’s worth of food for her and prayed over her, saying, “There is not a single being who has not been my mother.” He wept upon seeing her helplessness, and when she saw his tears, she wept as well, telling him, “I had a dear son who died. Your coming here is like meeting him again; it’s as if he came back from death.” And they wept together for a long time. It is a poignant scene in which two people separated from their loved ones share a moment of grieving and love.

Grief opens us to much tenderness and love.

A life can be like this. Sometimes, we cannot give love to the one we wish to give it to. Maybe that person can’t receive it, or maybe they have passed away by the time we have the love to give. Other times we may try to give love and it falls on deaf ears. Sometimes it is not safe to love a person directly. But grief opens us to much tenderness and love, and we can give that love to someone else, even if it is only with our lost one’s memory in our heart. In doing so, we can also dedicate the merit of our altruism and compassion to the loved one we wish we could have given it to. There is satisfaction in this.

This transference of compassion happened again when Shabkar returned to his hometown after having been away a long time. Not only was his mother dead, but his childhood home had fallen into ruins. There in the wreckage he found a paralyzed homeless woman. It’s a scene that is common in India or Nepal today: people with disfigured bodies, living in alleyways and on corners, begging or sleeping. As Shabkar looked upon this woman with sorrow, the image of his mother arose in his mind. Her helplessness reminded him of his own mother’s pleas for his help and for his return, a wish Shabkar never granted. A deep sadness welled up from the depths of his being and he cried. When that woman saw his emotion, she cried too.

As they wept together, Shabkar sang a song of realization. In it, he mourned the loss of his home and his mother, and expressed sadness for his own helplessness and that of this woman. A song about realizing impermanence, it reveals how spiritual insight and grief go hand in hand. After the paralyzed woman died, Shabkar erected a stupa and temple at the site and it became a place of pilgrimage and prayer for years to come.

In Mahayana Buddhism, the bodhisattva has compassion for the suffering of all beings. The bodhisattva is a hero, with realization that has given rise to such great compassion and wisdom that it is the guiding principle of their life. In this scene, however, Shabkar is not portrayed as a bodhisattva hero, but as a grieving son. This is another face of compassion—compassion born not from esoteric realizations or the crisp, keen, logic of Buddhist philosophy, but rather from loss.

However many losses we go through, there remain many people who are suffering and need to be loved. Shabkar’s meetings with the two women are reminders that we can find healing for ourselves and others by continuing to love the ones we encounter.

Shabkar ends that song standing with this beggar woman, reciting a prayer that both he and his mother would be guides to relieve the suffering of beings in all future lives.

In Dreams

According to Buddhist philosophy, the denial of ceaseless change and impermanence drives our neurosis and suffering. Thus the key to becoming a buddha is recognizing impermanence as a mark of existence.

Sometimes impermanence is a radical rupture. Other times it is just another subtle, unnoticed change, the kind that we experience thousands of times each day. This series of changes, from day to day, season to season, one life to the next, all add up to the liminal experience of being that Buddhism so aptly describes. By liminal, I mean that it is in-between-ness, ever transitioning, beyond the reach of logic and control, beyond the bounds of the scripts of our culture and the straightjackets of our concepts. In Vajrayana Buddhism, one of the training grounds for integrating with this ever-changing world is in our dreams.

Tibetan Buddhism regards dreams as a rich and fertile place where spiritual training can continue—or where mental afflictions can be reinforced. Dreams are sometimes a source of revelations for advanced Buddhist masters. In Shabkar’s life, dreams were a domain of omens and meetings with teachers in which he received instruction and prophecy. It is also in dreams that Shabkar found assurance that his mother had journeyed toward blissful realms in the afterlife.

One night, toward the end of his life and the peak of his profoundly benevolent teaching career, Shabkar had a dream that he was in a paradise with a jeweled temple and three young maidens. One of them spoke to him and said, “Don’t you recognize me?” He realized it was his mother with her two old friends. He recalled a memory from his childhood watching these two ladies with his mother as they recited prayers to Tara. Now, they had been reborn in Tara’s pure land! He saw that his mother was happy. They spoke and she encouraged him to continue benefiting beings. Shabkar felt great joy. He remembered that his mother had accumulated much merit in her life and saw that it had delivered her to a blissful realm. In contrast to the image he had in his head of her desperately writing letters to him, he saw her now joyfully accompanied still by her close friends. And he saw her release him. She gave him the blessing he had so yearned for—the blessing to continue traveling and doing his work. In the dream, Shabkar was freed from decades of guilt and grief.

Dreams such as these may be regarded as either messages from beyond or messages from one’s own mind. The bereaved can’t make such dreams happen, but when they do come, we can cherish and welcome them.

Grief that Comes and Goes

Joy and sorrow are like travelers on the roadside,
suddenly come and suddenly gone. —Shabkar

It’s good to remember that grief was not Shabkar’s only experience. On the contrary, Shabkar lived a life of great joy and service, before, during, and after his grief. As he said in his song of realization, the sun of love and the moon of compassion arose again and again in him. His realization of impermanence did not leave him in despair; on the contrary, it was further training and insight confirming the teachings he had received. Although dreamlike and not to be reified, Shabkar saw reality as something to be enjoyed. He could dance with joy at the vivid, brilliant, immaculate clarity of awareness.

Grief is not necessarily the harbinger of a life of darkness that we sometimes fear it will be. For Shabkar, grief was part of his path to becoming true, openhearted, and free. And in the end, Shabkar’s grief was as impermanent as that which he grieved.

1]     This and subsequent quotations by Shabkar are from The Life of Shabkar: The autobiography of a Tibetan Yogin, translated by Matthieu Ricard (Snow Lion, 2001).

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Via Queerty Newsletter // Older gay gentlemen offer 15 life lessons to their younger gay counterparts

 

Men kissing
(Photo: Shutterstock)

Things are better for young queer or gay men coming to terms with their sexuality these days compared to the past, but that doesn’t mean they’re perfect. Advice from those that have struggled with the same things may help or give a different perspective.

“What I wish would have been available to me when I was 20, was the opportunity to speak with someone who had experienced what I was experiencing as I was coming out,” says Jeff Levy, a gay, Chicago-based psychotherapist.

“At the time, there were no role models in the media and I was coming out during the AIDS crisis. Although there are more role models for younger gay folks now, I’d encourage younger gay men to reach out to older gay men and to ask questions about their life experiences and relationships. I think intergenerational friendships and opportunities for mentoring could be incredibly valuable and enriching.”

We messaged some gay men over 50 and asked them about things they wished they’d known earlier about love, life, sex, and relationships. Some replied anonymously while others were happy to be named.

1. Don’t forget your friends

“When you are dating, don’t forget to maintain your close friendships. Friends often endure beyond romantic relationships. But they too require nurturing and maintenance.” (Dominic Davies, of UK-based Pink Therapy)

2. Own your sexuality

“Don’t be embarrassed to tell sex partners what you like doing in bed, or to ask for the sex you want. As gay men, we often taught to feel ashamed of our sexual desires, and that can leave many of us forever challenged when it comes to saying what we do and don’t enjoy.” (Anon.)

“Learn what turns you on and discuss that with your partner. Then explore more things to add to the list. Erotic pleasure is infinite, there is no need to be bored if you share your active imaginations!” (Dominic Davies)

3. Stay safe

“Have as much sex as you want with whoever you want and never feel guilty about it… but always be safe. There’s no sex so mind-blowing it’s worth risking your health for. And if someone tries to persuade you to be unsafe, that should be a reason to leave.” (SG)

4. Prioritize the right people

“Prioritize people who wish to prioritize you: not those who treat you as an option.” (DK)

5. Support others and they’ll support you

“Challenge prejudice and discrimination even when it isn’t aimed at you or people like you. Racism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia and, yes, even ageism, are toxic, depriving people of opportunities to fulfill their potential. Our enemies seek to divide us. Don’t let them. Support others and you will be supported by others.” (Matthew Hodson, Executive Director, NAM / aidsmap)

“Help when you can and accept help when you need it.” (JM)

6. Actions speak louder than words

“Someone may say that they’re committed to you or feel a certain way about you, but if their actions say otherwise, listen to what those actions are telling you. People really do reveal themselves through their actions.” (DK)

7. Strive to be kind

“Always try to treat others with kindness… even if you have the perfect, bitchy response to hand to put someone down.” (Anon.)

“Cruelty is not funny.” (Matthew Hodson)

8. Don’t ignore warning signs

“Don’t ignore red flags when getting involved with someone. They nearly always turn into bigger issues further down the line.” (Anon.)

9. Swap contact details

“If you have amazing sex with someone in a bathhouse or other sex venue, don’t be shy of asking them for their phone number. If you don’t, you’ll likely never see them again and may regret not asking for it. I never used to do this, but when I started doing so, I was surprised how often guys wanted to connect again or meet up. Not everyone is looking for an anonymous, brief encounter. In fact, most people aren’t.” (Anon.)

(Photo: Shutterstock)

10. The right partner goes beyond the physical

“Good sex involves your heart, head and dick. If your dick is the only part of you really involved, don’t be surprised if, after you orgasm, you feel lonelier than ever…this is your heart and head saying, ‘Hey, why didn’t you let us in on this?’ Learn to open your heart and your mind as well as your legs!” (Michael Dale Kimmel, a California-licensed psychotherapist)

“Don’t fall in love with a man just because he has a gorgeous dick … or any other gorgeous body part. In a long-term relationship, sex will only ever be a small part of your adventures together: and personality and shared values will become more important.” (Anon.)

11. Don’t fall for myths

“The old saying that ‘No-one loves a fairy over 40’ is a big, fat lie.” (Anon.)

12. Things will change and that’s OK

“What would I advise my 20-year-old self about love? Love is different when you’re in your twenties, it’s supposed to be an adventure; you’re meant to love lots of people in many ways. That’s what happens at your age. Love changes, as you get older: things get calmer, problems become more subtle, you’ll probably look for more stability and less drama. So, enjoy your lovers now, knowing it will just get better over time.” (Michael Dale Kimmel)

13. Cherish all generations

“Every generation is fabulous in its own way – and every generation will face its own struggles. My generation was decimated by AIDS. Chemsex continues to take a toll on our communities. We cannot be certain that the freedoms and rights we enjoy now will continue unless we remain vigilant. We deal with our challenges more effectively when we learn from the generations that came before us.” (Matthew Hodson)

14. Choose the relationship that’s right for you

“It’s possible to love more than one person at the same time, equally and differently. Some of us are naturally suited to non-monogamy and that can also be a ‘committed relationship.’ But be honest with yourself and your partner. Cheating sucks.” (Dominic Davies)

“Make sure you get the relationship you want. The great thing about being gay is that we don’t feel like we have to have a relationship like our parents. If you want to be open, negotiate that. And if you want to be monogamous, then that’s OK too.” (SG)

15. Life is too short to not be yourself

“Life is too short to spend time hiding your true self or trying to live up to the expectations of others. This is your life and you only get to live it once.” (DK)

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Via Daily Dharma: Understanding Difficult Emotions

 When you ignore [a] difficult emotion, that's delusion, that's ignoring it. … When we have wisdom, mindfulness, and understanding, then we can resolve emotions.

—Bhante Buddharakkhita, “Overcoming Difficult Emotions in a Chaotic World”

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