Sunday, May 16, 2021

#344 How to Handle Anger, Uncertainty, and Self-Loathing | Mushim Patricia Ikeda



1:15:09

#344: How to Handle Anger, Uncertainty, and Self-Loathing | Mushim Patricia Ikeda

When somebody wrongs you, what is the wise way to handle your anger? Is forgiveness possible? What about friendliness? My guest today has a lot of thoughts about how to handle anger and how to respond to people who mean you harm.

It might surprise you to hear from a Buddhist teacher who actually isn’t utterly disparaging of anger. In fact, she is proud (somewhat facetiously) of having been called “the original Angry Asian Buddhist.” Her name is Mushim Patricia Ikeda, and she is my kind of Buddhist. She self-describes as “snarky,” and, as you will hear, she loves to laugh. She has doable, down-to-earth strategies, and she makes a compelling, if counterintuitive, case for the pragmatism of sending goodwill to people who want to harm you.

Mushim is a core teacher at the East Bay Meditation Center. She is a writer, activist, and diversity consultant. She has trained for decades as both a lay and monastic Buddhist. Aside from anger, we also discuss how to handle uncertainty, and what Mushim calls a “pandemic of self-loathing” in our culture. But we begin with some candid talk about the trauma of being an Asian-American during a time of rising violence against the AAPI community.

This is the second in a two-part series on the uptick in anti-Asian violence -- a trend that should be particularly worrisome for this audience, given the Asian roots of meditation and many of the other happiness-producing modalities we talk about on this show. If you missed it, go check out Monday’s episode, where we explore the history of anti-Buddhist and anti-Asian violence in America (which started decades before the pandemic), and the hurt felt by many Asian-American Buddhists about how they can be overlooked by other American Buddhists, including, sometimes, me.

Two other items of business: first, are you interested in teaching mindfulness to teens? Looking to carve your own path and share this practice in a way that feels real, authentic, and relevant in today’s world? Our friends at iBme are accepting applications for their Mindfulness Teacher Training program - catered towards working with teens and young adults. The last round of applications are due May 15th and scholarships are available. For more information and to apply, check out: https://ibme.com/mindfulness-teacher-training/.

And second, we want to recognize and deeply thank mental health professionals for all you do. For a year's FREE access to the app and hundreds of meditations and resources, visit: https://www.tenpercent.com/mentalhealth.

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/mushim-patricia-ikeda-344

Frederick P. Lenz Foundation Distinguished Guest Lecturer: Lama Rod Owen...

Lama Rod | Love and Rage: The Path of Freedom Through Anger | Talks at G...

Via Daily Dharma: Letting Ourselves Rest

 In order to have a clearer sense of what the mind is like, we need to become comfortable letting ourselves, and our mind, rest with ease.

—Justin von Bujdoss, “Tilopa’s Six Nails”

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Via Ram Dass - Love Serve Remember Foundation // Words of Wisdom - May 16, 2021 💌

 

When talking about awareness, most of us identify with our awareness through the ego, through the mind and senses. But the true self is in the middle of our chest, in our spiritual heart.     

So, to get from ego to the true self I said: “I am loving awareness.” Loving awareness is the soul. I am loving awareness. I am aware of everything, I’m aware of my body and my senses and my mind, I’m aware of all of it, but I notice that I’m loving all of it. I’m loving all of the world. The self that I identify with emanates from the ocean of love. The self that is the ego is the ocean of fear.       

When I am loving awareness I’m aware of everything outside, but pulling into the heart, the spiritual heart brings me to loving awareness. I’m aware of my thoughts, but loving awareness is simply witnessing them. And loving awareness is in the moment. I have thoughts about the past and future, and those are not helpful, so I dive deep into the present and the presence and in this present moment we will find loving awareness.       

Only this moment is real, this moment of loving awareness. The past and the future are all just thoughts.  

-Ram Dass -

Saturday, May 15, 2021

Bad Massage Boy ("Bad Boy" Short Film #18)

Let’s Talk the Joy of Later Life Sex - Mark and Andrew

https://linktr.ee/sotozenbuddhistassociation?goal=0_1988ee44b2-f95d55753b-21406289&mc_cid=f95d55753b&mc_eid=c4fa232648

 

Via Daily Dharma: Releasing Our Expectations

We have endless expectations that our experience will go a certain way, and these expectations are almost inevitably foiled... Zen Buddhist practice asks us to sit with and try to accept that incongruity, rather than strain against it. 

—Mike Gillis, “Cringing Toward Compassion”

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VIA White Crane Institute // 2018 - TODAY'S GAY WISDOM

 


 GIVE UP!

 15 Things To Give Up To Be Happy

  1. Give up the need to always be right

 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

  1. Give up the need for control

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

  1. Give up on blame

 Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

  1. Give up self-defeating self-talk

 Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

  1. Give up limiting beliefs

…about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

  1. Give up complaining

 Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

  1. Give up the luxury of criticism

 Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

  1. Give up the need to impress others

 Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

  1. Give up resistance to change

 Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” 
Joseph Campbell

  1. Give up labels

Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

  1. Give up on fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place. “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

  1. Give up excuses

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

  1. Give up the past

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

  1. Give up attachment

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at it with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

  1. Give up living life to other people’s expectations

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Mindrolling – Raghu Markus – Ep. 392 – We’re All Still Here with Krishna Das, Daniel Goleman, & Rameshwar Das

 In this virtual journey through 1970s India, Raghu, Krishna Das, Daniel Goleman, and Rameshwar Das compare roadmaps and share stories of Ram Dass, LSD, Maharajji, and miracles.In this virtual journey through 1970s India, Raghu, Krishna Das, Daniel Goleman, and Rameshwar Das compare roadmaps and share stories of Ram Dass...

Friday, May 14, 2021

Via White Crane Institute // This Day in Gay History May 14 Born


Magnus Hirschfeld
1868 -

The great German physician, sexologist, and Gay Rights advocate MAGNUS HIRSHFELD was both born and died on this day (1868-1935). Known as "the Einstein of Sex" he is credited with developing the theory of a third, "intermediate sex" between men and women. In 1897, Hirschfeld founded the Scientific Humanitarian Committee, which gathered over 5000 signatures from prominent Germans for a petition to overturn Paragraph 175, the section of the German penal code that criminalized homosexuality (founded on this date as well -- see below). In 1921 He organized the First Congress for Sexual Reform, which led to the formation of the World League for Sexual Reform.

Hirschfeld co-wrote and acted in the 1919 film "Anders als die Andern" ("Different From the Others"), which featured the first homosexual character ever written for cinema. It was released a few years ago on DVD and still offers a fascinating view from the time. He also founded the Institute for Sexual Research which featured an immense library on sex and provided educational services and medical consultations.

The writers Christopher Isherwood & W.H. Auden both visited the institute while in Germany. When the Nazis took power, one of their first actions was to destroy the Institute and burn the library. At that time Hirschfeld was away from Germany on a speaking tour. He died in Nice on his 67th birthday in 1935, while in exile from his native Germany in Nice, France.

The word "transsexual" was coined by Dr. Hirschfeld to describe the phenomenon that he argued was a natural extension of human sexuality. His philosophy centered on the contention that there was a third sex, called the Uranian, which was neither male nor female, but a combination of both that was manifested in homosexuality, which was not to be considered an impure deviation, or even as an illness, but as a natural and phenomenal component of human nature.

For his work, the Nazis targeted Dr. Hirschfeld as an example of Jewish influence infecting the purity of the German people, luring the Aryan race into impure and destructive perversity. He was ultimately driven into exile and burned in effigy as an emblem of evil. The slogan with which he began his speeches, "Uranians of the World, Unite!" was not to be realized until our own time.

 

Sublet | Official Trailer

Ellen Degeneres Explains Why She’s Ending Her Show

Via Daily Dharma: Breathing In and Breathing Out

 There has to be breathing in as well as breathing out. We need to have both the active and the contemplative.

—Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo, “Three Kinds of Laziness”

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