Monday, July 21, 2014

Via the Advocate: Op-ed: All Gay People Are Screwed Up and It's OK

We all face a deficit for growing up LGBT in a straight world. Admitting it is the first step in making sure the next generation gets a better deal. 
 
 
My boyfriend was sent to conversion camp. An ex was beaten by his gay-hating father and brothers on a regular basis. My father wouldn’t let me take bubble baths because they were too “gay.”
 These experiences are not life affirming. So, during a recent conversation regarding the disquieting behavior of some LGBT peers, it seemed entirely innocuous to note that, “All gay people are damaged.” A fellow editor agreed, but mentioned many folks would take offense to that. That blew my mind.

Who could argue with that? How could we not be emotionally harmed by a society that tells us we’re screwed up at every turn? I don’t know one gay guy who never had “Fag” hurled at them, or many lesbians never told they could switch teams if they wanted to. That’s a cakewalk compared to the beatings and killings we’re still subjected to on the streets or the fear most of us have walking hand-in-hand with our partners and spouses, even in big cities. Most disturbing is that our experiences, as Americans, are much less frightening than those experienced by LGBT people in most of the world.

Glorifying victimhood is rarely helpful, but denying it exists is ignorant and dangerous. All of this hatred we experience, whether it be overt or covert, is internalized and exerts itself in different ways — some succumb to drugs, promiscuous sex, or self-hate. But most of us deal with it and prosper. I wonder if some gays would equate the “damaged” label with weakness; that to be affected by an intolerant society is a reflection on your own strength or perseverance. For me, being aware of the injustices is part of being an active part of society. Keeping your eyes open and reveling in tragedy are different.

It sometimes takes a harsh circumstance to remind us how different our lives are. In The Case Against 8, HBO's powerful documentary on the defeat of California's antigay ballot initiative, lead plaintiff Kristin Perry had an "a-ha moment" while testifying in front of a federal judge. Defense attorney Ted Olson asked Perry if she thought granting marriage equality to gays and lesbians would have an effect on other forms of LGBT discrimination. Perry said her whole life would have been different, and better, if the biggest choice she made in it — marriage — was given the same weight and respect as everyone else's: "So, if Prop. 8 were undone and kids like me, growing up in Bakersfield right now, can never know what this felt like, then I assume their entire lives would be on a higher arc, they would live with a higher sense of themselves that would improve the quality of their entire life."

Reflecting on that moment later, she said, "It was powerful to connect the dots spontaneously on the stand and realize you’ve been living under this blanket of hate everywhere you turn. People tell you, 'Tough shit, you don’t get to have that. You don’t get to feel protected at work, you don’t get to feel your kids are like other people’s kids, you don't get to feel like your relationship is like other people’s relationships. You have to come out every single day everywhere you go, and good luck with that... This isn’t just about me being a strong enough person, this is what the whole lesbian and gay community is dealing with and, frankly, any minority group."
 

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Flower of the Day: 07/19/14

"As difficult as the symptoms may be, this planetary transformation is a change for the better. The sustainability crisis, the economic crisis, the lack of water and food – all of this is happening precisely to create space for a new vision to emerge, a new way of looking at life in a way that includes spirituality. As long as we believe that nature is spiritless, or something to be negotiated for like a product, nature will show its limits. As long as the economy is based on a fear of scarcity and money remains at the service of greed, it is natural that a there will be a collapse in the system. Change comes to shine light on these aspects of life."
 
Sri Prem Baba

Buddhism for Our Time | July 20, 2014

Since we find ourselves living at a time when it is the individual and not the group that is privileged and empowered, we should acknowledge that, like practitioners throughout history, we orient our Buddhisms to the realities we’ve constructed rather than the other way around. 
 
—John Nelson, “Experimental Buddhism”
 

Friday, July 18, 2014

The Welcome - United Nations Free & Equal


Flower of the Day: 07/18/14

"We can translate the journey of life as the transition from the false to the real, from the sleeping state to the state of awakening. Once awake, we stop projecting the contents of our minds or dreams onto the other and we discover that separation is but an illusion. We find unity within multiplicity. We finally discover the answer to the big question, ‘Who am I?’ Then, all other questions disappear and our minds start to be at peace. This happens because we begin to have a profound understanding of the play of life, and this brings us contentment and satisfaction."
 
Sri Prem Baba

Via Daily Dharma


Inspiration from the Inside | July 18, 2014

Inspiration must come from within ourselves. If we hope to get inspiration from the outside—as if it was falling from the sky—this is wrong. It should be like water coming out of a source. From where else could we receive it? 
 
—Myongsong Sunim, “What Does Being a Buddhist Mean to You?”
 

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Flower of the Day: 07/17/14

"The essence of codependency lies in one’s need for the other to suffer in order for one to be happy. Codependency is when one needs the other to feel inferior so one can feel superior, or for the other to feel helpless so one can feel powerful."
Sri Prem Baba

Coming, Going | July 17, 2014

Empty-handed I entered the world
Barefoot I leave it.
My coming, my going—
Two simple happenings
That got entangled. 
 
—Kozan Ichikyo, "Coming, Going"

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Flower of the Day: 07/16/14

“There are moments along one’s journey when there is nothing to be done. One must give in, because even though there is a desperate controlling self inside of oneself, it cannot do anything at all. This moment comes when one realizes the senselessness of trying to force things to happen in a different way than life is providing. In other words, one perceives the absurdity of trying to go against the flow of life. This is not an easy passage because it requires a deep trust in divine justice. One is being called to discover the wisdom of uncertainty, and should begin to value the signs that appear along the way, even if they seem unfair.”
Sri Prem Baba

Monday, July 14, 2014

Via Project Happiness / FB:


Flower of the Day: 07/14/14

“The world is full of distractions that can completely overwhelm you. The mind can easily be dragged down and fall into decay. This is the nature of the world. It is your work to learn how to walk the fine line of living in the world without getting lost in it. This is the path of the yogi, the one who becomes Lord of himself. On this path, it is important that you be able to rein in your mind in order to re-inform it. To this end, I suggest practicing silence daily, even if it’s for short periods of time.”


Sri Prem Baba

Via Daily Dharma


The Results of Practice | July 14, 2014

One becomes an ordinary person, but in an extraordinary way. Your words are still there, your hang-ups may still be there, you still have to deal with all your karmic baggage and so on, but you see it in a totally different light. You’re at peace with yourself, at peace with the world. Not in a complacent sense, but in the sense that you can simply devote yourself to a life of compassion.
 
—L.F. Habito, “Other Fingers Pointing to the Moon”
 

Sunday, July 13, 2014

20 Misconceptions About Sex - mental_floss on YouTube (Ep.212)




Via JMG: World Health Organization: ALL Gay Men Should Be On Anti-Retroviral Drugs


A stunning declaration from the World Health Organization:
The World Health Organization has suggested for the first time that all men who have sex with men should take antiretroviral medicine, warning that HIV infection rates among gay men are exploding around the world. In guidelines published Friday, it said that it “strongly recommends men who have sex with men consider taking antiretroviral medicines as an additional method of preventing HIV infection.” Similar guidelines were issued by the U.S. in May.
In May, the CDC expanded its own recommendations, saying that anybody at risk for HIV, not just gay men, should be taking Truvada.

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Reposted from Joe Jervis

JMG Editorial Of The Day


From the editorial board of the New York TImes:
President Obama should resist a pressure campaign by some religious groups to weaken a promised executive order that would prohibit federal contractors from discriminating against gay men, lesbians and transgender people in their hiring practices.

Emboldened by the Supreme Court’s addlebrained Hobby Lobby decision, several groups wrote to Mr. Obama on July 1 asking him to allow federal contractors to fire or refuse to hire workers based on their religious objections to a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity.

This is not a question of religious freedom. It is a question of whether to allow religion to be used as an excuse to discriminate in employment against a particular group of people. Many states already have laws protecting gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender workers. There is no such federal law, so the presidential order (promised but not yet produced) would extend those rules to companies that receive federal contracts in states without those kinds of anti-bias laws, protecting millions more people.

Mr. Obama’s resolve is being tested. There is no good reason to give religious employers a special privilege to inflict undeserved pain by, for example, refusing to hire someone to work on a government-backed project just because she happens to be a lesbian, or firing a capable employee who marries someone of the same sex.
(Tipped by JMG reader Win)


Reposted from Joe Jervis

Via JMG: Ian Thorpe On Coming Out


Via the Guardian:
On Sunday night on Australian television Thorpe faced Sir Michael Parkinson to overturn what he said had become the "big lie" in his life. "What happened was, I felt that the lie had become so big that I didn't want people to question my integrity and a little bit of ego comes into this," Thorpe said in a 90-minute interview on the Ten network. "I didn't want people to think that I had lied about everything." Now 31, the swimmer said the words he had been avoiding: "I'm not straight and this is only something that very recently – we're talking in the past two weeks – I've been comfortable telling the closest people around me." His mother was shocked; his friends less so. But everyone had embraced him and he was relieved. When the interview goes to air in Australia, he said, I can finally "breathe out".






(Via Towleroad)


Reposted from Joe Jervis

Via Robert Reich / FB

The real dividing line in America today isn’t between conservatives and liberals or between Democrats and Republicans. It’s between the haters and the big-hearted. The haters direct their venom not just at child refugees seeking asylum from the drug war we created, but also at gays who want to marry, African-Americans who want to vote and exercise their other rights of citizenship, women who seek abortions, or even women in general, Latinos who want their children to be taught in Spanish, immigrants in general, Muslims, Jews, government “bureaucrats,” the poor and needy, anyone who dares suggest a required background check before buying guns, people they call “liberals” or “socialists” or “communists,” even the President of the United States. The haters are enflamed by hate-mongers in the media who blame the nation’s troubles on “them.” The haters are loud and angry; they yell and wave their signs before the cameras. But the haters are not America. They are a small and vocal minority. Most Americans are generous and welcoming, decent and kind-hearted. We are the silent majority, who have been silent too long.

 - Robert Reich

Via Daily Dharma


Room for Everything | July 13, 2014

Noticing the space around people and things provides a different way of looking at them, and developing this spacious view is a way of opening oneself. When one has a spacious mind, there is room for everything.
 
—Ajahn Sumedho, “Noticing Space”
 

Flower of the Day: 07/13/14

“It is important to differentiate between vertical and horizontal religions. Vertical religion is spirituality, the path towards enlightenment. It represents the deepest meaning of the word ‘religion,’ which is the reconnection of the individual soul with the Absolute. This union is only possible when one is able to follow the orders given by one’s own heart. Horizontal religion is a creation of the human mind in order to meet a social need. In this sense, I do not work with religion. I never say do this or that. I simply suggest that you become silent, receptive and increase your perception enough to notice the commandment that comes from within.”


Sri Prem Baba