A personal blog by a graying (mostly Anglo with light African-American roots) gay left leaning liberal progressive married college-educated Buddhist Baha'i BBC/NPR-listening Professor Emeritus now following the Dharma in Minas Gerais, Brasil.
I read the daily dharma every morning to set an intention for the day.
—Daily Dharma reader
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Malicious speech is
unhealthy. Refraining from malicious speech is healthy. (MN 9)
Abandoning malicious speech, one refrains from malicious speech. One
does not repeat there what one has heard here to the detriment of these,
or repeat here what one has heard there to the detriment of those. One
unites those who are divided, is a promoter of friendships, and speaks
words that promote concord. (DN 1) One practices thus: “Others may speak
maliciously, but I shall abstain from malicious speech.” (MN 8)
Disputes occur when a person is contemptuous and domineering. Such a
person dwells disrespectful and undeferential towards others, causing
harm and unhappiness for many. If you see any such root of a dispute
either in yourselves or externally, you should strive to abandon it. And
if you do not see any such root of dispute either in yourselves or
externally, you should practice in such a way that it does not erupt in
the future. (MN 104)
Reflection
You may have
noticed that some people are more argumentative than others. There are
certain character traits that account for this, and being contemptuous
and domineering is certainly among them. The fact is that human
conflicts are rooted in human qualities of mind, and these need to be
addressed if any kind of transformation is to happen. The place to begin
this process is in yourself. Do you see any roots of dispute in
yourself?
Daily Practice
One of the ways
to practice refraining from malicious speech is to clear your mind of
the mental and emotional traits that give rise to it. Do you ever catch
yourself being contemptuous or domineering? Do you ever dwell
disrespectful and undeferential towards others? This is the place to
start: “Others might tolerate these qualities in themselves, but I shall
not.” Honest self-reflection is a challenging but rewarding practice.
Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Verbal Action One week from today: Refraining from Harsh Speech
Share your thoughts and join the conversation on social media #DhammaWheel
Whatever you intend,
whatever you plan, and whatever you have a tendency toward, that will
become the basis on which your mind is established. (SN 12.40) Develop
meditation on compassion, for when you develop meditation on compassion,
any cruelty will be abandoned. (MN 62)
Compassion succeeds when it makes cruelty subside. (Vm 9.94)
Reflection
When
lovingkindness comes in contact with witnessing the suffering of others,
it transforms into compassion. Compassion and cruelty are considered
opposite mental states and cannot coexist in the same mind moment: when
one is present, the other is absent. This is why it is so important to
cultivate compassion as an intentional act, both to make it grow in its
own right and to block out all cruelty.
Daily Practice
Allow yourself
to be open to the fact that people are suffering. Cultivate the emotion
of compassion and allow it to grow. You are training your mind to
develop in a particular direction, much like guiding the growth of a
plant or a vine. As the process unfolds, the tendency toward compassion
will get stronger. As your character gradually evolves in this healthy
direction, the tendency—even the ability—to feel cruelty will disappear.
Tomorrow: Refraining from Malicious Speech One week from today: Cultivating Appreciative Joy
Share your thoughts and join the conversation on social media #DhammaWheel
When
we stop resisting sadness—trying to sweeten it with phone calls,
distractions, or pleasures—and just let ourselves feel it in all its
heaviness, darkness, and pain, it disappears by itself, and even
transforms into delight.
David Edwards, “Meditation in an Age of Cataclysms”