Via JMG: LGBT Groups React To Virginia Ruling

AFER

Through its decision today, the court has upheld the principles of equality upon which this nation was founded,” said Plaintiffs’ lead co-counsel Theodore B. Olson of Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher LLP. “Virginia’s prohibition on marriage for same-sex couples relegates gay and lesbian Virginians to second-class status. Laws excluding gay men and lesbians from marriage violate personal freedom, are an unnecessary government intrusion, and cause serious harm. That type of law cannot stand.” In November 2006, voters in the Commonwealth amended the state constitution to define marriage as solely between one man and one woman and ban recognition of any legal status “approximat[ing] the design, qualities, significance, or effects of marriage” for gays and lesbians.  Preexisting laws also banned same-sex marriage in Virginia. “The United States Supreme Court has stated fourteen times that the freedom to marry is one of the most fundamental rights—if not the most fundamental right—of all Americans ,” said Plaintiffs’ lead co-counsel David Boies of Boies, Schiller & Flexner LLP. “The denial of that fundamental freedom to marry the person you love and be treated with equal dignity and respect seriously harms gay and lesbian Americans and the children they are raising.” The American Foundation for Equal Rights (AFER) is the sole sponsor of Bostic v. Rainey.

Freedom To Marry

The bipartisan momentum for marriage is building at an unprecedented speed. In just the past several weeks, federal judges in Utah, Oklahoma, and Kentucky; the Attorney Generals of Virginia and Nevada; the Governor of Nevada, and now a federal judge in Virginia have all said that marriage discrimination against loving and committed gay couples is indefensible under our Constitution. There has been a fundamental shift in the legal landscape. America is ready for the freedom to marry and those couples in Virginia, on the eve of Valentine's Day, are ready to marry.

Human Rights Campaign

“Yet another court has upheld the fundamental idea that gay and lesbian Americans are entitled to full equality under the law. Nearly fifty years ago, another Virginia case struck down bans on interracial marriage across the country, and now this commonwealth brings renewed hope for an end to irrational barriers to marriage for loving and committed couples across the country. “Following recent decisions in Utah, Oklahoma, Ohio and Kentucky this Virginia ruling proves that marriage equality is once again on the fast track to the United States Supreme Court. From the South to the Midwest, this historic progress sends a message that no American should have to wait for equality, no matter where they live. “Right now this nation is divided into two Americas—one where full legal equality is nearly a reality, and the other where even the most basic protections of the law are nonexistent for loving gay and lesbian couples. We cannot and will not tolerate that patchwork of discrimination, and we won’t stop fighting until fairness and dignity reaches each and every American in all 50 states.”

Lambda Legal

“This is a wonderful day for all loving and committed couples in Virginia who want only the same protections for their families as anyone else,” said Claire Guthrie Gastañaga, Executive Director of the ACLU of Virginia. “The court is right to strike down this sweeping and discriminatory ban. We congratulate the attorneys and their clients.” In her opinion, Judge Arenda L. Wright Allen wrote: “Gay and lesbian individuals share the same capacity as heterosexual individuals to form, preserve and celebrate loving, intimate and lasting relationships. Such relationships are created through the exercise of sacred, personal choices—choices, like the choices made by every other citizen, that must be free from unwarranted government interference.”

Labels: AFER, David Boies, Freedom To Marry, HRC, LGBT rights, marriage equality, Ted Olson, Virginia

Reposted from Joe Jervis

Via JMG: BREAKING: Judge Strikes Down Virginia's Ban On Gay Marriage, Ruling STAYED

 

From AFER's website:

The Federal District Court ruled that Virginia’s marriage ban violates the U.S. Constitution. It said that loving couples like our plaintiffs, Tim Bostic & Tony London and Carol Schall & Mary Townley are entitled to the same basic rights and protections as every other American. This is a monumental victory—for Virginia and our country—and the first of its kind for a state in the South. While the decision will not go into effect immediately—it has been stayed pending appeal—this is a great cause for celebration.

UPDATE: The judge's 41-page ruling begins with a quote from Mildred Loving.

Labels: AFER, David Boies, LGBT rights, Mark Herring, marriage equality, Ted Olson, Virginia

Reposted from Joe Jervis

Via Tricycle Daily Dharma

Tricycle Daily Dharma February 14, 2014

On Love

If we want to be loved, we are looking for a support system. If we want to love, we are looking for spiritual growth.

- Ayya Khema, "What Love Is"

Read the entire article in the Wisdom Collection through February 15, 2014
For full access at any time, become a Tricycle Community Supporting or Sustaining Member

Via JMG: Long Island Mom Nastily Rejects Party Invite From Child With Two Dads

UPDATE: Josh Barro Calls Shenanigans

Long Island radio station K98 has posted the above to their Facebook page with this message:

Steve & Leeana [radio hosts] got this from a set of dads in Baldwin who were really upset over how one mom, Beth, chose to respond to their daughter's birthday party invite. Do you think she was right to write this? Would a simple phone call RSVP'ing "no" been better? BTW: Beth gave us permission to post her phone number and said anyone who has a problem with what she wrote can call her, too!

Commenters at the above link are divided over whether the station should have blurred out the bigot's phone number even though she apparently welcomes complaining calls.
UPDATE: MSNBC commentator Josh Barro believes that the station is pulling a hoax.

Lots of people sharing this around like it's confirmed. Have we not learned the Dayna Morales lesson? These notes are hoaxes. In this case, the radio station that ran the note said the nastygram author followed up with them, saying to go ahead and share her number with the public, so they could call if they had a problem with her. The phone number is 516.362.1357. It's a VoIP line with a voicemail box that sounds like an old-school answering machine. The voicemail box is not full. Also: The party hosts withheld their own names and yet are somehow willing to have their daughter Sophia's name splashed all over the internet. And their handwriting looks like my mom's. Have you ever met a gay man with handwriting like that? Fake. Fake. Fake.

Normally I don't report on these things and I ignored the lesbian waitress hoax that Barro mentions. What do you think? Barro makes some good points. (Except that I do know gay men with handwriting like that.)

Labels: bigotry, gay families, gay parenting, Long Island

Reposted from Joe Jervis

Worldwide Valentine's Day Propaganda from #CheersToSochi #LGBT

Via Being Liberal / FB:

Via Tricycle Daily Dharma

Tricycle Daily Dharma February 13, 2014

Meditation, Simply Defined

Meditation, simply defined, is a way of being aware. It is the happy marriage of doing and being. It lifts the fog of our ordinary lives to reveal what is hidden; it loosens the knot of self-centeredness and opens the heart; it moves us beyond mere concepts to allow for a direct experience of reality.

- Lama Surya Das, “The Heart-Essence of Buddhist Meditation”

Read the entire article in the Wisdom Collection through February 14, 2014
For full access at any time, become a Tricycle Community Supporting or Sustaining Member

Via JMG: Updated Marriage Lawsuits Map

JMG reader Jeff Jones has updated his map of the states with pending marriage lawsuits to include this week's action in Missouri and Louisiana. Embiggen the above image and visit Jeff's site for more details.

Labels: lawsuits, LGBT rights, maps, marriage equality

Reposted from Joe Jervis

Texas Sports Anchor Delivers Jaw-Dropping Speech On Gay NFL Players

Happy!

Post by Mario Patterson.

Via Occupy Democrats / FB:

Via Del Shores / FB:

Via Tricycle Daily Dharma

Tricycle Daily Dharma February 12, 2014

Advice from an Experienced Meditator

We're swamped with therapies, self-help books, and techniques—what musician and activist Bob Geldof called ‘the thriving economy of psychotherapists, designer religions, and spiritual boutiques’—which treat our lives as projects to be tweaked and fixed. Isn't meditation (if it's anything at all) a relief from all this? Isn't it the opposite of repairing and adjusting and striving and perpetually wanting things to be different?

- Barry Evans, “The Myth of the Experienced Meditator”

Read the entire article in the Wisdom Collection through February 13, 2014
For full access at any time, become a Tricycle Community Supporting or Sustaining Member

Via FB: Being Baha’i and Gay

Being Baha’i and Gay

-------------------------
Allah'u'abha! I am a 41 year-old third-generation Baha’i. I’m also gay. On the six-point Kinsey scale I eventually nailed myself as 4.5, which is at about the 75 percent mark across the scale (0 totally straight, 3 bisexual, and 6 totally homosexual). Sadly, this means to me that 75 percent or so of my sexual interest is devoted towards men. Woops, I am one, and people have a problem with that

I met a Baha’i recently who told me he had -- living in Seattle -- never even met a gay Baha’i, and so after some thought, I've decided to share a little of my journey from a man that has had homosexual feelings since before puberty, hated himself for them fiercely, and come out alive on the other side to write this.

Just a little background about me: like others in this country who went to school in the 1980s or prior, I was taught by American society that a man being attracted to men was considered morally wrong before I even knew to associate that concept with myself. When later I finally had accept in myself an innate attraction to other men, you can imagine the impact on my self-worth as I had to accept that my brand-new sex drive as a young man, such a part of any young man’s excitement when embarking towards manhood, was broken.

In high school I frequented libraries looking up with fierce -- but ultimately futile -- hopes that I would find evidence this hated trait was a phase I would grow out of or a condition that I could be cured of. Come to find out that curing doesn’t work, and overwhelmingly hurts those who try, increasing suicidal ideation when relapsing, and so forth.

“Okay,” I realized at some point, “So my unbidden but immovable homosexual desires are evil… gotcha. What did I do to be born evil again? Do I have to stay evil? Or can I just hide being evil and pretend to be good?” This latter means doing what gay men had done throughout the ages, hide it like crazy, deny it, have sex in secret, and marry a woman to really hide it? Sorry, to me that latter seems more evil than having sex with men.

I realize that to live with a man and have an emotional and sexual relationship with him _is_ a life choice and one forbidden in the Faith. I maintain that in my case, at least the attraction is _not_ a choice: who (in the 1980s, at least) would choose to be a kind of societal leper? Not I.

Sadly, sexuality is not changeable by human means, at least not at this time in history, and few of us have the spiritual capacity to just ignore our inner desires altogether. You can deprioritize sex and fantasies in your head to a degree, sure, but it’s always there in the background. And, because as far as you know you were born this way like myself -- that is, not molded in such fashion by molestation or other abusive means – you have to then transfer the hatred of the characteristic with yourself, because you have it.

So, over the years I did some reading, and successively found what I was looking for layer by layer. First I found that Shoghi Effendi interpreted Baha’u’llah’s law against pederasty as also against Baha’is having homosexual sex. I’ve talked to gay Baha’is or straight non-Baha'is that are interested in the Faith but can’t get past what they see to be a denial of human rights and bigoted.

But read further, and the Guardian also said if we’re to start sanctioning Baha’is who engage in homosexual sex, we’ll also have to start sanctioning Baha’is who have extramarital heterosexual sex and Baha’is who commit adultery, and he noted that at that time – which he called a “low water mark in spiritual history” – to engage in such sanctioning would be “ridiculous.”

Against Baha'i law as it is, seeing homosexual sex listed alongside extramarital heterosexual sex for the first time in my life in any context, and it makes perfect sense suddenly to me. How many do you know who married as a virgin? Not many? Me either. I can’t recall any, actually. Thinking about it, extramarital sex in this country is the norm, not the exception, and virgins are hard to find these days.

Is this, then, an indication that even if I do have sex with a man, that’s not so different than two heterosexuals having sex outside of marriage; against the law, certainly, but not such a huge deal I should -- or anyone should -- hate me for it? That sounds more right to me.

I'm clearer now that Baha’u’llah’s laws are to protect all mankind, world over, and to promote the betterment of the entire world. Looking at it, created as we were said to have been by God with love, out of love, to love him in return and serve your fellow mankind. It sounds more reasonable, then, that Baha'u'llah gave us these laws to avoid self-harm on our part; a sort of fence of guidelines that we're more than welcome to walk out of, but the path is likely gonna be rockier there. If these laws were, then, given to us as a loving parent gives rules to a beloved child that they don’t want to see get hurt, not random torments to suffer under.

Ultimately I know I have to choose a man or a woman, and know and accept that I am giving up something dear to me either way. Either I go against my sexual preference and try and find myself a female mate who’ll actually want me after being honest with her about my history and sexuality, or I will choose a good man, and in so doing lose the potential for a husband and wife family team, which I do see great value in for those capable, it’s clearly much harder to have biological babies for obvious reasons, and not least having to potentially deal with anti-gay bigotry that is not gone just because of legalized gay marriage. It'll go underground more, but it's not gone.

Thankfully, after this journey through Baha'i writings and my own conscience, soul, and moral compass, it’s finally becoming evident to my heart and mind that I am not defined solely or even mostly by my sexuality, not, at least, by Baha'u'llah. And as a man, gay or not, I need to love all of me, even the parts I may not like or understand -- because even those parts may prove to have hidden value. Would I be writing to you now this very personal facet of myself that will likely make at least one person who sees it here uncomfortable? No, I'm not a sadist. However, maybe I can help reach the next gay Baha'i I meet as disillusioned and self-loathing as I once was? Such is my hope.

My heart tells me that regardless of other people and their beliefs, God loves me unconditionally and wants the best for me, and the answer to my question is that no, I am no less of a man in Baha'u'llah's eyes, and He tells me that God would never promote hatred of any of His children for any reason, even for being gay. I thank God that not too late in life I can learn to see myself as a man, not as a “gay man” or as a “bi man” or including any another a stupid qualifier.

I’m James, I’m gay, I'm a Baha'i, and I'm doing the best I can.

Thanks for reading,

JHR

Via Tricycle Daily Dharma

Tricycle Daily Dharma February 11, 2014

Mindfulness of Breathing

As we begin to practice mindfulness of breathing, we often see ourselves, initially, as the breather, apart and separate from the breath itself. The direction and development of the practice is eventually to bridge this separation until our attention is absorbed fully into the breath. The breath breathes itself, and we experience a place of deep calmness, concentration, and ease. When we breathe, we just breathe.

- Christina Feldman, “Receiving the Breath”

Read the entire article in the Wisdom Collection through February 12, 2014
For full access at any time, become a Tricycle Community Supporting or Sustaining Member

Hillary Clinton for HRC's Americans for Marriage Equality

Via JMG: HomoQuotable - Frank Bruni

"A news flash for every straight man out there: You’ve been naked in front of a gay man. In fact you’ve been naked, over the course of your life, in front of many gay men, at least if you have more than a few years on you. And here you are — uninjured, uncorrupted, intact. The earth still spins. The sun rises and sets. Maybe it was in gym class, long ago. Maybe at the health club more recently. Or maybe when you played sports at the high school level, the college level, later on. Whether we gay guys are one in 10 or one in 25, it’s a matter of chance: At some point, one of us was within eyeshot when you stripped down. And you know what? He probably wasn’t checking you out. He certainly wasn’t beaming special gay-conversion gamma rays at you. That’s why you weren’t aware of his presence and didn’t immediately go out and buy a more expensive moisturizer and a disc of Judy Garland’s greatest hits. His purpose mirrored yours. He was changing clothes and showering. It’s a locker room, for heaven’s sake. Not last call at the Rawhide." - Frank Bruni, in a New York Times column responding to the coming out of NFL prospect Michael Sam.

Labels: coming out, football, Frank Bruni, gay athletes, HomoQuotable, Michael Sam, New York Times, NFL, sports

Reposted from Joe Jervis

Via JMG: College Football Star Comes Out, May Become First Openly Gay NFL Player

University of Missouri football star Michael Sam came out today. As an NFL draft prospect, Sam may become the first openly gay active player in the pro football.

Coaches at the University of Missouri divided players into small groups at a preseason football practice last year for a team-building exercise. One by one, players were asked to talk about themselves — where they grew up, why they chose Missouri and what others might not know about them. As Michael Sam, a defensive lineman, began to speak, he balled up a piece of paper in his hands. “I’m gay,” he said. With that, Mr. Sam set himself on a path to become the first publicly gay player in the National Football League. “I looked in their eyes, and they just started shaking their heads — like, finally, he came out,” Mr. Sam said Sunday in an interview with The New York Times, the first time he spoke publicly about his sexual orientation.

Sam has been forecast to be drafted in the early rounds and says he came out now because he knew rumors were circulating. Some of his teammates knew he had been dating a member of the Missouri swim team. Hit the link for the New York Times' video interview. UPDATE: Outsports has a behind-the-scenes look at Sam's coming out.
UPDATE II: More of the back story.

Sam was a defensive end for Mizzou Tigers of the University of Missouri. He graduated in December and is currently a highly-touted prospect in the National Football League (NFL) draft. He becomes the first publicly gay athlete in any of the Big 4 sports drafts. In interviews with The New York Times and ESPN tonight, the football player stated: "I am an openly, proud gay man." In December 2013, The Associated Press named him the SEC's Defensive Player of the Year. He was also selected as one of ten unanimous first-team all-Americans. He led the SEC in both sacks and tackles-for-loss and resides in the top 10 nationally in Division I in those categories.

He is originally from Hitchcock, Texas. Sports journalist Cyd Zeigler stated to GLAAD: "Every NFL draft expert has Sam being selected in the first to fifth round of this year's NFL draft." Before his announcement, Michael Sam's publicist Howard Bragman introduced to him to athletes including openly gay former NFL players Dave Kopay and Wade Davis Jr., openly gay NBA player Jason Collins, openly gay former Major League Baseball player Billy Bean, as well as outspoken straight allies and former NFL players Brendan Ayanbadejo and Chris Kluwe. This is the fifth professional athlete that Bragman has taken out of the closet, along with more than a dozen celebrities.

UPDATE III: Athlete Ally reacts via press release.

“Michael has shown great courage in taking this step and not only do we support him, we are incredibly grateful. His decision to welcome us all into his world as he embarks upon a professional NFL career is an honorable one. This moment will resonate in a unique and important way for countless people, particularly LGBT youth,” said Super Bowl champion and human rights activist Brendon Ayanbadejo, who is a member of the Athlete Ally Board of Directors. Hudson Taylor, Founder and Executive Director of Athlete Ally said: “With Michael Sam’s brave step, he emboldens LGBT athletes and straight allies everywhere. We are in the midst of incredible transformation in American professional sports. In a very short period of time, athletics has gone from being known as ‘the last closet in America’ to being in a position to lead on this issue. This is the power of sports.”

UPDATE IV: The NFL has issued a statement: "We admire Michael Sam’s honesty and courage. Michael is a football player. Any player with ability and determination can succeed in the NFL. We look forward to welcoming and supporting Michael Sam in 2014."

 

Labels: college, coming out, football, gay athletes, Michael Sam, Missouri, NFL, sports

Reposted from Joe Jervis

Via Tricycle Daily Dharma

Tricycle Daily Dharma February 10, 2014

Pleasure and Pain

The goal of practice is not to pursue pleasure and avoid pain, but rather to experience both with full awareness, neither favoring one nor opposing the other. It is thus possible to experience mental pleasure or happiness while experiencing a certain amount of physical discomfort.

- Andrew Olendzki, “Pleasure and Pain”

Read the entire article in the Wisdom Collection through February 11, 2014
For full access at any time, become a Tricycle Community Supporting or Sustaining Member