Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Via LionsRoar: Meditation: Be Kind to Yourself

 

A three-step contemplation to give yourself the compassion you need (and deserve).

  1. Put both hands on your heart, pause, and feel their warmth. You can also put your hand anyplace on your body that feels soothing and comforting, like your belly or face.
  2. Breathe deeply in and out.
  3. Speak these words to yourself, out loud or silently, in a warm and caring tone:
This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is a part of life.
May I be kind to myself in this moment.
May I give myself the compassion I need.

The first phrase, This is a moment of suffering, is designed to bring mindfulness to the fact that you’re in pain. Other possible wordings are I’m having a really tough time right now, This hurts, or anything that describes the suffering you are experiencing.

The second phrase, Suffering is a part of life, reminds you that imperfection is part of the shared human experience. Other possible wordings are Everyone feels this way sometimes, This is part of being human, etc.

The third phrase, May I be kind to myself in this moment, helps bring a sense of caring concern to your present-moment experience. Other possible wordings are May I love and support myself right now, May I accept myself as I am, etc.

The final phrase, May I give myself the compassion I need, firmly sets your intention to be self-compassionate. You might use other words such as May I remember that I am worthy of compassion, May I give myself the same compassion I would give to a good friend, etc.

Find the wordings for these four phrases that are the most comfortable for you and memorize them. Then, the next time you judge yourself or have a difficult experience, you can use these phrases as a way of reminding yourself to be self-compassionate. This practice is a handy tool to soothe and calm troubled states of mind.

Make the jump here to read the original and more!

Calling My Childhood Bully


Via Sri Prem BabaFlor do Dia- Flor del Día - Flower of the Day 13/10/2015

“De todos os estágios da desidentificação com a natureza inferior o mais difícil é a identificação do prazer negativo. Mas, estando verdadeiramente comprometido, você consegue. E quando você vê os desdobramentos e o impacto que essa condição causa na sua vida e na vida das pessoas a sua volta, você começa a querer largar esse padrão. Nesse momento você pode enxergar o que está te prendendo e encontrar o núcleo do apego. E esse é o início do desapego.”

“De todos los estadios de la desidentificación con la naturaleza inferior el más difícil es la identificación del placer negativo. Pero estando verdaderamente comprometido, lo consigues. Y cuando ves los desdoblamientos y el impacto que esa condición causa en tu vida y en la vida de las personas cercanas, comienzas a querer soltar ese patrón. En ese momento puedes ver lo que te está tomando y encontrar el núcleo del apego. Y ese es el inicio del desapego.”

“Of all the stages within the process of de-identifying from the lower self, the most difficult is to identify our negatively orientated pleasure. If we are truly committed to this endeavor, then we will succeed. When we see all of its unfoldings and the impacts it has had on our lives and the lives of those around us, we begin to truly want to let go of this pattern. In this moment, we are able to see what has been keeping us stuck and we encounter the root of this attachment. This marks the beginning of the detachment process.”

Today's Daily Dharma: Understanding Understanding


Understanding Understanding
The idea of understanding is linked to capture and containment, to a break in an ongoing flow of movement. As if understanding were a great tiger that we must take into custody and keep enclosed and tightly controlled. But . . . what if we were able to give up this way of understanding understanding and see it not as a captured stillness or singularity but rather as a momentary pause in an ongoing movement of unfolding, like a rest in a musical score, or a pause in a story, or a swirling eddy in an inexorable, ongoing river of meaning?
—Lisbeth Lipari, "Understanding Understanding"
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Monday, October 12, 2015

Via WGB: America, the Hateful

America, the Hateful

By Lawrence Pfeil, Jr.

Part I
Seventeen years ago today, a college student died from his injuries after being abducted by two men, bound to a fence, beaten beyond recognition, and left to freeze in the Wyoming night.  According to police reports, the only part of Matthew Shepard’s face not covered with blood when they found him was where his tears had washed it away.  
Two years ago, a Texan lured a man to his house; imprisoned and bound his wrists with an electrical cord. He brutally beat him, causing numerous skull/facial fractures before throwing the man in the trunk of his own car and driving to a friend’s.  The victim, A.K., was eventually taken to an EMS station and survived after spending ten days in the hospital.
Both men were targeted for violent and vicious crimes because of who they were, because they lived openly, because they were gay.
And while the perpetrators were brought to justice and imprisoned, little has lessened the occurrence of hate crimes against LGBTs in America, not even with the passage  of the Shepard/Byrd Federal Hate Crime Prevention Act in 2009.  What it has changed is the way federal hate crime data is collected and reported, and the numbers are nearly as shocking as the crimes themselves.
FBI Hate Crime Statistics 2013, released last December, showed 20.8% of the nearly 6,000 reported hate crimes were related to sexual orientation, 1,402 in total, 60.6% of which were against gay men specifically.  Break it down and someone in the LGBT Community is victimized roughly every four hours in America.
What’s more, these statistics may dramatically underappreciate the size of the problem as they only account for reported incidents that have been classified by police as hate crimes. In an article from June 22, 2015, on vocative.com, Senior Fellow, Mark Potok, of The Southern Poverty Law Center said, based on Bureau of Justice survey statistics, “The best estimates suggest that the real number of hate crimes are up to 40 times larger than the numbers contained in the FBI reports.”
A recent article in Time magazine (Aug 17, 20015) quoted, Shannon Minter, Legal Director for the National Center for Lesbian Rights as saying, “ Most state laws don’t require the collection of such [hate crime] statistics.”  Mara Keisling, of the National Center for Transgender Equality went on to say, “A lot of jurisdictions report zeroes, even in places where we know there are hate crimes.”
According to Human Rights Campaign website, “Currently, 15 states have laws that addresses hate or bias crimes based, but do not address sexual orientation or gender identity. Only five states (Arkansas, Georgia, Indiana, South Carolina and Wyoming) don’t have laws addressing the scourge of hate crimes.”
It’s interesting to note the dichotomy of hate crime incidents vs location as well.  States like California, New York, and Massachusetts which rate as most LGBT “friendly” are also consistently in the top ten places reporting hate crimes.  By contrast, states like Mississippi report little to no incidents of hate crimes.  Has the Southern Bible Belt suddenly become a bastion of LGBT acceptance?
One possible explanation may seem counterintuitive but holds a good deal of merit.  In “friendly” states LGBTs feel free to live out and openly making them A) more visible targets B) more likely to actually report hate crimes and C) find  sympathetic law enforcement with the training to address LGBT issues.  In conservative/religious/rural areas with open animosity towards LGBTs and the equality they’ve gained, the opposite of all three is likely to be true.
Case in point…  Bromwell antique store in Cincinnati Ohio, a pro-gay business displaying the pride colors, was vandalized two days after the SCOTUS marriage equality ruling in June.  While it was the only store front damaged on the street, police are not treating it as a hate crime and at least one City Councilman questioned the claim.
2015 may not be the turning point in LGBT equality and justice under law that the Community had hoped.  Part II of “America, the Hateful” will look at what the future may hold and the challenges it brings with it.
 
 
Lean More
10 Anti-gay Myths Debunked
“Assault on Gay America”

Ram Dass interviews Thich Nhat Hanh

Two of my favorite Spiritual Teachers in dialogue with one another. Ram Das interviews Thich Nhat Hanh.





A Dialogue with Ram Dass and Eckhart Tolle


In the Face of Chaos - Full Lecture


Ram Dass on Being Love


Via Sri Prem Baba: Flor do Dia- Flor del Día - Flower of the Day 12/10/2015

“Quando puder olhar para o que é transitório e não se identificar, você terá encontrado a saída do labirinto da mente que o mantém prisioneiro de padrões negativos. Podemos resumir a busca espiritual em uma única palavra: desapego. Identificação é sinônimo de apego. Você se apega a pensamentos, sentimentos, sensações e a tudo o que passa por você, pois a mente tem essa característica de reter e segurar. O seu trabalho é deixar passar. Assim como o céu observa as nuvens passarem e não as acompanha, você observa os pensamentos sem se identificar com eles.”

“Cuando puedas mirar lo que es transitorio sin identificarte, habrás encontrado la salida del laberinto de la mente que te mantiene prisionero de patrones negativos. Podemos resumir la búsqueda espiritual en una única palabra: desapego. Identificación es sinónimo de apego. Te apegas a pensamientos, sentimientos, sensaciones y a todo lo que pasa por ti, porque la mente tiene esa característica de retener y sujetar. Tu trabajo es dejar pasar. Así como el cielo observa las nubes pasar y no las acompaña, tú observas los pensamientos sin identificarte con ellos.”

“When we are able to look at what is transitory without getting identified with it, we will have found the exit from the labyrinth of the mind that keeps you hostage to negative patterns. We could summarize the spiritual search into one word: detachment. To be identified is to be attached. We are attached to our thoughts, feelings, sensations and everything that happens to us. The mind has the tendency to hold onto these experiences and keep them alive, and our work is to let it all pass. Just as the sky observes the clouds as they pass without going with them, we observe our thoughts without becoming identified with them.”

Today's Daily Dharma: Extending Arms and Hearts

Extending Arms and Hearts
When we talk of the bodhisattva vow in Buddhism, we talk about extending our arms and our hearts outward, about reaching out to the whole world and embracing all, without exception. We talk about truly seeing the ones standing before us and loving them deeply, just as they are, with their many faults. That's the secret of the spiritual path.
—Vanessa R. Sasson, "Teaching Ground"
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Sunday, October 11, 2015

Via Sri Prem Baba: Flor do Dia- Flor del Día - Flower of the Day 11/10/2015

“Eros, ou força erótica, é uma qualidade da energia vital que se manifesta somente através da consciência humana. Ele não está presente no reino animal. Esse impulso gera uma atração que vai além do impulso biológico. Ele se assemelha à paixão, pois ele é um encantamento; um fogo que cresce e arrebata. E quando somos arrebatados por esse poder, somos capazes de fazer muitas coisas em nome dele. Eros é a coisa mais próxima do amor que o ser humano não desperto pode experimentar. Ele nos dá uma ‘amostra grátis’ do amor real, o que impulsiona nossa busca por ele, e consequentemente pela unidade.”
“AMAR E SER LIVRE - As bases para uma nova Sociedade.”

“Eros, o fuerza erótica, es una cualidad de la energía vital que se manifiesta solamente a través de la consciencia humana. No está presente en el reino animal. Este impulso genera una atracción que va más allá del impulso biológico. Éste se asemeja a la pasión, porque es un encantamiento, un fuego que crece y arrebata. Y cuando somos arrebatados por este poder, somos capaces de hacer muchas cosas en nombre de él. Eros es la cosa más cercana al amor que el ser humano no despierto puede experimentar. Nos da una ‘muestra gratis’ del amor real, lo que impulsa nuestra búsqueda por él, y consecuentemente por la unidad.”
“AMAR Y SER LIBRE - Las bases para una nueva Sociedad.”

“Eros, the erotic force, is a quality of our vital energy that only manifests through human consciousness. This force does not exist in the animal kingdom, as this energy generates an attraction that goes beyond biological instincts. Eros resembles passion, as it casts a spell on us and acts like a fire that grows and consumes us. When we are consumed by this power, we are capable of doing anything in its name. Eros is the closest thing to love that the non-awakened human can experience. It gives us a free sample of authentic love, and fuels our search for this love. In turn, it encourages us on our search for oneness.”
- Love and Be Free: The Foundations for a New Society

Today's Daily Dharma: The Secret of the Spiritual Path

The Secret of the Spiritual Path
On the spiritual path, there's nothing to get, and everything to get rid of. . . . The first thing to let go of is trying to get love, and instead to give it. That's the secret of the spiritual path.
—Ayya Khema, "What Love Is"
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Saturday, October 10, 2015

Via EQCA.org : Governor Brown Signs Four Bills Advancing Protections for LGBT Californians Posted on October 7, 2015

Sacramento – Governor Jerry Brown today signed four Equality California-sponsored bills that require state health and social service agencies to count LGBT people, provide resources to help teachers support LGBT students, and more. Thus far, the governor has signed seven out of eight bills sponsored by Equality California this legislative session. He has until October 11 to sign the remaining bill, SB 731.

“We are deeply grateful to both Governor Brown and the legislators who authored and got these bills passed,” said Rick Zbur, executive director of Equality California. “California continues to lead the nation recognizing and protecting LGBT people as fully equal members of society thanks to their leadership.”

AB 959, authored by Assemblymember David Chiu, requires state health and social services agencies to collect data on sexual orientation and gender identity whenever additional demographic data is collected. Collecting this data helps address LGBT disparities in health and well-being and determine whether government programs successfully reach those in need of care and assistance.

“I am thrilled by our governor’s actions today and overjoyed that because of AB 959 our LGBT communities will now be counted by the state for vital health and well-being services,” said Assemblymember David Chiu (D-San Francisco). “The governor has restored California’s status as a leader of LGBT civil rights. After years of being left out of statewide demographic data, LGBT individuals will now be able to share their experiences to provide much-needed data to understand and ultimately reduce long standing health disparities that have disproportionately impacted these communities.”

“We thank Governor Brown for his leadership in signing this first in the nation legislation requiring that data be collected to address the needs of LGBT people,” said Zbur. “LGBT people have been invisible to government agencies that provide social services for far too long, because LGBT people are not counted. This landmark bill will start to give California government and the LGBT community the tools necessary to develop programs to meet the healthcare and social service needs of LGBT people. Once again, California leads the nation in advancing important LGBT legislation and we thank both the Governor and Assemblymember David Chiu.”

AB 960, also authored by Chiu, updates California’s assisted reproduction laws to recognize intended parents using assisted reproduction, whether or not a medical professional is involved. EQCA co-sponsored AB 960 with the National Center for Lesbian Rights and Our Family Coalition.

“I am thrilled that the Governor has continued to stand in strong support of our LGBT couples,” said Chiu. “This long-needed fix ensures that equal legal protections are in place for our LGBT couples as they start their families.”

“Parents trying to conceive already face a considerable amount of anxiety — they don’t need to worry that their legal connection to their child is in danger,” said Zbur. “This law strengthens families by recognizing that intended parents are parents, no matter how their children are conceived.”

AB 827, authored by Assemblymember Patrick O’Donnell, provides resources and information to aid teachers in identifying and assisting LGBT students in need of support in dealing with bullying or lack of social acceptance. This bill helps address the needs of LGBT youth, who have a higher dropout rate than their straight peers and are four times more likely to attempt suicide.

“My experience as a classroom teacher has taught me one of the most important keys to academic success is a safe and inclusive learning environment,” said Assemblymember Patrick O’Donnell (D-Long Beach), who chairs the Assembly Education Committee. “With the passage of AB 827, we will ensure our LGBTQ students have access to community resources and teachers are able to foster supportive learning environments, improve academic achievement and make our schools safer.”

“Every good teacher wants to see their students thrive and learn,” said Zbur. “This new law will help educators have the resources they need to help LGBT kids who are being bullied or are facing a lack of social acceptance.”

SB 703, authored by Senator Mark Leno, requires contractors doing business with state agencies to offer transgender employees the same healthcare coverage offered to all other workers. EQCA co-sponsored SB 703 with the National Center for Lesbian Rights and Transgender Law Center.
“California law already stipulates that employers cannot deny transgender people health care and other benefits, but a loophole in state law has allowed companies that contract with the state to refuse equal health coverage,” said Senator Leno, D-San Francisco. “This bill closes that loophole. Denying equal benefits to employees at the same company based on gender identity is harmful and wrong. It also can jeopardize employee health and strain publicly-funded programs that fill in the gaps when employers don’t provide the same benefits to everyone.”

“With a third of transgender people reporting having been denied healthcare coverage, this law is an important step in improving the health of all members of the LGBT community,” said Zbur. “It also sends an important message. If you want to do business in California, you have to treat all your employees equally.”

During the 2015 legislative session, the number of bills successfully sponsored by Equality California, since its inception, reached 110.
###
Equality California is California’s largest statewide lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender civil rights organization focused on creating a fair and just society. Our mission is to achieve and maintain full and lasting equality, acceptance and social justice for all people in our diverse LGBT communities, inside and outside of California. Our mission includes advancing the health and well-being of LGBT Californians through direct healthcare service advocacy and education. Through electoral, advocacy, education and mobilization programs, we strive to create a broad and diverse alliance of LGBT people, educators, government officials, communities of color and faith, labor, business, and social justice communities to achieve our goals. www.eqca.org

Make the jump here to read the original

Via Towleroad: U.S. Ambassador to Denmark Rufus Gifford Marries Stephen DeVincent in Copenhagen


Rufus gifford marries

 U.S. Ambassador to Denmark Rufus Gifford married Dr. Stephen Devincent in a ceremony in Copenhagen today. 

Writes Gifford in an Instagram post

“Just married in Copenhagen where the first legal gay partnerships took place 26 years ago. Now heading back to celebrate with our friends and family from all over the world at our residence under the American flag. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined such a perfect day. Life is good.”

The U.S. Embassy in Denmark also celebrated the news in a Facebook post with an official photo:

“Please join us in congratulating Ambassador Gifford and Dr. Stephen DeVincent on their wedding earlier today at Copenhagen City Hall.”

President Obama named Gifford ambassador to Denmark in June 2013.

Make the jump here to read the original and full posting






Friday, October 9, 2015

Via Mentors Channel / FB:


Today's Daily Dharma: The Force of Love

The Force of Love
The extraordinary thing about the cultivation of metta [lovingkindness], as opposed to Christian ideas of love, is that it is a transpersonal force. When you concentrate on transmitting metta, it's like you're not actually doing it, you're just opening yourself up to this field of potential sympathy that exists between all sentient beings.
—Antony Gormley, "The Other Side of Appearance"
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Thursday, October 8, 2015

Today's Daily Dharma: What Should I Do Today?

What Should I Do Today?
My students ask, 'What should I do now? What should I do today?' To me, it comes down to practice, clearing your mind and opening your heart so that whatever arises, moment to moment, you handle it as best you can.
—Jan Chozen Bays, "War or Peace? Thinking Outside the Box"
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Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Via Huffington: Every LGBTQ+ Person Should Read This

Dearest Queer Person,

Chances are you don't even know that you are holy, or royal or magic, but you are. You are part of an adoptive family going back through every generation of human existence.

Long before you were born, our people were inventing incredible things. Gifted minds like the inventor of the computer Alan Turing and aviation pioneer Alberto Santos-Dumont live on in you. 

The imprint that bold and brilliant individuals like Lynn Conway and Martine Rothblatt (both transgender women alive today) made on modern technology is impossible deny as present-day engineers carry their torch in the creation of robots and microprocessors. 

More recently speaking, one of the co-founders of Facebook publicly acknowledged his identity as a gay man, as did the current CEO of Apple.

We were so often gods and goddesses over the centuries, like Hermaphrodite (the child of Hermes and Aphrodite), and Athena and Zeus, both of whom had same-sex lovers. In Japan it was said that the male couple Shinu No Hafuri and Ama No Hafuri, "introduced" homosexuality to the world. The ability to change one's gender or to claim an identity that encompasses two genders is common amongst Hindu deities. The being said to have created the Dahomey (a kingdom in the area now known as Benin) was reportedly formed when a twin brother and sister (the sun and the moon) combined into one being who might now identify as "intersex." Likewise, the aboriginal Australian rainbow serpent-gods Ungud and Angamunggi possess many characteristics that mirror present-day definitions of transgender identity. 

Our ability to transcend gender binaries and cross gender boundaries was seen as a special gift. We were honored with special cultural roles, often becoming shamans, healers and leaders in societies around the globe. The Native Americans of the Santa Barbara region called us "jewels." Our records from the Europeans who wrote of their encounters with Two-Spirit people indicates that same-sex sexual activity or non-gender binary identities were part of the culture of eighty-eight different Native American tribes, including the Apache, Aztec, Cheyenne, Crow, Maya and Navajo. 

Without written records we can't know the rest, but we know we were a part of most if not all peoples in the Americas.

Your ancestors were royalty like Queen Christina of Sweden, who not only refused to marry a man (thereby giving up her claim to the throne), but adopted a male name and set out on horseback to explore Europe alone. Her tutor once said the queen was "not at all like a female." Your heritage also includes the ruler Nzinga of the Ndongo and Matamna Kingdoms (now known as Angola), who was perceived to be biologically female but dressed as male, kept a harem of young men dressed in traditionally-female attire and was addressed as "King." Emperors like Elagalabus are part of your cultural lineage, too. He held marriage ceremonies to both male-identified and female-identified spouses, and was known to proposition men while he was heavily made-up with cosmetics. 

Caliphs of Cordoba including Hisham II, Abd-ar-Rahman III and Al-Hakam II kept male harems (sometimes in addition to female harems, sometimes in place of them). Emperor Ai of Han Dynasty China was the one whose life gives us the phrase "the passions of the cut sleeve," because when he was asleep with his beloved, Dong Xian, and awoke to leave, he cut off the sleeve of his robe rather than wake his lover.

You are descended from individuals whose mark on the arts is impossible to ignore. These influential creators include composers like Tchaikovsky, painters like Leonardo da Vinci and actors like Greta Garbo. Your forebears painted the Sistine Chapel, recorded the first blues song and won countless Oscars. They were poets, and dancers and photographers. Queer people have contributed so much to the arts that there's an entire guided tour dedicated just to these artists at New York's Museum of Modern Art.

You have the blood of great warriors, like the Amazons, those female-bodied people who took on roles of protection and had scarce time or interest between their brave acts to cater to the needs of men. And your heart beats as bravely as the men of the Sacred Band of Thebes, a group of 150 male-male couples who, in the 4th century B.C.E., were known to be especially powerful fighters because each man fought as though he was fighting for the life of his lover (which he was). But your heritage also includes peacemakers, like Bayard Rustin, a non-violent gay architect of the Black civil rights movement in the U.S.

We redefined words like bear, butch, otter, queen and femme, and created new terms like drag queen, twink and genderqueer. But just because the words like homosexual, bisexual, transgender, intersex and asexual, have been created in the relatively recent past doesn't mean they are anything new. 

Before we started using today's terms, we were Winkte to the Ogala, A-go-kwe to the Chippewa, Ko'thlama to the Zuni, Machi to the Mapuchi, Tsecats to the Manghabei, Omasenge to the Ambo and Achnutschik to the Konyaga across the continents. While none of these terms identically mirror their more modern counterparts, all refer to some aspect of, or identity related to, same-gender love, same-sex sex or crossing genders.

You are normal. You are not a creation of the modern age. Your identity is not a "trend" or a "fad." Almost every country has a recorded history of people whose identities and behaviors bear close resemblance to what we'd today call bisexuality, homosexuality, transgender identity, intersexuality, asexuality and more. Remember: the way Western culture today has constructed gender and sexuality is not the way it's always been. Many cultures from Papua New Guinea to Peru accepted male-male sex as a part of ritual or routine; some of these societies believed that the transmission of semen from one man to another would make the recipient stronger. In the past, we often didn't need certain words for the same-sex attracted, those of non-binary gender and others who did not conform to cultural expectations of their biological sex or perceived gender because they were not as unusual as we might today assume they were.

Being so unique and powerful has sometimes made others afraid of us. They arrested and tortured and murdered us. We are still executed by governments and individuals today in societies where we were once accepted us as important and equal members of society. They now tell us "homosexuality is un-African" and "there are no homosexuals in Iran." You, and we, know that these defensive comments are not true--but they still hurt. So, when others gave us names like queer and dyke, we reclaimed them. 

When they said we were recruiting children, we said "I'm here to recruit you!" When they put pink and black triangles on our uniforms in the concentration camps, we made them pride symbols.

Those who challenge our unapologetic presence in today's cultures, who try to deprive us of our rights, who make us targets of violence, remain ignorant of the fact that they, not us, are the historical anomaly. For much of recorded history, persecuting individuals who transgressed their culture's norms of gender and sexuality was frowned upon at worst and unheard of at best. Today, the people who continue to harass us attempt to justify their cruel campaigns by claiming that they are defending "traditional" values. But nothing could be further from the truth. 

But now you know they are wrong. Just imagine the world without that first computer or the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, or a huge part of the music you've ever heard from classical Appalachian Spring to classic YMCA (I mean, we've held titles from the "Mother of Blues" to the "King of Latin Pop!"). How much less colorful would the world be without us? I'm grateful that you're here to help carry on our traditions. 

So, happy LGBT History Month! I hope to celebrate with you here at Quist. This list of LGBTQ history online resources is a good place to start in exploring more specifics about this heritage.
Lesbianamente*,
Sarah Prager


*Actually a term as a way someone signed a letter for a lesbian organization in Mexico decades ago!
This piece was inspired in part by facts and sentiments from Another Mother Tongue by Judy Grahn (published 1984). Ritualized Homosexuality in Melanesia edited by Gilbert H. Herdt (published 1993) is also referenced. Many of the referenced facts are cited so many places it has become common knowledge. Christianne Gadd contributed significantly to this piece. This post originally appeared in The Advocate.