Shawn Collins: Challenging Bible Thumpers

I am not a Bible scholar in any way shape or form, nor am I interested in being one, but as any GLBT person of late knows, the Fundies do seem to feel that we need some knowledge of the good book... in so doing I ran across htese questions on Shawn Collin's site:

You and your ilk who "selectively" quote the Bible are disgraceful and disgusting. There is not one word from Jesus' mouth in the Bible concerning gay people or homosexuality. He did, however, reach out to include those who were considered "outcasts" in Jewish society at that time, and by this example showed all of us how we are to conduct our lives in a way pleasing to Him. Remember the tax collectors, the gentiles, the Samaritan Woman, the Magdalene?

I do not think that your brand of outreach would be pleasing to Him at all. I will, however, leave that to Him when you meet him face-to-face.

However, since you appear to be such a biblical scholar, I would like to pose the following questions to you, and eagerly await your response:

If I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Leviticus 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?

I would like to sell my niece into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? Should I accept cash only, or is a credit card transaction acceptable?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Leviticus 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Leviticus 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? How should I do this exactly? Poison, gun, knife?

I feel that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Leviticus 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality, but I'm not exactly sure. Can you give me the final word on this?

Leviticus 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
have a defect in my sight. I wear glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

There are other adminishments. For instance, against eating pork. Do you consider these before dining at Super Smokers? Or the mixing of textiles. Have you seriously never worn both cotton and polyester at the same time?

Apparently you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal.

Also, since you are such a fountain of biblical wisdom, perhaps you can contact the White House and offer your assistance to the president who likes to pose as one of your brethren. In a campaign appearance in late spring, he announced that his favorite Bible verse was John 16:3.

Of course, his speech writer meant John 3:16, but nobody in the Bush camp was familiar enough with scripture to catch the error. Not even the president who dares to pose as a pious, religious man. Do you know what John 16:3 says?

John 16:3 says; "And they will do this because they have not known the Father nor Me".

The Holy Spirit works in strange ways, does she not?

In closing, the Bible contains six (6) direct admonishments to homosexuals, and 326 (!) to heterosexuals. Now, I’m sure that God loves heterosexuals too, but don't you think that it’s obvious that God feels that they need more supervision?

Peace to you and yours!