A personal blog by a graying (mostly Anglo with light African-American roots) gay left leaning liberal progressive married college-educated Buddhist Baha'i BBC/NPR-listening Professor Emeritus now following the Dharma in Minas Gerais, Brasil.
When despair creeps up on us, or hits like a truck, it can feel overwhelming. That’s because despair means a lack of hope. Even in our darkest grief, if we can find hope, we can find comfort; without hope, breaking free and moving forward may feel impossible.
Attuning to the body and practicing mindfulness or another form of meditation can help stir hope we might not believe is there. So too can poetry, art, spending time with loved ones, or doing anything that creates space, shifts perspectives, and cultivates calm. Orientation is crucial, journalist and former Tricycle executive editor Emma Varvaloucas reminded us in a recent podcast episode. Possibility is always there—even in the midst of pain and confusion. We must remain open to all of it.
As poet Jane Hirshfield told Tricycle’s editor-in-chief James Shaheen in a podcast episode last year, paraphrasing a thousand-year-old poem in the collection The Ink Dark Moon, “If you live in a house which is impermeable to the cold winds and storms and difficulties of this world, you will also wall yourself off from the moonlight.”
This week’s Three Teachings features three podcast interviews on dealing with despair.
Writer and activist Rebecca Solnit discusses the power of hope in times of catastrophe, the dangers of hyperindividualism, and why she believes beauty is an essential piece of activist work.
Poet Jane Hirshfield discusses how poetry can communicate deep truths we might have trouble understanding in a more conventional presentation. She also discusses the balance of abiding in uncertainty and trust, and how to sit with uncomfortable emotions and truths.
I am sad and happy at the same moment. I feel that makes my moment to moment life so rich. It’s as if I’m having everything every moment. All of it. That’s why I’m not collecting later or remembering before, because this is enough. This has got all of the poignancy. There’s a richness in the moment to moment existence.
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Harsh speech is unhealthy. Refraining from harsh speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning harsh speech, one refrains from harsh speech. One speaks words that are gentle, pleasing to the ear, and affectionate, words that go to the heart, are courteous, and are agreeable to many. (DN 1) One practices thus: “Others may speak harshly, but I shall abstain from harsh speech.” (MN 8)
Reflection
The human capacity for speech is so nuanced and our languages are so varied that we always have a choice about how we express ourselves. Whatever you are about to say harshly, you can say gently instead. Whatever comes to mind as a stinging riposte can be toned down to be less hurtful. Even a cruel remark can be turned around entirely, and you can say something agreeable instead. It’s worth trying to do this as a practice.
Daily Practice
Take care how you speak. Choose your words wisely and be wary of what you might blurt out without awareness. Right speech is mindful speech. Notice whether or not your words are gentle, spoken with an attitude of affection, and “go to the heart.” Even when others speak harshly to you, commit to being a person who refrains from harsh speech at every opportunity.
Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Mental Action One week from today: Refraining from Frivolous Speech
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