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Via Dhamma Wheel | Right Speech: Refraining from Harsh Speech

 

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RIGHT SPEECH Refraining from Harsh Speech Harsh speech is unhealthy. Refraining from harsh speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning harsh speech, one refrains from harsh speech. One speaks words that are gentle, pleasing to the ear, and affectionate, words that go to the heart, are courteous, and are agreeable to many. (DN 1) One practices thus: "Others may speak harshly, but I shall abstain from harsh speech." (MN 8) When one says, "All those engaged in the pursuit of self-mortification have entered upon the wrong way," one thus disparages some. But when one says instead, "The pursuit of self-mortification is a state beset by suffering, and it is the wrong way," then one is not disparaging anyone but is simply stating the truth. (MN 139)

Reflection Certain words or phrases that appear harsh are simply part of the natural vocabulary of different social groups, and are not necessarily spoken harshly. But notice how certain ways of speaking are accompanied by a harsher mental state. Certain words bring with them a particular emotional tone, and this draws our mind into harsher places than necessary. Learning to see and avoid this can be helpful. Daily Practice In the example given in this passage, notice the difference between criticizing a person and criticizing the person’s behavior. When you disparage someone, you invite a defensive measure such as a counterattack; when you disparage their actions, you give the person room to distance themselves from their behavior. Try this for yourself. See if you can develop the habit of criticizing actions instead of people. It is not as harsh.  Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Mental Action One week from today: Refraining from Frivolous Speech Share your thoughts and join the conversation on social media #DhammaWheel Questions? Visit the Dhamma Wheel orientation page.

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Via Daily Dharma: Be Kind to Yourself

 

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Be Kind to Yourself Your self-talk is a reflection of your mind. George Mumford, “Self-Talk” CLICK HERE TO READ THE ARTICLE

The Gift of Fearlessness By Thich Nhat Hanh By cultivating nonfear and nonattachment, we can help ourselves and others face death with peace. Read more » Clarifying Dependent Origination With Bhante Henepola Gunaratana A brand new Dharma Talk is available now! Watch an illuminating teaching from Sri Lankan Theravada monk Bhante Henepola Gunaratana on one of the Buddha’s most essential yet lesser-discussed insights into the nature of suffering and liberation. Watch now »

Via Ram Dass - Love Serve Remember Foundation \\ Words of Wisdom - March 5, 2025 💠

I've often been struck by the poignancy of meeting old people of great wealth and power, and seeing how frightened they are of losing what they have. The greater their clinging, the greater their pain, realizing how little use the accoutrements of power and worldly position are in helping them age with wisdom and peace. In truth, the Ego's attachment to power of any kind is linked inextricably to the fear of losing that power, and thus becomes a source of suffering. There is a kind of power that does not give rise to fear, however. It is spiritual power, the power of the enlightened mind. As we begin to emphasize Soul power over worldly power, our perception of the alterations brought on by aging changes proportionately.

Via Urban Confessional \\ Listening is love. And love is listening.

 

Listening is love. And love is listening. It’s really all you need to know about listening. But, here’s a few other gentle reminders… There is magic that happens when we make ourselves available to others. An open heart is a loving heart. And a loving heart is a listening heart. If we want to truly listen and be with someone, we must be with them not only in their strengths, joys, and successes, but also in their weaknesses, fears, and insecurities. Listening is the quickest path to loving, and love alleviates all risk. Listen with your heart, listen to their heart, and discover that there is less distance between hearts than between minds. We hope you’ll take some time to love others by practicing Free Listening this month. Or as we like to call it Free With-ing.

Via Dhamma Wheel | Right Intention: Cultivating Appreciative Joy

 

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RIGHT INTENTION Cultivating Appreciative Joy Whatever you intend, whatever you plan, and whatever you have a tendency toward, that will become the basis upon which your mind is established. (SN 12.40) Develop meditation on appreciative joy, for when you develop meditation on appreciative joy, any discontent will be abandoned. (MN 62)  The manifestation of appreciative joy is elimination of discontent. (Vm 9.95)

Reflection It turns out that feeling good about the success or well-being of other people is good for you. The natural inclination of the self is toward selfishness, which is aimed at getting what we want and need. This is a useful function up to a point, but if we are ever to evolve beyond it, we need to reverse the process and cultivate care and concern for others. Wishing them well and celebrating their good fortune is a good place to start. Daily Practice Keep on the lookout today for what happens to other people and wish them well when you see or hear of someone having good fortune. This is actually an excellent remedy for your own discontent. If you are not happy about your lot in life, you can immediately lift yourself into a better state by taking joy in the good fortune of others. Rather than resent their success you can use it to help raise your own mood. Tomorrow: Refraining from Harsh Speech One week from today: Cultivating Equanimity Share your thoughts and join the conversation on social media #DhammaWheel Questions? Visit the Dhamma Wheel orientation page.

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