Via Dhamma Wheel | Right Speech: Refraining from Harsh Speech

 

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RIGHT SPEECH Refraining from Harsh Speech Harsh speech is unhealthy. Refraining from harsh speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning harsh speech, one refrains from harsh speech. One speaks words that are gentle, pleasing to the ear, and affectionate, words that go to the heart, are courteous, and are agreeable to many. (DN 1) One practices thus: "Others may speak harshly, but I shall abstain from harsh speech." (MN 8) A person may be extremely kind, extremely gentle, extremely peaceful, so long as disagreeable courses of speech do not touch them. But it is when disagreeable courses of speech touch them that it can be understood whether that person is really kind, gentle, and peaceful. (MN 21)

Reflection Learning to speak words that are "gentle, pleasing to the ear, and affectionate" is about taking care that the emotion with which they are uttered is not laced with hatred or ill will. It does not mean that we should refrain from stating what is true, only that we take care with what attitude we deliver it. Even very hard truths can be uttered with kindness rather than with an intention to cause harm. Speaking harshly is unhealthy for the speaker as well as for the hearer. Daily Practice Pay careful attention to your own patterns of speech and especially be on the lookout for nastiness or an intention to harm. Consider your words before you speak. And when you catch yourself speaking harshly, reflect on whether the same thing might have been said in a more skillful manner. Harsh speech brings out the worst in others. But it can be very challenging to refrain from hurtful speech, even when the other person has provoked it.  Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Mental Action One week from today: Refraining from Frivolous Speech Share your thoughts and join the conversation on social media #DhammaWheel Questions? Visit the Dhamma Wheel orientation page.

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