Via FB

 

Via FB

 

Via FB

 

Via JMG: Gay Parents Raising Kids: How Will They Fare?

 

Gay Parents Raising Kids: How Will They Fare?

Throughout many years of working with families, I’ve studied the lives of gay parents raising sons and daughters. In general, gay parents tend to be more motivated, more committed, and more thoughtful parents than heterosexual couples. That’s because they usually have to work very hard, and plan very far in advance, to become parents, and so rarely do so by accident.

The children, meanwhile, show few differences in achievement. They perform as well in school, at sports, and in extra-curriculars as peers with heterosexual parents. At the same time, they are more self-aware, more adept at communicating their feelings, and exhibit more empathy for people different from themselves. They learn early how to negotiate the outside environment, gauge other people’s motives, and assess how open they dare to be in specific situations. They are strong. In my work, I routinely saw how, with enough support from their families, children of gay parents developed skills at thinking independently and standing up for what they believed in. This distinguishes them from many children with straight parents.

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/our-gender-ourselves/201205/gay-parents-raising-kids-how-will-they-fare

 

Via Dhamma Wheel | Right Speech: Refraining from Frivolous Speech

 

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RIGHT SPEECH Refraining from Frivolous Speech Frivolous speech is unhealthy. Refraining from frivolous speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning frivolous speech, one refrains from frivolous speech. One speaks at the right time, speaks only what is fact, and speaks about what is good. One speaks what is worthy of being overheard, words that are reasonable, moderate, and beneficial. (DN 1) One practices thus: “Others may speak frivolously, but I shall abstain from frivolous speech.” (MN 8) A person should examine things in such a way that while examining them, their consciousness is not distracted and scattered externally, and not clinging, one does not become agitated. Then there is no origination of suffering (MN 138)

Reflection This passage seems written particularly for the 21st century, since so much of what we encounter every day seems designed to distract our consciousness and scatter it externally. Such distraction and scattering is in fact the very origin of suffering, because it leads us to become agitated and thereby to cling to one outcome or another. The whole process never gets started if we learn how to avoid or resist the distractions. Daily Practice Much of what distracts us and scatters our consciousness externally is the propensity for frivolous speech, both in the world around us and within ourselves. Is it asking too much to practice abstaining from unnecessary or unworthy speech at least once in a while? These days, learning to steer away from distraction and the scattering of our minds is a practice in itself, and we are likely to become less agitated if we are able to do it well. Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Social Action One week from today: Refraining from False Speech Share your thoughts and join the conversation on social media #DhammaWheel Questions? Visit the Dhamma Wheel orientation page.

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Via Daily Dharma: Just Accept

 

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Just Accept When something is difficult or not working out for you, just accept it and it will get easier. Let come, let go. Don’t follow your thoughts, your stories, your narratives. Whether thoughts are happy or sad, good or bad, they all have the same compelling repetition. Just watch them. His Eminence the Seventh Dzogchen Rinpoche, “Let Come, Let Go” CLICK HERE TO READ THE FULL ARTICLE Forward today's wisdom to a friend »

Access to Absorption By Shaila Catherine A Theravada teacher on achieving the prerequisite mental state for deeper meditation. Read more »

Via White Crane Institute // This Day in Gay History: PEDRO ALMODOVAR

 

 

This Day in Gay History

September 25

Born

Almodovar

1949 -

PEDRO ALMODOVAR, Spanish filmmaker, was born; Almodóvar is the most successful and internationally known Spanish filmmaker of his generation. His films, marked by complex narratives, and quirky stylings, employ the codes of melodrama and use elements of pop culture, popular songs, irreverent humor, strong colors and glossy décor. He never judges his character's actions, whatever they do, but he presents them as they are in all their complexity. Desire, passion, family and identity are the director's favorite themes. Almodóvar is openly – dare we say brilliantly? -- Gay and he has incorporated elements of underground and gay culture into mainstream forms with wide crossover appeal, redefining perceptions of Spanish cinema and Spain in the process. At one time, it is believed, he owned the film rights to Tom Spanbauer’s mystical book, The Man Who Fell In Love With the Moon (though we now believe Gus Van Sant has these rights.)

Around 1974, Almodóvar began making his first short films on a Super-8 camera. By the end of the 1970s they were shown in Madrid’s night circuit and in Barcelona  These shorts had overtly sexual narratives and no soundtrack: Dos putas, o, Historia de amor que termina en boda (Two Whores, or, A Love Story that Ends in Marriage); La caída de Sodoma (The Fall of Sodom); Homenaje (Homage); La estrella (The Star); Sexo Va: Sexo viene (Sex Comes and Goes) (Super-8); Complementos (shorts 16mm).

“I showed them in bars, at parties… I could not add a soundtrack because it was very difficult. The magnetic strip was very poor, very thin. I remember that I became very famous in Madrid because, as the films had no sound, I took a cassette with music while I personally did the voices of all the characters, songs and dialogues.” After four years of working with shorts in Super-8 format, in 1978 Almodóvar made his first Super-8, full-length film: Folle, folle, fólleme, Tim (Fuck Me, Fuck Me, Fuck Me, Tim), a magazine style melodrama. In addition, he made his first 16 mm short, Salome. This was his first contact with the professional world of cinema. The film's stars, Carmen Maura and Felix Rotaeta, encouraged him to make his first feature film in 16mm and helped him raise the money to finance what would be Pepi Luc: Bom y otras cgicas del monton.

Almodóvar's subsequent films deepened his exploration of sexual desire and the sometimes brutal laws governing it. Matador is a dark, complex story that centers on the relationship between a former bullfighter and a murderous female lawyer, both of whom can only experience sexual fulfillment in conjunction with killing. The film offered up desire as a bridge between sexual attraction and death.

Almodóvar solidified his creative independence when he started the production company El Deseo, together with his brother Agustín, who has also had several cameo roles in his films. From 1986 on, Pedro Almodóvar has produced his own films.

The first movie that came out from El Deseo was the aptly named Law of Desire (La Ley del Deseo). The film has an operatically tragic plot line and is one of Almodóvar’s richest and most disturbing movies. The narrative follows three main characters: a Gay film director who embarks on a new project; his sister, an actress who used to be his brother (played by Carmen Maura), and a repressed murderously obsessive stalker (played by Antonio Banderas).

The film presents a gay love triangle and drew away from most representations of gay men in films. These characters are neither coming out nor confront sexual guilt or homophobia; they are already liberated, like the homosexuals in Fassbinder’s films. Almodóvar said about Law of Desire: "It's the key film in my life and career. It deals with my vision of desire, something that's both very hard and very human. By this I mean the absolute necessity of being desired and the fact that in the interplay of desires it's rare that two desires meet and correspond."

Almodóvar's films rely heavily on the capacity of his actors to pull through difficult roles into a complex narrative. In Law of Desire Carmen Maura plays the role of Tina, a woman who used to be a man. Almodóvar explains: "Carmen is required to imitate a woman, to savor the imitation, to be conscious of the kitsch part that there is in the imitation, completely renouncing parody, but not humor".

Elements from Law of Desire grew into the basis for two later films: Carmen Maura appears in a stage production of Cocteau’s The Human Voice, which inspired Almodóvar’s next film, Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown; and Tina's confrontation scene with an abusive priest formed a partial genesis for Bad Education.

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Gay Wisdom for Daily Living from White Crane Institute

"With the increasing commodification of gay news, views, and culture by powerful corporate interests, having a strong independent voice in our community is all the more important. White Crane is one of the last brave standouts in this bland new world... a triumph over the looming mediocrity of the mainstream Gay world." - Mark Thompson

Exploring Gay Wisdom & Culture since 1989!
www.whitecraneinstitute.org

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Via Ram Dass - Love Serve Remember Foundation // Words of Wisdom - September 25, 2024 💌

 

"Are all methods to be avoided? It doesn't seem so. But is does seem useful to see them in perspective. Methods are the ship crossing the ocean of existence. If you're halfway across the ocean it's a little silly to decide methods are a bummer if you don't know how to swim, but once you get to the far shore it would be silly to keep carrying your boat, for there is no more water.

The game seems very simple. Methods are not the thing itself, methods are traps, and you use methods and you entrap yourself in order to burn out the things in you which keep you from being free. Ultimately the methods spew you out at the other end and the method disintegrates into nothingness. Every method. The guru, chanting, study, meditation, practices, all of it. For the end result is nothing special."

- Ram Dass -

 
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Via Dhamma Wheel | Right Intention: Cultivating Equanimity

 

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RIGHT INTENTION Cultivating Equanimity Whatever you intend, whatever you plan, and whatever you have a tendency toward, that will become the basis on which your mind is established. (SN 12.40) Develop meditation on equanimity, for when you develop meditation on equanimity, all aversion is abandoned. (MN 62)  Equanimity is like a mother with a son who is busy with his own affairs, for she is not worried about what he does. (Vm 9.108) When a person, touching a sensation with the body, is not attached to pleasing sensations and not repelled by unpleasing sensations, they have established mindfulness and dwell with an unlimited mind. For a person whose mindfulness is developed and practiced, the body does not struggle to reach pleasing sensations, and unpleasing sensations are not considered repulsive. (SN 35.274)

Reflection The image of a mother with a grown son is invoked to describe the quality of mind called equanimity, for we understand that she still loves and cares deeply for her son but is not invested in the superficial details of his daily activities. You can stay attentive, intimate, and deeply engaged with your affairs without being caught up in and afflicted by them. The image is one of a person who is at ease in their affairs without struggling. Daily Practice In working with physical sensations, as we do when we practice mindfulness of the body, the idea is to be fully aware of sensations without being attached to or repelled by them. Notice that when mindful the mind is said to be unlimited, and when it lacks mindfulness it is considered to be limited. Equanimity, the active ingredient in mindfulness, is the tool that is used to unbind the mind and set it free from aversion. Tomorrow: Refraining from Frivolous Speech One week from today: Cultivating Lovingkindness Share your thoughts and join the conversation on social media #DhammaWheel Questions? Visit the Dhamma Wheel orientation page.

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Via Daily Dharma: Death Is the Setting Sun

 

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Death Is the Setting Sun Once you see that life is like the rising and setting of the sun, you will not be afraid of dying; it is like the setting of the sun. Phra Ajahn Suchart Abhijāto, “Meet a Teacher: Phra Ajahn Suchart Abhijāto” CLICK HERE TO READ THE FULL ARTICLE Forward today's wisdom to a friend »

Dharma King By Abhishek Singh Amar An examination of Ashoka’s rule through a close reading of his enduring inscriptions. Read more »