Re-thinking Same-Sex Attraction: And the General Principles of How to Overcome It
By Lynne Schreiber
Lynne Schreiber • Rethinking Same‐Sex Attraction and General Principles of How to Overcome It
The fact that some people experience same‐sex attraction as unwanted and take measures to overcome it
remains somewhat hidden from society, including much of the mental health profession. Shedding light
on this process may be encouraging news to those who struggle with such attraction. Understanding the
complex factors that commonly shape same‐sex attraction unlocks the possibility to conceptualize a new
framework for growth.
By Lynne Schreiber
Lynne Schreiber • Rethinking Same‐Sex Attraction and General Principles of How to Overcome It
The fact that some people experience same‐sex attraction as unwanted and take measures to overcome it
remains somewhat hidden from society, including much of the mental health profession. Shedding light
on this process may be encouraging news to those who struggle with such attraction. Understanding the
complex factors that commonly shape same‐sex attraction unlocks the possibility to conceptualize a new
framework for growth.
LYNNE SCHREIBER’s expertise comes not through academic study or professional years of service, but
through 20 years of struggle and spiritual transformation. The presenter has also gained much learning
through extensive study of the Bahá’í guidance, Christian materials and cutting edge research on
overcoming same sex attractions.
General Principles of How to Overcome Same-Sex Attraction
1.Education & Independent Investigation of Truth
2.Support
3.Healing & Growth through Relationships
4.Personal & Spiritual Development
- "To the question of alteration of homosexual bents, much study must be given, and doubtless in the future clear principles of prevention and treatment will emerge.“ (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, 22 March 1987)
- “God has given man the eye of investigation by which he may see and recognize truth. He has endowed man with ears that he may hear the message of reality and conferred upon him the gift of reason by which he may discover things for himself. ... Man is not intended to see through the eyes of another, hear through another's ears nor comprehend with another's brain. ... Therefore depend upon your own reason and judgment and adhere to the outcome of your own investigation; otherwise you will be utterly submerged in the sea of ignorance and deprived of all the bounties of God.” (Abdu'l-Baha, Foundations of World Unity, p. 75)
- “One could have concluded that homosexuals could well establish stable relationships with one another for mutual support, … This, indeed, is the conclusion that some churches and governments have come to. But Bahá’u’lláh, having divine knowledge of human nature, shows that such a relationship is not a permissible or beneficial solution to a homosexual’s condition.” (Letters of The Universal House of Justice, 5 June 1993, Homosexuality, p. 11)
- [Homosexuality]… “is regarded by the Faith as a distortion of true human nature, as a problem to be overcome..." (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to a National Spiritual Assembly, 11 September 1995)
- 5-"Whether deficiencies are inborn or are acquired, our purpose in this life is to overcome them..." (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to a National Spiritual Assembly, 11 September 1995)
- “To be afflicted this way is a great burden to a conscientious soul. But through the advice and help of doctors, through strong and determined effort, and through prayer, a soul can overcome this handicap.” (From a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer, 26 March 1950)
- 7- “[T]he Faith does not recognize homosexuality as a “natural” or permanent phenomenon. Rather, it sees this as an aberration subject to treatment…” (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, 22 March 1987)
- 8-"The view that homosexuality is a condition that is not amenable to change is to be questioned by Bahá’ís. …The statistics which indicate that homosexuality is incurable are undoubtedly distorted by the fact that many of those who overcome the problem never speak about it in public, and others solve their problems without even consulting professional counsellors." (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to a National Spiritual Assembly, 11 September 1995
- “Observe My commandments, for the love of My beauty.“ (Baha'u'llah, The Kitab-i-Aqdas, p. 20)
- “Psychiatric treatment in general is no doubt an important contribution to medicine, but we must believe it is still a growing rather than a perfected science. As Bahá'u'lláh has urged us to avail ourselves of the help of good physicians Bahá'ís are certainly not only free to turn to psychiatry for assistance but should, when advisable, do so. This does not mean psychiatrists are always wise or always right,…” (From a letter written on behalf of the Guardian to the National Spiritual Assembly of the British Isles, June 15, 1950, Compilations, Lights of Guidance, p. 284)“Turn to your Bahá’í brothers and sisters, who are living with you in the kingdom. Indeed, the believers have not yet fully learned to draw on each other’s love for strength and consolation in time of need.” (Letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi, dated May 8, 1942, in Directives of the Guardian, pp. 40-41, #109)
- “As for the responsibility of Assemblies and of individual Bahá’ís, certainly all are called upon to be understanding, supportive and helpful to any individual who carries the burden of homosexuality.” (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, 22 March 1987)
- “If, therefore, a homosexual cannot overcome his or her condition to the extent of being able to have a heterosexual marriage, he or she must remain single, and abstain from sexual relations.” (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to a National Spiritual Assembly, 11 September 1995)
- 14-“There are, of course, many kinds and degrees of homosexuality, and overcoming extreme conditions is sure to be more difficult than overcoming others.” (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to a National Spiritual Assembly, 11 September 1995)
- Any individual so afflicted must, through prayer, and any other means, seek to overcome this handicap.” (From a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to a National Spiritual Assembly, 6 October 1956)
- “The Universal House of Justice will pray that, armed with the guidance contained in this letter, the National Spiritual Assembly will act with love, sensitivity and firmness to assist the believers both to gain a deeper understanding of their true and ennobling purpose in life and to make a strong and determined effort to overcome every handicap to their spiritual development” (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to a National Spiritual Assembly, 11 September 1995)
- “By responding to the Message of the Manifestation of God we learn how we should live and draw on the spiritual strength which comes with it. Through studying the Word of God and training ourselves to follow His commandments, we rise to the full stature that He has designed for us.” (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual, 17 September 1993)
- "If others hurl their darts against you, offer them milk and honey in return; if they poison your lives, sweeten their souls; if they injure you, teach them how to be comforted; if they inflict a wound upon you, be a balm to their sores; if they sting you, hold to their lips a refreshing cup.” (Abdu'l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of Abdu'l-Baha, p. 24)
- “Through sincere and sustained effort, energized by faith in the validity of the Divine Message, and combined with patience with oneself and the loving support of the Bahá’í community, individuals are able to effect a change in their behaviour; as a consequence of this effort they partake of spiritual benefits which liberate them and which bestow a true happiness beyond description.” (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual, 3 July 1990)
Resources
Heart of Female Same-sex Attraction, Janelle Hallman
Restoring Sexual Identity: Hope for Women Who Struggle with Same-sex Attraction, Anne Paulk
Emotional Dependency, Lori Rentzel
Coming out of Homosexuality – A New Freedom for Men and Women, Bob Davies & Lori Rentzel
Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality: A New Clinical Approach, Joseph Nicolosi
Growth into Manhood, Alan Medinger
Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Additions, Patrick Carnes
When Homosexuality Hits Home, Joe Dallas
Someone I Love is Gay, Anita Worthen & Bob Davies
www.peoplecanchange.com/ (Support for men who seek to grow, heal and change regarding same-sex attraction.)
Understanding the roots of lesbianism, Free audio format, www.laughterfrompurity.com
Development of male homosexuality, Free audio format, www.laughterfrompurity.com
Bahá’í Resources (dealing with trauma and spiritual development)
It is Not Your Fault, Patricia Romano McGraw
Drawing Nigh to Baha’u’llah, Adib Taherzadeh (Audio series, June 16-17, 1984 Alaska Summer School)
References
American Psychological Association (2009). Report of the American Psychological Association Task Force on Appropriate Therapeutic Responses to Sexual Orientation.
Karten, E. Y., & Wade, J. C. (2010). Sexual orientation change efforts in men: A client perspective. The Journal of Men's Studies, 18, 84-102.
Moberly, Elizabeth (1983). Homosexuality: A New Christian Ethic.
Throckmorton, Warren (1998) Attempts to Modify Sexual Orientation: A Review of Outcome Literature and Ethical Issues, Journal of Mental Health Counseling, October, volume 20, pages 283-304.
Throckmorton, Warren & Yarhouse, Mark A. (2006). Sexual Identity Therapy: Practice framework for managing sexual identity conflicts.
Whitehead, Neil & Blair, My Genes Made Me Do It! A Scientific Look at Sexual Orientation.
I think Ms. Lynne Schreiber should watch the video, "Former Ex-Gay Leaders Apologize" on YouTube. It might reach through to her very confused heart...Oh yeah, one of the Ex-Gay Leaders in the video who strongly Apologizes for all the years of pain and torment he's caused the GLBT community is one of the founders of Exodus International one of the main groups Ms. Schreiber is getting her "homosexuality can be cured", material from!
ReplyDeleteBG
Ms Schreibner check this out:
ReplyDeletehttp://revolked2.blogspot.com/2010/08/exodus-founders-come-out.html
Lynne wrote:
ReplyDelete"LYNNE SCHREIBER’s expertise comes not through academic study or professional years of service, but through 20 years of struggle and spiritual transformation."
Surely a more punchy title for Lynne's talk could have been:
"I've been struggling against my homosexuality for 20 years -- and so can you!"
So, we have two views. Either God made some people normal and some others bad, or all of us are good and worthy (wait - this second one seems to jibe with the Teachings!)
ReplyDeleteA little sensible reflection simply leads us to conclude that Shoghi Effendi and his helpers were wrong (probably for a number of reasons, but mainly ignorance) and that we have to pull our heads out (thereby setting a good example for people who are blindly pushing a fundamentalist party line, such as the House of anything-but-Justice) and stop perpetrating harmful ideas!
Amado
This absolutely sickens me that this pamphlet was even allowed to be passed out at an Association for Baha'i Studies conference. This mentality is anything but "study." It's the same conservative drivel you find within the Christian Right in the United States. Yuck.
ReplyDeleteShoghi Effendi could have been wrong about scientific and medical aspects of homosexuality but in terms of his interpretation of the Holy Writ to the effect that homosexual behavior is prohibited there, that would be well within the realm of his infallibility.
ReplyDeleteIt isn't a pamphlet. It's apparently a presentation given by a Baha'i who may have passed something out to those who attended her presentation. What might be questioned is whether the presentation itself represented the kind of original scholarship which out to be presented at the ABS. Personally, I can't see any original research here whatsoever, and for that reason I would have rejected it. However, those making these decisions only see the abstract and it might not have been clear from that there was nothing original here.
ReplyDeleteThen I guess Susan, you must agree that we need to spread far and wide these beautifl quotes from the secretaries of Shoghi Effendi and from the Universal House of Justice. It seems to me that they are now considered official Bahai scripture, correct? I just want to make sure before I start posting on Facebook the quotes that Ms. Schreiber used in her presentation. I want to share the good news of the Word of God with my friends. I've been teaching the other beautiful quotes like "The Earth is but one country..." "The best beloved of all things in My sight is Justice..." etc. But I had no idea we needed to teach also "Homosexuality is considered by the Faith a distortion of true human nature and needs to be overcome..." Wow, I have a lot of catching up to do in teaching the Faith to my friends!
ReplyDeleteBtw Susan. Shoghi Effendi didn't interpret the Holy Writ for ALL Bahais for the rest of Bahai history. The most you can claim is that his secretary answered a specific question regarding one or two followers using the pseudo science of their day. That's it! Nice try, but you haven't proven that the Bahai Faith forbids homosexuality. The Bahai Faith prescribes sexual relations within the foundation of family and marriage. Marriage in it's strictest sense (which you advocate as the only way for Bahais) is between one man and one woman. But the Bahai Faith allows for polygamy. In the same way, the Bahai Faith can allow for same-sex marriage. Currently, the Bahai community would rather give voice to people like Ms. Schreiber than to those in the community who advocate greater acceptance of gays inside the Bahai community.
ReplyDeleteOMG. I AM SO PISSED OFF NOW. One of the groups this woman references is the website: peoplecanchange.com
ReplyDeleteOn this website it states:
"But we discovered that we could address the root causes of the conflict – which wasn’t really about sex at all. Rather, the longing for male love was, for us at least, really a deep, unmet need from childhood and youth:
· A longing for a father’s affirmation, perhaps. Or a mentor’s guidance. A peer group’s inclusion. Or our own internal sense of just being “one of the guys.”
What Bull Shit! I've ALWAYS been one of the guys. My best friends in high school were a group of guys (all straight except me). They are still my friends even after coming out to them. I had the love of my father and mother both. I had mentors- including male Bahai school teachers. What the hell is wrong with you people? Just accept the fact that some of us are attracted to the male body, the majority to the female and a small percentage to both. No matter how many tablet of Ahmad's you want me to recite or how much bogus therapy you want me to participate in- I will NEVER be able to long for the touch of a woman or end my longing for the physical intimacy with a man. It's really that simple- I wish groups like this would get it through their heads! I'm sorry Lynne could never find happiness with a woman- but just 'cause she's jaded doesn't mean she needs to lead others astray.
I just want to applaud Pey's last rant! I can feel his frustration in his words!
ReplyDeleteAnother great discussion about this topic can be found at:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.gaybahai.net/discussion/post/1218227?lastPage=true
The writings of Shoghi Effendi and the Universal House of Justice are not scripture but they are authoritative insofar as they are either interpretations (in the case of the Guardian) or elucidations (in the case of the House of Justice.)Admittedly, Baha'u'llah said nothing about seeking medical treatment to overcome homosexuality, so that was more of the nature of personal advice, reflecting the science of the time. But there is no way around statements such as:
ReplyDelete"Homosexuality, according to the Writings of Bahá'u'lláh, is spiritually condemned."
(Written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi, letter dated May 21, 1954)
That constitutes an authoritative interpretation and not something the House of Justice is in any position to change.
Thank you Susan. I wasn't sure exactly which quote to use to spread the Word of God. So what I gather from your statement is that the quote "Homosexuality, according to the Writings of Bahá'u'lláh, is spiritually condemned." is a part of the official writings that constitute the Bahai Faith, and therefore must be taught to seekers, correct? I still don't really understand how you choose to believe some quotes from Shoghi's secretaries and disregard others. If this quote is the word of God that you follow, then surely the advise to get help (which included lobotomies in the 1950's) is also the word of God. Is it not? To be safe, I'll make sure to spread ALL these quotes from Shoghi's secretaries to fully teach the Bahai Faith to seekers. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteEvery time a Baha'i condescendingly posts the quote (as if a glbt Baha'i hasn't read it first)"Homosexuality, according to the Writings of Bahá'u'lláh, is spiritually condemned."
ReplyDelete(Written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi, letter dated May 21, 1954)
You say to us, "go away". Susan, you may communicate to the people you secretly work for that I have.
Every time a Baha'i posts this homophobic diatribe, hundreds of good descent progressive, open-minded, accepting people walk away from the Faith to religions that do not deceive their seekers and are not dysfunctional. I cannot tell you how many good, decent people are dismayed, disappointed , saddened that the Baha'is are joining the forces of darkness, bigotry, homophobia.
Shame! Shame! Shame on you and others who consistently throw the Holy Writings at people without the least bit of compassion or love.
The close-minded lock step world order you seek to create is scary and bigoted and offers little if anything to resolve the conflicts besieging the planet.
Daniel
Yes Daniel I wholeheartedly agree. When Bahais claim quotations such as Susan has done here, claiming that they have the authority of scripture when Shoghi Effendi clearly didn't (And Susan knows this is the case, as we already have had an exchange on the authority of these letters on my own blog, but that doesn't stop her repeating these statements anyway), all they are doing is making the Bahai Faith smaller. They want the Bahai Faith to exclude gays and any individuals who value gays as equals, by repeating such statements.
ReplyDeleteI thought this article I've linked below might be of some interest. For me, there are two highlights. The first thing is the fact that there's guidance from Shoghi Effendi's secretaries to the effect that birth control "if not necessarily wrong and immoral in principle (has) nevertheless to be discarded as constituting a real danger to the very foundations of our social life." This would seem to imply that the Baha'is who use birth control should think twice before they criticize Baha'is in homosexual relationships. It would also suggest that there's a double standard in the sense that this particular teaching doesn't get a lot of publicity. The second point is that people in polygamous marriages have been allowed to become Baha'is. It also seems like a double standard in the sense that there would be just as much reason to allow the contracting parties of a same-sex marriage to become Baha'is too. None of this solves the real problem, however, which is the "close-minded, lock-step" mindset Daniel describes. When people think that way, it always leads to trouble.
ReplyDeletehttp://justabahai.wordpress.com/2010/07/30/homophobia/
Susan wrote: "Shoghi Effendi could have been wrong about scientific and medical aspects of homosexuality but in terms of his interpretation of the Holy Writ to the effect that homosexual behavior is prohibited there, that would be well within the realm of his infallibility."
ReplyDeletePlease provide some quotations of material written by Shoghi Effendi where he mentions homosexual behaviour. A Letter written on Shoghi Efffendi's behalf does not have the same status as Shoghi Effendi's authority as interpretator, see my blog where I give evidence of this:
* where the 'status' of these Letters is less
http://justabahai.wordpress.com/find/#letters
* where I back this up with references to other Letters written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi:
http://justabahai.wordpress.com/2010/04/12/mainly-about-homosexuality/#authority
* http://justabahai.wordpress.com/2010/04/12/mainly-about-homosexuality/#1951
Susan, running around saying 'it is in the Bahai writings' is not proof. You have to show this, and since you seem to be so forgetful, any letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi is not Bahai Scripture. So repeatedly stating that a Letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi states that something is or isn't in the Bahai Writings as if that is proof, is just sloppy scholarship or someone trying to be misleading.
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "The Baha'i Faith is Homophobic: The following was ...":
ReplyDeleteSusan quoted: "Homosexuality, according to the Writings of Bahá'u'lláh, is spiritually condemned."
(Written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi, letter dated May 21, 1954)
I need to see the exact place where the Writings of Baha'u'llah state that homosexuality is spiritually condemned. Could I please have that exact quotation? -- Truth seeker
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZmHC75FDqQ&feature=player_embedded
ReplyDeletefrom another anon... play it loud!
From what I understand this quote: "Homosexuality, according to the Writings of Bahá'u'lláh, is spiritually condemned."
ReplyDeleteis according to Susan part of the official Bahai writings, an official interpretation because it is a general statement regarding homosexuality. However when it comes to Shoghi's secretary's comments in regard to getting a doctor's help in the 1950's to overcome said homosexuality, Susan doesn't believe that quote to be part of the Bahai Writings and valid. It's actually kind of confusing to me. I know religion is supposed to be a bit metaphysical, but this is just plain confusing. Especially when people like Daniel have voting rights removed and made to feel utterly unwelcome in the Bahai community by the US NSA by such quotes. You would think things would be a lot clearer regarding these quotes from secretaries. But if Susan is correct that this quote is part of the Bahai Faith, then why aren't we teaching it? I've never seen it in a pamphlet? You basically only have it flung in your face when you challenge people on the harm being done to gays inside the Bahai community. You can't have your cake and eat it too Susan. Please share this quote with your friends when you are teaching the Bahai Faith.
Oh look you all! The Bahais are mentioned on NARTH's page: http://www.narth.com/menus/statement.html
ReplyDeleteSo what was that argument that some Bahais make about the Bahais being different from evangelical Christians when it comes to this issue?
What is most sad to me is how quickly Baha'is and the Administration jumps to bad science and conservative evangelical homophobes... while making little ton effort to join with those religious organizations (links are in the right hand column of this blog) that accept and welcome LGBT people... it says a lot about institutionalized homophobia and the need to exclude. there are models for acceptance, in religious groups that have identical writings and teachings as ours, yet have found ways to love and include LGBT people none the less. The Baha'is seem hell bent to follow in the hate filled path of exclusion and condemnation and fear-based pseudo-science.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that NARTH can cite Baha`i support is really sad. It makes me very sad. NARTH is such a depressing organization.
ReplyDeletean ex gay therapy client replies:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDn7cEgxvtg&feature=related
Kitab-i-Aqdas: "We shrink, for very shame, from treating of the subject of boys."
ReplyDeleteAnti-Gay bigotry goes all the way back to the founding of the Faith, quite unfortunately.