RIGHT SPEECH
Refraining from Frivolous Speech
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Frivolous speech is
unhealthy. Refraining from frivolous speech is healthy. (MN 9)
Abandoning frivolous speech, one refrains from frivolous speech. One
speaks at the right time, speaks only what is fact, and speaks about
what is good. One speaks what is worthy of being overheard, words that
are reasonable, moderate, and beneficial. (DN 1) One practices thus:
“Others may speak frivolously, but I shall abstain from frivolous
speech.” (MN 8)
An authentic person is one who even unasked reveals what is praiseworthy
in others—how much more so when asked. When asked, however, and obliged
to reply to questions, one speaks of what is praiseworthy in others,
fully and in detail. (AN 4.73)
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It is not
necessary to point out people’s flaws on a regular basis. Sometimes
things need to be called out, and right speech does not mean covering up
what is difficult. But it does point to the inherent harmfulness of
being unnecessarily critical, which can damage the speaker as well as
the target of such speech. You should focus on saying what is
beneficial, and much of the time critical speech is rooted in an
aggressive mental stance.
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Get in the
habit of saying good things about people. Practice random acts of
praise, even when not asked to do so. And when you do have an
opportunity, don’t hold back on pointing out what is praiseworthy in
others. We know this is important when raising children, so why not
extend it to everyone? It turns out this is a healthy thing to do,
because it both benefits others and brings out healthy states in you.
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Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Social Action
One week from today: Refraining from False Speech
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Questions? Visit the Dhamma Wheel orientation page.
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