Via Three Teachings: Dharma Friends

 

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October 24, 2024 The Importance of Spiritual Friendship   Anyone unfamiliar with Buddhism would be forgiven for thinking of it as a solitary pursuit or practice. Images of silent retreats or a single meditator on a cushion come to mind. But sangha, or community, is one of the three jewels of Buddhism, and friendship is key. The concept of spiritual friends, known as kalyanamitra (P. kalyana mitta), is central to the Buddhist path, as much a support for practice as an outlook to cultivate. Individual friends and sanghas provide necessary encouragement for sticking with practice and following the precepts, or guidelines for an ethical life. They can provide guidance, relief, or inspiration. Spiritual friendship is also important as an orientation. An often-referenced quote by the Buddha is “friendship is not half of the holy life, but all of it” (Samyutta Nikaya, 45.2). As American Tibetan Buddhist nun Venerable Thubten Chodron points out, the Buddha was speaking about himself here, explaining that he is a good friend to all.  This week’s Three Teachings celebrates the importance of dharma friendships and the underrated impact of a friendly disposition, to one another and ourselves.

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Making Our Way Together By Mindy Newman and Kaia Fischer In this retelling of a story in the Karmashataka Sutra about a boy named Virupa, psychotherapist and meditation teacher Mindy Newman and translator Kaia Fischer highlight how “being known” is the mark of true friendship. In this story, the Buddha bestows this very gift to the central character. Newman and Fischer also lay out practical advice for being a good dharma friend.

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Admirable Friendship With Kate Johnson In a four-part Dharma Talk, meditation teacher Kate Johnson, author of the book Radical Friendship, discusses friendship as a central process in our lives and in our practice—one that “restores intimacy, loyalty, and generosity to our relationships with all beings, including ourselves.”

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The Whole of Spiritual Life With Venerable Thubten Chodron and Venerable Ayya Tathaaloka  In an interview on the vital importance of friendship, the nuns Ven. Thubten Chodron and Ven. Ayya Tathaaloka reflect on their own experience and encourage lay practitioners and monastics alike to seek out friends. These relationships, they agree, are an opportunity for transformation.

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