Thursday, February 20, 2014
Via Tricycle Daily Dharma
Tricycle Daily Dharma February 20, 2014
Facing Yourself
Spiritual
change is precisely a process that is bigger than you. You don’t
control it. You surrender to it. You don’t reinvent yourself through
spiritual work. You face yourself, and then you must let go of all the
ghastly things you find. But there is no end to these ghastly things.
They keep coming. The ego is a bottomless pit of suckiness. And so you
finally let go of the self that clings to itself (one definition of
ego). True freedom comes when ego goes.
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- Shozan Jack Haubner, "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Enlightenment"
Read the entire article in the Wisdom Collection through February 21, 2014
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Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Via JMG: Today's Dear Abby Column
Pauline Phillips, the original "Abigail Van Buren," died last year at the age of 94. Here is today's advice from her daughter Jeanne Phillips, who has written the column since 2002.
Reposted from Joe Jervis
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I relocated to Florida a little over a year ago and were quickly welcomed into our new neighbors' social whirl. Two couples in the neighborhood are gay -- one male, one female. While they are nice enough, my husband and I did not include them when it was our turn to host because we do not approve of their lifestyle choices. Since then, we have been excluded from neighborhood gatherings, and someone even suggested that we are bigots! Abby, we moved here from a conservative community where people were pretty much the same. If people were "different," they apparently kept it to themselves. I don't feel we should have to compromise our values just to win the approval of our neighbors. But really, who is the true bigot here? Would you like to weigh in? -- Unhappy in TampaMore than 30 years ago, Pauline said the same thing, but a bit more succinctly.
DEAR UNHAPPY: I sure would. The first thing I'd like to say is that regardless of what you were told in your previous community, a person's sexual orientation isn't a "lifestyle choice." Gay people can't change being gay any more than you can change being heterosexual. From where I sit, you may have chosen the wrong place to live because it appears you would be happier in a less integrated neighborhood surrounded by people who think the way you do. But if you interact only with people like yourselves, you will have missed a chance for growth, which is what you have been offered here. Please don't blow it.
Response to a Post on BUD: I have some observations...
Response to a Post on BUD:
I have some observations...
I won’t apologize if my mixture seems a bit rich, or harsh to some here. The time for politeness is over. This need for Baha’is to be condescending or tell others to “firm up your covenant” and to constantly school us here over and over about the writings, that trust me we all went to first… is over. I have a reasonable expectation here to be treated just as fairly in a Baha’i community as I am in the real world. It astonishes me that Baha’is do not see this.
There are GLBT people that have every right to be in this religion and expect that that this homophobia should stop. As for me, I have been misled, lied to by important people and institutions, spied upon, that if this had occurred in my professional life I could have sued and retired a very happy healthy and free man. I once let this happen in hopes that I could just hide under a rock, but they came after me anyway.
In so doing, I have noticed a phenomenon when Baha’is encounter the GLBTs in their community; I am ashamed to say that once I was there as well. I wish I could write as well about these things as others here can and do, so please bear with me. There are stages… or Valleys if it were:
1. Throw the book at them. At this stage the well-meaning but very fanatical and conservative Baha’i throws every possible quote, paragraph, writing at the GLBT. They labor under the misbelief that if the GLBT just reads one more special paragraph or prayer they will be “cured” and that they will miraculously turn straight. That if you question anything your covenant thingy is infirm...
2. Be kind but firm with them. Not sure to me if this is less or more harsh, this is where the Baha’is are wolves in sheep’s clothing. They pretend to be a friend, they may even treat GLBT colleagues at work “nicely”. But if you are a seeker or become a Baha’i they quickly, perhaps subtly, question your “firmness in the covenant” or even question why you are so angry? They will never include an actual GLBT Baha’i in the dialogue, just those that seek to cure us, thus making the Faith look absurd from the outside. And then when you stand up, and begin to publically ask questions they ask you why then are you a Baha’i? Or suggest that there is something amiss with your covenant thingy.... This is where they ask you if you don’t agree, with what they, the institutions or the writings have to say then why you are a Baha’i?
All these groups are dishonest, inadequate, hostile and violent in their own way towards GLBT people – they will not include GLBT Bs in the dialogue, they will inform on you, they do not allow for you to express your anger or frustration, and eventually they show you the door if you do not agree with them. They will not change or open their hearts. They just judge. They kick you out, but expect you to reform, to change, to return to a community that will never ever accept you anyway now because it is mired in antiquated homophobia that the institutions allow and support.
On the other side there seems to be pattern I have seen as well… most GLBT Baha’is do some of this:
Many cower, are ashamed, try, try, try to live like the person in Number 1 above wishes us to do, they fail frequently and eventually leave the Faith. Others live double lives, they marry, and play dangerously on the side because they have been terrorized into thinking that if they must put on a show all is well, yet eventually they find it is impossible, or end of living double lives, and not really part of either world. They buy into the homosexuality is sickness, and remain sick. Because this is what the Faith calls - CURED! Others attempt to make sense of this, they come in contact with healthy outstanding GLBT members and friends of other religions that despite having practically the very same teachings and rules on homosexuality, have made an all-inclusive community anyway. They probably visit these communities with their friends and begin to see a different world, where GLBT people are welcomed and encouraged to become healthy, happy citizens. And in so doing begin to ask the Baha'is why we can't do this as well? Or, they disappear all together
So it is, after living years in Os States (I was born there, pioneered to Central America, went to grad school there, worked 22 yrs there, tried being married, have an amazing son, and gave countless hours of service before I was lied to and then shown the door after marrying the man of my life). Comparing homophobic Baha’i cultish response to GLBT people to how many other religious communities behave, causes me to ask WTH (heck or Hidalgo as someone said) Baha’i Faith is just that.Is this constant berating of GLBT Baha’is doing any of us any good? Is ignoring our pain and frustration doing anyone any good? Is this constant throwing the writings at each other doing any good?
NO!
Is it including all of us in dialogue? Is it allowing all of us to be part of your community, in an open welcoming accepting manner? Or are we to continue this outdated, backward homophobic response and keep those terrible, sick weak in the covenant GLBT people out of our Feasts, Firesides, and communities? Sorry, but it really is time that all Baha’is grow a set, mature and realize that there are GLBT people everywhere, and we are not going away, and that we are not scary, immoral evil people, but can and should be included in all aspects of this messed up but beautiful religion. What possible harm would my happy, healthy family be to your nice little polite feast or fireside? So yeah, WTH BF?
I have some observations...
I won’t apologize if my mixture seems a bit rich, or harsh to some here. The time for politeness is over. This need for Baha’is to be condescending or tell others to “firm up your covenant” and to constantly school us here over and over about the writings, that trust me we all went to first… is over. I have a reasonable expectation here to be treated just as fairly in a Baha’i community as I am in the real world. It astonishes me that Baha’is do not see this.
There are GLBT people that have every right to be in this religion and expect that that this homophobia should stop. As for me, I have been misled, lied to by important people and institutions, spied upon, that if this had occurred in my professional life I could have sued and retired a very happy healthy and free man. I once let this happen in hopes that I could just hide under a rock, but they came after me anyway.
In so doing, I have noticed a phenomenon when Baha’is encounter the GLBTs in their community; I am ashamed to say that once I was there as well. I wish I could write as well about these things as others here can and do, so please bear with me. There are stages… or Valleys if it were:
1. Throw the book at them. At this stage the well-meaning but very fanatical and conservative Baha’i throws every possible quote, paragraph, writing at the GLBT. They labor under the misbelief that if the GLBT just reads one more special paragraph or prayer they will be “cured” and that they will miraculously turn straight. That if you question anything your covenant thingy is infirm...
2. Be kind but firm with them. Not sure to me if this is less or more harsh, this is where the Baha’is are wolves in sheep’s clothing. They pretend to be a friend, they may even treat GLBT colleagues at work “nicely”. But if you are a seeker or become a Baha’i they quickly, perhaps subtly, question your “firmness in the covenant” or even question why you are so angry? They will never include an actual GLBT Baha’i in the dialogue, just those that seek to cure us, thus making the Faith look absurd from the outside. And then when you stand up, and begin to publically ask questions they ask you why then are you a Baha’i? Or suggest that there is something amiss with your covenant thingy.... This is where they ask you if you don’t agree, with what they, the institutions or the writings have to say then why you are a Baha’i?
All these groups are dishonest, inadequate, hostile and violent in their own way towards GLBT people – they will not include GLBT Bs in the dialogue, they will inform on you, they do not allow for you to express your anger or frustration, and eventually they show you the door if you do not agree with them. They will not change or open their hearts. They just judge. They kick you out, but expect you to reform, to change, to return to a community that will never ever accept you anyway now because it is mired in antiquated homophobia that the institutions allow and support.
On the other side there seems to be pattern I have seen as well… most GLBT Baha’is do some of this:
Many cower, are ashamed, try, try, try to live like the person in Number 1 above wishes us to do, they fail frequently and eventually leave the Faith. Others live double lives, they marry, and play dangerously on the side because they have been terrorized into thinking that if they must put on a show all is well, yet eventually they find it is impossible, or end of living double lives, and not really part of either world. They buy into the homosexuality is sickness, and remain sick. Because this is what the Faith calls - CURED! Others attempt to make sense of this, they come in contact with healthy outstanding GLBT members and friends of other religions that despite having practically the very same teachings and rules on homosexuality, have made an all-inclusive community anyway. They probably visit these communities with their friends and begin to see a different world, where GLBT people are welcomed and encouraged to become healthy, happy citizens. And in so doing begin to ask the Baha'is why we can't do this as well? Or, they disappear all together
So it is, after living years in Os States (I was born there, pioneered to Central America, went to grad school there, worked 22 yrs there, tried being married, have an amazing son, and gave countless hours of service before I was lied to and then shown the door after marrying the man of my life). Comparing homophobic Baha’i cultish response to GLBT people to how many other religious communities behave, causes me to ask WTH (heck or Hidalgo as someone said) Baha’i Faith is just that.Is this constant berating of GLBT Baha’is doing any of us any good? Is ignoring our pain and frustration doing anyone any good? Is this constant throwing the writings at each other doing any good?
NO!
Is it including all of us in dialogue? Is it allowing all of us to be part of your community, in an open welcoming accepting manner? Or are we to continue this outdated, backward homophobic response and keep those terrible, sick weak in the covenant GLBT people out of our Feasts, Firesides, and communities? Sorry, but it really is time that all Baha’is grow a set, mature and realize that there are GLBT people everywhere, and we are not going away, and that we are not scary, immoral evil people, but can and should be included in all aspects of this messed up but beautiful religion. What possible harm would my happy, healthy family be to your nice little polite feast or fireside? So yeah, WTH BF?
Via Tricycle Daily Dharma
Tricycle Daily Dharma February 19, 2014
Abandoning the Transactional Mindset
Even
in close relationships, spending time with a friend, even while helping
others or doing other good works, if your attention is on what you are
feeling, on what you are getting out of it, then you see these
relationships as transactions. Because your focus is on how you are
feeling, consciously or unconsciously you are putting yourself first and
others second. This approach disconnects you from life, from the
totality of your world.
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- Ken McLeod, "Forget Happiness"
Read the entire article in the Wisdom Collection through February 20, 2014
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Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Via Tricycle Daily Dharma
Tricycle Daily Dharma February 18, 2014
The Refuge of Sitting
When
we read or hear about the benefits of meditation, it is tempting to
dwell on the stories of wonderful outcomes instead of doing the work of
actualizing these possibilities ourselves. There can be a big gap
between what we have read about and what is actually happening. Sitting
is a way of putting our bodies behind our aspirations.
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- Narayan Liebenson Grady, “The Refuge of Sitting”
Read the entire article in the Wisdom Collection through February 19, 2014
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Monday, February 17, 2014
Via JMG: NFL Survey: 86% Of Players Say They Are OK With Openly Gay Teammates
Forty-four players said a teammate's sexual orientation didn't matter to them, and 39 said they would be comfortable showering around a gay teammate. But 32 players said they had teammates or coaches who used homophobic slurs last season, and when asked whether an openly gay player would be comfortable in a NFL locker room, just 25 players said yes; 21 said no, while five declined to answer. One concern for players appeared to be learning how they could relate to a teammate they knew was gay and whether they would need to behave any differently around him. According to one starting receiver, "Whoever takes [Michael Sam in the draft] should have an open talk at the beginning of camp, where everybody can ask what he's comfortable with, what offends him, what boundaries there should be. When it comes to race, people already know the boundaries, to a certain extent. But I don't think football players are overly familiar with what can and can't be said around a gay person."Right wing sites are focusing on the 25% who say they wouldn't shower in the presence of a gay teammate. Of course.
Via Tricycle Daily Dharma
Tricycle Daily Dharma February 17, 2014
The Skill of Intention
It’s
through our intentions that we shape the world we experience, along
with the amount of pleasure or pain we take out of that experience. To
formulate intentions that really do lead to happiness is a skill. And
because it’s a skill, nobody else can master the skill for you; you
can’t master the skill for anyone else.
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- Thanissaro Bhikkhu, “Less is More”
Read the entire article in the Wisdom Collection through February 18, 2014
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Sunday, February 16, 2014
Via JMG:
President
Obama today denounced Uganda's anti-homosexuality bill. "I am deeply
disappointed that Uganda will shortly enact legislation that would
criminalize homosexuality. The Anti-Homosexuality Bill in Uganda, once
law, will be more than an affront and a danger to the gay community in
Uganda. It will be a step backward for all Ugandans and reflect poorly
on Uganda’s commitment to protecting the human rights of its people."
Full statement at JMG: http://bit.ly/1kM9tqs
Full statement at JMG: http://bit.ly/1kM9tqs
Via Tricycle Daily Dharma
Tricycle Daily Dharma February 16, 2014
Meditation and Poetry
Traditions
of deliberate attention to consciousness, and of making poems, are as
old as humankind. Meditation looks inward, poetry holds forth. One is
private, the other is out in the world. One enters the moment, the other
shares it. But in practice it is never entirely clear which is doing
which. In any case, we do know that in spite of the contemporary public
perception of meditation and poetry as special, exotic, and difficult,
they are both as old and as common as grass. The one goes back to
essential moments of stillness and deep inwardness, and the other to the
fundamental impulse of expression and presentation.
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- Gary Snyder, “Just One Breath”
Read the entire article in the Wisdom Collection through February 17, 2014
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Saturday, February 15, 2014
Via SBMG Newsletter:
I said to my soul, be still and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love
For love would be love of the wrong thing;
There is yet Faith but the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought.
So the darkness shall be the light and the stillness the dancing...
T.S. Elliot
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love
For love would be love of the wrong thing;
There is yet Faith but the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought.
So the darkness shall be the light and the stillness the dancing...
T.S. Elliot
Via JMG: Post-Windsor Court Record: 100%
Slate recaps the last eight months of marriage cases:
Twelve decisions have addressed a substantive aspect of marriage equality since Windsor, and equality has won in all 12—with the Virginia decision now joining decisions from Kentucky, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Utah, and West Virginia, and two decisions each in Illinois, New Jersey, and Ohio. But six other cases since Windsor have addressed different aspects of discrimination based on sexual orientation, such as discrimination on juries and employment benefits, and the side of equality has won in all six of those cases as well. The tally is even starker when you look at the number of judges who have considered the issue. Since Windsor, in these 18 decisions, 32 different judges have considered whether Windsor is merely about the relationship between the state and federal governments or whether it is about equality. And all 32 of them have found for equality. In other words, 32 accomplished, intelligent lawyers, appointed by Democrats and Republicans, whose job it is to read precedent, have ruled for equality. Not a single one has disagreed.
Labels: DOMA, Edith Windsor, marriage equality
Via JMG: Tricycle Daily Dharma
Tricycle Daily Dharma February 15, 2014
The Desire for Certainty
Scientific
fundamentalism mirrors religious fundamentalism in distressingly many
ways. But there is no need for science to be fundamentalist any more
than there is a need for religions to be fundamentalist. Fundamentalism
springs from a desire for certainty, but many religious people and many
scientists know that this cannot be achieved by beings with limited
minds and experience such as ourselves.
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- Rupert Sheldrake, "A Question of Faith"
Read the entire article in the Wisdom Collection through February 16, 2014
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Friday, February 14, 2014
Via JMG: KANSAS: Senate Leaders Vow To Narrow Bill That Legalizes Anti-Gay Dicrimination
For starters, a provision that would allow government employees to refuse service to same-sex couples on religious grounds is completely out. Senate President Susan Wagle, R-Wichita, was emphatically clear on that point. “Absolutely. I believe that when you hire police officers or a fireman that they have no choice in who they serve. They serve anyone who’s vulnerable, any age, any race, any sexual orientation,” Wagle said. When asked if this was also true for a government employee who issues dog licenses, Wagle responded simply. “Public service needs to remain public service for the entire public.” Wagle, who was joined by Senate Vice President Jeff King, R-Independence, and Senate Majority Leader Terry Bruce, R-Hutchinson, also cited concerns from the business community as part of their hesitation to move forward with House Bill 2453 in its current form. She said the bill, as written, would hurt large and small businesses alike.A spokesman for Equality Kansas reacted to Wagle's statement: "The religious community needs to have their religious freedoms respected, but the gay community needs have our rights as citizens of the state of Kansas respected. We’re not going to support any bill that singles out gay or lesbian couples either directly or indirectly through legalese." Republicans outnumber Democrats in the Kansas Senate by 31-9.
RELATED: Today Andrew Sullivan posted a blistering reaction to the bill. An excerpt:
If you were devising a strategy to make the Republicans look like the Bull Connors of our time, you just stumbled across a winner. If you wanted a strategy to define gay couples as victims and fundamentalist Christians as oppressors, you’ve hit the jackpot. In a period when public opinion has shifted decisively in favor of gay equality and dignity, Kansas and the GOP have decided to go in precisely the opposite direction. The week that the first openly gay potential NFL player came out, the GOP approved a bill that would prevent him from eating in restaurants in the state, if he ever mentioned his intention to marry or just shack up with his boyfriend. Really, Republicans? That’s the party you want? As for the allegedly Christian nature of this legislation, let’s not mince words. This is the inversion of Christianity.
Labels: bigotry, GOP, Kansas, LGBT rights
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