A personal blog by a graying (mostly Anglo with light African-American roots) gay left leaning liberal progressive married college-educated Buddhist Baha'i BBC/NPR-listening Professor Emeritus now following the Dharma in Minas Gerais, Brasil.
Sitting, standing, walking, and lying down; eating, drinking, working, speaking, and thinking, we should always have all-round mindfulness of the present.
Traveling in Bardo A Book Launch with Ann Tashi Slater
Join us for a Q&A and book-signing on September 16 in person at the Tibet House to celebrate the publication of Ann Tashi Slater’s Traveling in Bardo: The Art of Living in an Impermanent World.
Harsh speech is unhealthy. Refraining from harsh speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning harsh speech, one refrains from harsh speech. One speaks words that are gentle, pleasing to the ear, and affectionate, words that go to the heart, are courteous, and are agreeable to many. (DN 1) One practices thus: “Others may speak harshly, but I shall abstain from harsh speech.” (MN 8)
The monks at Kosambi had taken to quarreling and brawling and were deep in disputes, stabbing each other with verbal daggers. They could neither convince one another nor be convinced by others; they could neither persuade one another nor be persuaded by others. The Buddha then said to them: “What can you possibly know, what can you see, that you take to acting like this? It will lead to your harm and suffering for a long time.” (MN 48)
Reflection
This is such an incisive question: What can you possibly know or see to make you act like this? We think it must be something compelling for someone to turn against their own best interests and harm themselves. What higher purpose justifies this? These brawling and quarreling people were not only stabbing each other with verbal arrows, but by doing so they were also inflicting a lot of harm upon themselves.
Daily Practice
The next time you are engaged in an argument with someone, stop and look inward, examining your state of mind and body. Notice the physical tension and the harsh emotional attitude of the moment. Now ask yourself: Does the issue under dispute really require inflicting damage on myself? Can you feel the harm and suffering involved in such agitated and aversive emotional states? Let it go; you’ll be better off.
Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Mental Action One week from today: Refraining from Frivolous Speech
Share your thoughts and join the conversation on social media #DhammaWheel
The root of the problem lies in the way we deal with change. Most of us feel so insecure that we want to create a structure around us that makes us feel safe, and then we don't want it to change. Any change increases our uncertainty and our confusion and our inadequacy. And it frightens us.
Think of how bizarre that is, because you are a part of nature. Look out there and show me something that isn't changing. The nature of things is that they change, including us. Do you see how you're in a losing strategy if you pit yourself against change? See, it's a losing game.
“In my healing I am also mourning… It is my acknowledgment that there is suffering. It is my honoring of my discomfort as well as the discomfort of everyone else in the world.” – Lama Rod
Whatever you intend, whatever you plan, and whatever you have a tendency toward, that will become the basis upon which your mind is established. (SN 12.40) Develop meditation on appreciative joy, for when you develop meditation on appreciative joy, any discontent will be abandoned. (MN 62)
The far enemy of appreciative joy is discontent. (Vm 9.100)
Reflection
It is telling that we do not even have a word in English for the Pali word for appreciative joy (mudita). By putting together two words, we only approximate what we are trying to convey. Appreciative joy is the emotion of feeling happy for the other person, not because of them or about them, but celebrating the fact that they are happy and feeling blessed or fortunate in some way. Why don’t we have a word for this?
Daily Practice
Pay close attention to what happens in your own experience when you hear news of some good fortune befalling someone, whether the person is well known to you or not. Do you feel resentment, jealousy, or some other form of discontent? If so, stop right there and intervene. Conjure up goodwill instead and practice feeling happy for the person. These two mind states are opposites: one is unhealthy and the other healthy.
Tomorrow: Refraining from Harsh Speech One week from today: Cultivating Equanimity
Share your thoughts and join the conversation on social media #DhammaWheel
I think having the curiosity of a student forever is something to aspire to, and to see even the most irritating, pesky, awful life events as an occasion for teaching is a good way to go about your day if you can.