Via : The Compassionate Replacement of Painful Thoughts

By nlampert, November 14, 2014

First, become more carefully aware of the content and rhythm of the voices inside. What are their regular, unhealthy remarks and devastating comments? What do they sound like? What do they feel like? Begin to study how much pain they cause you. Feel how they take you over and how they hurt. When do they come out most strongly, day or night? What situations provoke them? Social occasions, family time, partners, competitive situations, work or leisure? Do they criticize your body, your mind, your actions, your whole being?

Notice the particular phrases and destructive, unhealthy perspective, the judgment, the shame, the self-denigration they engender.

Now, create a true antidote, a phrase or two or three, that completely transforms the falsehood of these unhealthy thoughts. Let the phrases be the healthiest words you can find, even if you don’t believe them at first. They can be as simple as “Life is precious” or “I will use this day well.” Or they can express the healthy opposite of thoughts of shame: “I will live with nobility and dignity .” Or the opposite of anxiety: “I will live my life with trust.” If helpful, they can be based on the phrases from loving-kindness practice:
 
May I love myself just as I am.
May I sense my worthiness and well-being.
May I trust this world.
May I hold myself in compassion.
May I meet the suffering and ignorance of others with compassion.

Now begin to work for a week with the phrases you have chosen. Particularly pay attention to those situation that trigger painful patterns. Every time you notice the destructive, unhealthy thoughts, even if they have been playing for a while, pause and feel the pain in them. Take a breath; hold your pain with kindness. The inwardly recite your phrases, firmly, deliberately. Do this over and over. It does not matter if they sound false, if you don’t quite believe them. 

Say them anyway, out of compassion, as an antidote to your suffering. You may need to say them a thousand times before you realize they are working. And they will.

This excerpt is taken from the book, “The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology”

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Via Freedom to Marry / FB:

 

 

What a wonderful year for the freedom to marry! We DOUBLED the number of states where same-sex couples can marry, and it's because of supporters like you. Share this stunning recap, and help to keep it going - every donation will be matched! http://www.freedomtomarry.org/match-14

An interesting Juxatpostion

Bom dia on a terribly hot morning here in Amparo, where we are spending the holiday with Milton's family. Here in Brasil we are in the midst of a national discussion about and related to corruption. As is my custom on Sundays I listen to the BBC, and this morning they revisited this discussion about the Business of Kindness.

See: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p02f8lg2

As well this quote from Sri Prem Baba ran across my feed:

“If karma determines that you are to live in a large urban center, you will need to pay close attention to your lifestyle and your habits in order to avoid being swallowed up by the dense energy around you. If there is one element that steals your presence and your consciousness the fastest, that would surely be food. Still, just watching what you eat is clearly not enough. Some people are able to maintain healthy and restricted eating habits, ones which are free from cruelty, but they still have other habits that connect them with harmful tendencies. It is crucial for us to become aware of the habits that open these doors.”

and another from the the Daily Dharma:

Real independence is the result of reflection and disciplined, honorable behavior.

- Bhikkhu Nyanasobhano, "The Phone Rings"

It seems that what we buy, how and where we buy it , maybe even when we buy it  influences to a large part  the quality of life around us and the political system we are immersed in.  When we buy form the little guy, we support communities by seeing much of the tax benefit going back into the community. When we buy from megacorporations that invest off shore where ever your shore may be) and look only at the bottom line and are not concerned with the environment, we are part of the problem.

Interesting how this mindfulness movement is getting little to no play here in Brasil unless you have access to English speaking media.

Our mindful dollar, our real is a real vote for kindness and community. Or as my Grandmother was so fond of saying, "you are what you eat".

Flor do Dia - Flor del Día - Flower of the Day - 28/12/2014

“Se o karma determina que você viva em um grande centro urbano, para não ser tragado pela densidade energética que o rodeia, você precisa estar muito atento a suas condutas e hábitos. Se pudesse eleger um dos elementos que mais rapidamente rouba a sua presença e sua consciência, sem dúvida seria a alimentação, mas claro que somente observar a alimentação não é o suficiente. Algumas pessoas conseguem manter uma alimentação bem restrita e adequada, isenta de crueldade, mas mantém outros hábitos que conectam com a maldade. Então, é importante você tomar consciência dos hábitos que abrem essas portas.”
Acesse o satsang completo: http://www.sriprembaba.org/pt-br/satsang/170914

“Si el karma determina que vivas en un gran centro urbano, para no ser tragado por la densidad energética que te rodea, es necesario que estés muy atento a tus conductas y hábitos. Si pudiese elegir uno de los elementos que más rápidamente roba tu presencia y tu conciencia, sin duda sería la alimentación, pero claro que solamente observar la alimentación no es suficiente. Algunas personas consiguen mantener una alimentación bien restringida y adecuada, libre de crueldad, pero mantienen otros hábitos que conectan con la maldad. Entonces es importante que seas consciente de los hábitos que abren estas puertas.”

“If karma determines that you are to live in a large urban center, you will need to pay close attention to your lifestyle and your habits in order to avoid being swallowed up by the dense energy around you. If there is one element that steals your presence and your consciousness the fastest, that would surely be food. Still, just watching what you eat is clearly not enough. Some people are able to maintain healthy and restricted eating habits, ones which are free from cruelty, but they still have other habits that connect them with harmful tendencies. It is crucial for us to become aware of the habits that open these doors.”

- Sri Prem Baba

Via Daily Dharma

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Real Independence | December 28, 2014

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Real independence is the result of reflection and disciplined, honorable behavior.

- Bhikkhu Nyanasobhano, "The Phone Rings"

Via FB:

Two Gay Dads, Two Kids, A Normal Family

Via Liberal America: A Letter To My Boyfriend’s Homophobic Parents On Christmas

Congratulations. You’ve won. You’ve earned your ticket into Heaven by showing your son God’s love.

You’ve shown your son God’s love by not allowing him to bring me to your home for Christmas. You’ve done exactly what Jesus would do – shun others. After all, Jesus didn’t let JUST ANYONE at his table. It’s sad that on a day you celebrate the birth of Christ, you’ll be acting in the complete opposite way that Jesus acted. Alas, you must show your son God’s love and not condone “our behavior.”

It worked last Christmas. You manipulated him into coming home and he was treated as if he were a leper. He was called names, harassed, and told he was going to Hell because I was dragging him there myself. He was in mental anguish over your treatment of him. You tore him apart with your words. 

You degraded your only son.

But this Christmas….. He’s over it. He’s over the threats, the lies, and the bullying. Since you don’t recognize him and I as a couple and since you’ve said you won’t treat us like part of the family, he’s decided to choose love over hate this Christmas. He’s choosing to NOT go back to what he once called home. His home is with me and it has been for three years. He’s become an integral part of my family. While you were shunning your son away, he found a family of his own. He found people who love him without conditions. He found a table he was welcome at.

During your Christmas celebration when you try to justify your actions, please remember that you gave your son an ultimatum – for him to get rid of the love of his life or to leave your family. I know you blame me for taking your son away, but whether I’m in the picture or not, your son is still gay and you must face this realization.

You’ve made it abundantly clear that you think I’m demon-possessed, a bad influence, and a sinner. Your judgment of me has no effect, but your treatment of your son causes my heart to bleed. I’ve had to sit by and watch you throw stones at the person I love most. I’ve watched as you and the rest of his family have disowned him. I’ve thought of every scenario to get you to love your son again. I’ve blamed myself because I felt as if I personally caused him to lose his family. I know this isn’t the case and that your son chose me because he recognized true love. I’m writing this to say that I have your son’s love and that’s all that matters. Your son and I love each other and that love is eternal and unconditional.

While you’re feeling comforted knowing that you’ll be rewarded in the next life for “not condoning the gay lifestyle”, I’m consoling your son in THIS LIFE. I’m the shoulder your son cries on today. I’m the person who will hug him tight tomorrow. I’m the one who will apologize on your behalf until the day I die. I’m the one who wants to scream at you and say, “Stop! You’re hurting your son! 

You’re hurting your only son!” But deep down, I know where your heart lies. Your heart beats to that of a literal interpretation of the Bible. Your heart beats to Fox News. Your heart beats to discrimination and treating other “sinners” the way you think they should be treated – condemned to Hell. Your heart beats with hatred to the things you fear and do not understand.

This Christmas, your son and I are surrounding ourselves with people who love and care about us. We understand what true love is. So this Christmas when you think to yourselves, “He’s abandoned his family for the gay lifestyle,” just know that your son didn’t abandon you. He’s been the same person he’s always been. You are the ones who changed. You’ve deemed certain people unworthy to sit at your table. You’ve put conditions on your love for your son and that is the worst Christmas gift of all.

Caleb Woods is a Communications and English major. He is a reader, a writer, and an activist for LGBT rights, women’s rights, and the rights of the American people. He has lived in Alabama for his entire life and has experienced first-hand discrimination and bigotry. He hopes to change hearts and minds across the world so that people may show more compassion and empathy for their fellow man and woman.

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Via Daily Dharma

From Disillusionment to Renunciation | December 27, 2014 For the mind that is ripe and self-reflective, affluence undermines its own false promises, and many Westerners have come to Buddhism from disillusionment in the successful pursuit of worldly gratification. That disillusionment is the first phase of renunciation. - David Patt, "Who's Zoomin' Who? The Commodification of Buddhism in the American Marketplace"

Flor do Dia - Flor del Día - Flower of the Day - 27/12/2014

“A entrega espiritual em é um fenômeno que se dá através da Graça. O ego não é capaz de se entregar; ele é capaz de preparar o campo, de se mover em direção à entrega, mas a entrega em si é um fenômeno que está além dos domínios da mente e do ego. Ela ocorre quando o ego amadureceu o suficiente para poder relaxar e diminuir o controle a ponto de dar um cochilo. Nesse momento, Deus pega.”

“La entrega espiritual es un fenómeno que se da a través de la Gracia. El ego no es capaz de entregarse; él es capaz de preparar el terreno, de moverse hacia la entrega, pero la entrega en sí es un fenómeno que está más allá de los dominios de la mente y del ego. Ella ocurre cuando el ego madureció lo suficiente como para poder relajarse y disminuir el control al punto de adormecerse. En ese momento, Dios te toma.”

“Spiritual surrender is a phenomenon that takes place through divine grace. The ego is not capable of surrendering. It can prepare the inner field and move us towards surrender, but actual surrender is a phenomenon beyond the mind and the ego. It takes place when the ego is mature enough to relax and let go of its control to the point where it dozes off. That is when God catches hold of you.”

- Sri Prem Baba

Via Karen's Thoughts: Nourishing Rage and Letting It Go

He abused me, he beat me, he defeated me, he robbed me – in those who harbor such thoughts hatred will never cease.

This verse, at the very beginning of the Dharmapada, speaks of the very simple truth that if we bring to mind our wrongs and nourish our hurt and anger, we make ourselves miserable. This verse caught my attention a long time ago, because that is exactly what the mind does--it repeats the list of the wrongs someone else has done to us: “He did this. She did that.” followed by your favorite four-letter word for people you dislike. Like a bulldog with a bone, the mind chews on hurtful events over and over again.

Another Buddhist scripture speaks of revenge being like trying to throw a hot coal at an enemy, we burn ourselves before we even have a chance to hurt anyone else. Someone who says “I will never forgive!” is really saying that they will nurse their grudge internally and turn it around and around in their mind, making themselves feel terrible, while the object of their hatred is untouched – this is assuming one is not planning to break the law by doing violence, which leads to its own cycle of suffering.

Now, I'm not so perfect that I've never nursed a grievance. There's a huge amount of energy in anger and you feel like you're going to explode if you don't do something with it. I tend to talk about it until I run myself to a stop. During domestic arguments, I do housework --- the place is never so clean as when I'm rolling on a big internal rant. Ideally, one should use that energy to resolve that situation. I had something happen at work that was unjust, and I used that anger to solve the problem in a professional way, then poof! Anger all gone. Sometimes, I find what's under the anger is essentially anxiety – and knowing that doesn't make it go away necessarily, but it does give me a tool to fight it with. Because., as the Buddha makes clear, it's your own anger that's the real enemy, not the person you're raging about.

It's hard to let go. I sometimes hang on to the illusion that if I can only just explain how they hurt me, they'd understand and admit they were wrong. And let's be honest with ourselves: There is something pleasurable about the idea that we can have the last word and put someone in their place. We fantasize about it. I think that the next time a doctor asks me if I eat French fries when I've come in to have an ingrown toenail treated, I will tell him exactly what I think of him and his stereotyping, and I will stomp out of his office, numbed toe and all! (And I've eaten French fries less than a half-dozen times in the last ten years. Bastard!) Anyway, it's a very satisfying picture to think that you can let 'em have it and leave them speechless as you storm out the door.

But that usually doesn't happen. People aren't “put in their place”; they just defend and justify themselves, and do their best to put you in the wrong. The more you try it, the worse the conflict becomes. The more you justify yourself, the more ammunition you give to someone who wants to put you down. In my experience, the only way to really end any conflict is absence and stubborn silence. It takes two to fight. Nobody can keep a fight going by themselves, except in their own minds.

Probably the best tool in your arsenal for that mental fight is the practice of metta (loving-kindness) meditation. It really is the opposite of the “He wronged me” rant quoted from the Dharmapada. Instead what you do is say phrases like “May he be happy. May he be healthy. May he be safe. May he be at peace.” You can google metta and find a wide variation on the theme, but the basic idea is that we start with wishing ourselves well, then those who are close to us, then in ever-widening circles until we embrace the entire world with loving-kindness. But included in this practice are those wishes for those who “we have difficulty loving” or “a person that we find difficult”. If I stop and think about it, I don't really want anything bad to happen to a person who has made me angry. What I want, mostly, is for them to leave me alone – and if I keep stewing about what they've done, it's just a way of keeping them in my life. Ideally, one should be able to endure obnoxious people and still wish them well, but I'm not that saintly yet. One step at a time. :-)

Read the original Here

DrRic Tutorial 4-7-8 Breathing

See also:  http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/ART00521/three-breathing-exercises.html

Flor do Dia - Flor del Día - Flower of the Day - 26/12/2014

“Uma coisa é achar que tem fé; outra coisa é ter fé. Você acha que tem fé, mas isso é imaginação – é uma fé mental. Essa fé é construída a partir de uma interpretação intelectual do conhecimento espiritual. Essa falsa fé é apenas um truque da natureza inferior, pois ela desmorona diante do primeiro desafio que aparece. A autêntica fé é um fenômeno que se dá no plano do coração, e quando essa conexão é estabelecida, pode vir o balanço que for - você não cai. Este é o poder da fé: sendo autêntica ela faz o cego enxergar, surdo ouvir e manco subir montanha. Essa é a minha experiência.”

“Una cosa es creer que se tiene fe; otra cosa es tener fe. Crees que tienes fe, pero eso es imaginación - es una fe mental. Esta fe es construida a partir de una interpretación intelectual del conocimiento espiritual. Esta falsa fe es sólo un truco de la naturaleza inferior, pues ella se desmorona ante el primer desafío que aparece. La auténtica fe es un fenómeno que se da en el plano del corazón, y cuando se establece esa conexión, puede venir la dificultad que sea - tú no caes. Este es el poder de la fe: siendo auténtica ella hace al ciego ver, al sordo oír y al cojo subir la montaña. Esa es mi experiencia.”

“It’s one thing to think you have faith, and another to actually have faith. We may think we have faith, but it’s only in our imagination – a mental faith. This faith is based on an intellectual interpretation of spiritual knowledge. False faith is merely a trick played on us by our lower nature. It falls apart as soon as the first challenge appears. Authentic faith is a phenomenon that occurs in our heart. Once this connection is made, regardless of what comes to shake us up we never fall. That is the power of faith. When faith is authentic, it makes the blind see, the deaf hear and the lame climb mountains. That’s my experience.”

- Sri Prem Baba

Via Daily Dharma

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See the Suffering | December 26, 2014

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By paying attention to sensory experience as it is happening—and not getting caught up in the labels, preferences, thoughts, and emotions that happen in the split seconds after bare sense-data impinge on our awareness—we learn to see the suffering involved in getting caught up. And by seeing that suffering, we learn to free ourselves from it.

- Cynthia Thatcher, "Disconnect the Dots"

Via Freedom to Marry / FB:

Via Healing Light / FB:

Via Daily Dharma

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Spirituality Among Family | December 25, 2014

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Manifesting a spiritual practice with our family is extremely difficult, but it’s also really simple. We don’t get carried away by our emotions; we don’t affirm our position at the expense of where others are coming from. But we do our best to open our arms, open our heart, and let what we've got inside us flow out into the situation and let the situation outside flow into us. In that process, we lose ourselves.

- Shozan Jack Haubner, "Drama or Dharma"

Via Just a Bahai: Uganda's anti-gay laws get tougher

In this interview (http://www.aol.com/…/ugandas-anti-gay-laws-get-to…/21003022/) with a Ugandan Gay rights campaigner - one thing he said was "that we need to get religious leaders that are very progressive to also engage in Uganda" - this was in reference to the influence of conservative American Christian groups who had been hosting anti-gay conferences (see: http://en.wikipedia.org/…/Uganda_Anti-Homosexuality_Act,_20…). We are talking about human beings being murdered by mobs as David Kato was (see my blog -http://justabahai.wordpress.com/2011/01/27/we/). The 2014 Uganda Anti-Homosexuality Act, (it was called the "Kill the Gays bill" until the proposed death penalty clauses were removed), allows for life imprisonment for someone who is declared gay or lesbian. When it was passed, world leaders such as the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights, various Presidents, and religious leaders voiced their protest. The Vatican legal attaché to the United Nations made this statement: "Pope Benedict is opposed to 'unjust discrimination' against gay men and lesbians" (ibid)

On 1 August 2014, the Constitutional Court of Uganda ruled the law invalid because it didn't have the required quorum, and now the interview discusses a new bill that is being promoted by the Ugandan government. I hope that the UHJ's 2010 letter urging the Bahai community to stand up for the rights of those who are oppressed one day bears fruit. I have yet to read or to hear of a single Bahai community making any form of statement in support of human rights for gays and lesbians. I am not suggesting that Bahai communities should get involved in the politics of the day, but like the Vatican statement, it could show a stand against discrimination. In Uganda, most would think the Bahais were against gays and lesbians because of their past involvement in an anti-gay coalition: to undo that, the Bahai community would need to show in deeds that it is against any form of discrimination. But Bahai communities around the world need to show this too, because the only things on the topic of homosexuality that Bahai communities to date have publicized is to diminish the rights of gays and lesbians. How hard would it be for a Bahai community in any other country in the world to make a statement against discrimination against gays and lesbians? Looking the other way, saying nothing, is .... like letting the elephant keep its foot on the tail of the mouse. I thank God for countries around the world who do something about the plight of gays and lesbians and accept them as refugees.

http://www.aol.com/article/2014/12/04/ugandas-anti-gay-laws-get-tougher/21003022/

Flor do Dia - Flor del Día - Flower of the Day - 24/12/2014

“Jesus é um mestre a quem muitos milagres foram atribuídos. Dizem que ele ressuscitou mortos, transformou água em vinho, multiplicou alimentos e fez cegos enxergarem. Mas isso é pequeno perto do maior milagre que ele realizou; é apenas um jogo para acordar a fé das pessoas. Às vezes somente milagres como esse (que transcendem os limites da mente) podem acabar com o sonho do ceticismo. Porém, o maior milagre de Jesus foi amar e perdoar até mesmo aqueles que o crucificaram. Esse é o verdadeiro milagre: a superação do ódio, da vingança e do medo; é compreender que o ataque, os maus tratos e o ódio do outro são, na verdade, gritos de socorro.”

Confira o satsang completo: http://www.sriprembaba.org/pt-br/satsang/160914

“Jesús es un maestro a quien se le atribuyeron muchos milagros. Dicen que él resucitó muertos, transformó agua en vino, multiplicó alimentos e hizo a los ciegos ver. Pero esto es pequeño cerca del mayor milagro más grande que él realizó, es sólo un juego para despertar la fe de las personas. A veces solo milagros como éste (que trascienden los límites de la mente) pueden terminar con el sueño del escepticismo. Sin embargo, el mayor milagro de Jesús fue amar y perdonar incluso a aquellos que lo crucificaron. Este es el verdadero milagro: la superación del odio, de la venganza y del miedo; es comprender que el ataque, el maltrato y el odio son, en realidad, gritos de socorro.”

“Many miracles were attributed to the master Jesus. They say that he resuscitated the dead, turned water into wine, multiplied food and made the blind see. But that is nothing when compared to the greatest of all his miracles... These other miracles were just a play, meant to awaken people’s faith. Sometimes only miracles like these, which transcend the limits of the mind, can put an end to the illusion of skepticism. Jesus’ biggest miracle was loving and forgiving even the ones who crucified him. This is the true miracle: overcoming hate, revenge and fear, and understanding that the other’s attacks, abuse and hate are all merely cries for help.”

- Sri Prem Baba