Wednesday, April 6, 2016
Via Ram Dass
April 6, 2016
Your anger and your inspiration are all inside you. They are just being who they are. Your reaction is your reaction. It is showing you your attachments and aversions.
Via Good Men Project: 5 Ways to Reconcile With an Unreconcilable Someone
Reconciliation is a team effort.
—
I recently attended a conference for dads and, in one session, a man
described a bitter divorce, resulting in him losing all contact with his
young daughter, now 26-years-old. He expressed the pain and
powerlessness of not being able to reconcile with her and of his
daughter’s refusal to connect with him in any way. Others in the session
found this difficult to comprehend and suggested he try again to
reconcile with her.I understood some of the pain and powerlessness this man described.
Sometimes reconciliation is not possible. What do you do then?
- See more at: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/5-ways-reconcile-unreconcilable-someone-bbab/#sthash.uAb80Uyc.dpuf
Reconciliation is a team effort.
—
I recently attended a conference for dads and, in one session, a man
described a bitter divorce, resulting in him losing all contact with his
young daughter, now 26-years-old. He expressed the pain and
powerlessness of not being able to reconcile with her and of his
daughter’s refusal to connect with him in any way. Others in the session
found this difficult to comprehend and suggested he try again to
reconcile with her.I understood some of the pain and powerlessness this man described.
Sometimes reconciliation is not possible. What do you do then?
◊♦◊
In a previous post I shared some details surrounding my divorce and a few of the lessons
I learned in the years after. I briefly mentioned that my ex-wife made
the decision to end all contact with me. This was very painful. She’d
been my best friend since I was a teen and now she was cut completely
from my life.|
However, one must also come to accept the situation for what it is and realize what you are unable to change.
|
Sometimes reconciliation is not possible.
I wanted to come to some kind of reconciliation with her but this was made impossible by her refusal to speak with me.
Over the years, I gradually came to understand that I could still reconcile the relationship within myself.
◊♦◊
If you are dealing with an irreconcilable someone or situation you
might find some peace by implementing the following five practices:- Recognize and accept how you feel. There is nothing wrong with feeling angry or upset about a situation. These feelings are normal and appropriate. However, one must also come to accept the situation for what it is and realize what you are unable to change. You can change your response to the situation. Choose to focus on what you can control.
- Change how you think about the other person. If something triggers a negative thought do your best to quickly replace it with a positive thought and memory. This will help with the next point.
- Speak positively. Do your best to avoid saying negative things about the other person if they come up in conversation.
- Recognize and appreciate the other person’s positive qualities and strengths. There are, in most cases, traits we can appreciate in another person and it’s always best, regardless of the situation, to concentrate on these.
- Offer up prayers or peaceful thoughts & wishes for the other person. When you think about the person you are unable to reconcile with say a brief prayer for him or her or express a wish for happiness.
There are, in most cases, traits we can appreciate in another person and it’s always best, regardless of the situation, to concentrate on these.
Even if the other person refuses to participate in reconciliation you can still come to some place of peace and reconciliation within yourself.
Previously published on STAND-Magazine
By Dwayne D. Hayes, Managing Editor
- See more at: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/5-ways-reconcile-unreconcilable-someone-bbab/#sthash.uAb80Uyc.dpuf
If you are dealing with an irreconcilable someone
or situation you might find some peace by implementing the following five
practices:
- Recognize and accept how you feel. There is nothing wrong with feeling angry or upset about a situation. These feelings are normal and appropriate. However, one must also come to accept the situation for what it is and realize what you are unable to change. You can change your response to the situation. Choose to focus on what you can control.
- Change how you think about the other person. If something triggers a negative thought do your best to quickly replace it with a positive thought and memory. This will help with the next point.
- Speak positively. Do your best to avoid saying negative things about the other person if they come up in conversation.
- Recognize and appreciate the other person’s positive qualities and strengths. There are, in most cases, traits we can appreciate in another person and it’s always best, regardless of the situation, to concentrate on these.
- Offer up prayers or peaceful thoughts & wishes for the other person.
When you
think about the person you are unable to reconcile with say a brief prayer
for him or her or express a wish for happiness.Offering up well-wishes for the other person will
also improve your mood and prevent you from dwelling on frustrating and painful
memories.
There are, in most cases, traits we can
appreciate in another person and it’s always best, regardless of the situation,
to concentrate on these.
Even if the other person refuses to participate in
reconciliation you can still come to some place of peace and reconciliation
within yourself.
Previously published on STAND-Magazine
By Dwayne D. Hayes, Managing Editor
- See more at:
http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/5-ways-reconcile-unreconcilable-someone-bbab/#sthash.uAb80Uyc.dpuf
Reconciliation is a team effort.
—
I recently attended a conference for dads and, in one session, a man
described a bitter divorce, resulting in him losing all contact with his
young daughter, now 26-years-old. He expressed the pain and
powerlessness of not being able to reconcile with her and of his
daughter’s refusal to connect with him in any way. Others in the session
found this difficult to comprehend and suggested he try again to
reconcile with her.I understood some of the pain and powerlessness this man described.
Sometimes reconciliation is not possible. What do you do then?
◊♦◊
In a previous post I shared some details surrounding my divorce and a few of the lessons
I learned in the years after. I briefly mentioned that my ex-wife made
the decision to end all contact with me. This was very painful. She’d
been my best friend since I was a teen and now she was cut completely
from my life.|
However, one must also come to accept the situation for what it is and realize what you are unable to change.
|
Sometimes reconciliation is not possible.
I wanted to come to some kind of reconciliation with her but this was made impossible by her refusal to speak with me.
Over the years, I gradually came to understand that I could still reconcile the relationship within myself.
◊♦◊
If you are dealing with an irreconcilable someone or situation you
might find some peace by implementing the following five practices:- Recognize and accept how you feel. There is nothing wrong with feeling angry or upset about a situation. These feelings are normal and appropriate. However, one must also come to accept the situation for what it is and realize what you are unable to change. You can change your response to the situation. Choose to focus on what you can control.
- Change how you think about the other person. If something triggers a negative thought do your best to quickly replace it with a positive thought and memory. This will help with the next point.
- Speak positively. Do your best to avoid saying negative things about the other person if they come up in conversation.
- Recognize and appreciate the other person’s positive qualities and strengths. There are, in most cases, traits we can appreciate in another person and it’s always best, regardless of the situation, to concentrate on these.
- Offer up prayers or peaceful thoughts & wishes for the other person. When you think about the person you are unable to reconcile with say a brief prayer for him or her or express a wish for happiness.
There are, in most cases, traits we can appreciate in another person and it’s always best, regardless of the situation, to concentrate on these.
Even if the other person refuses to participate in reconciliation you can still come to some place of peace and reconciliation within yourself.
Previously published on STAND-Magazine
By Dwayne D. Hayes, Managing Editor
- See more at: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/5-ways-reconcile-unreconcilable-someone-bbab/#sthash.uAb80Uyc.dpuf
Via Sri Prem Baba: Flor do dia - Flor del día - Flower of the day 06/04/2016
“O despertar espiritual é um processo de lembrança de si mesmo que
envolve a desconstrução do ego. Ego é uma palavra que tem diferentes
definições. Quando me refiro a um ego, estou falando de um falso centro,
uma falsa ideia de eu. Trata-se de uma falsa identidade construída a
partir de informações externas: você recebe um nome e uma educação;
adquire conhecimento e conquista coisas... Em outras palavras, você
constrói uma história sobre quem é você e
passa a acreditar que é essa história. Mas, para lembrar quem é você, a
falsa identidade precisará ser desconstruída. Esse é um grande
desafio.”
“El despertar
espiritual es un proceso de recordarse a si mismo que implica la
deconstrucción del ego. Ego es una palabra que tiene diferentes
definiciones. Cuando me refiero a un ego, estoy hablando de un falso
centro, una falsa idea de yo. Se trata de una falsa identidad construida
a partir de informaciones externas: recibes un nombre y una educación;
adquieres conocimiento y conquistas cosas... En otras palabras,
construyes una historia acerca de quien eres y pasas a creer que eres
esta historia. Pero para recordarte quién eres, la falsa identidad
necesitará ser deconstruida. Este es un gran desafío.”
“A spiritual awakening is a process of remembering one’s self and deconstructing the ego. Ego is a word with many different definitions. When I speak about the ego, I am referring to a false center, a false idea of ‘I’. It is a false identity built on external information such as the name we receive, our education, our knowledge and achievements. We construct a story about who we are and we begin to believe this story. In order to remember who we are, the false identity needs to be deconstructed. This is a great challenge.”
“A spiritual awakening is a process of remembering one’s self and deconstructing the ego. Ego is a word with many different definitions. When I speak about the ego, I am referring to a false center, a false idea of ‘I’. It is a false identity built on external information such as the name we receive, our education, our knowledge and achievements. We construct a story about who we are and we begin to believe this story. In order to remember who we are, the false identity needs to be deconstructed. This is a great challenge.”
Via Daily Dharma / April 6, 2016: Don’t Try So Hard
Trying
to find a Buddha or enlightenment is like trying to grab space. Space
has a name but no form. It's not something you can pick up or put down.
And you certainly can't grab it.
—Jisho Cary Warner, "The Snaggletoothed Barbarian"
—Jisho Cary Warner, "The Snaggletoothed Barbarian"
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
Via NPR: Better Late Than Never: Olympic Champion Greg Louganis Gets His Wheaties Box
Greg Louganis in an inward dive pike on the front of the
Wheaties box. The "legends" series boxes will be on shelves starting in
May.
Courtesy Of General Mills Wheaties announced that Louganis — who is openly gay and HIV-positive — along with two other former Olympians, hurdler Edwin Moses and swimmer Janet Evans, will be featured on the cereal boxes as part of the revamped "legends" series.
In a 2015 HBO documentary called Back on Board: Greg Louganis, the diver said he understood that he wasn't featured on the Wheaties box during the prime of his career in the 1980s because he didn't fit the company's requirement of a "wholesome image" as he was rumored to be gay. He came out publicly about his sexual identity and HIV-positive status in 1995.
Louganis says he's glad to finally be getting the recognition.
Janet Evans is one of the greatest women's distance swimmers in U.S. history..
Courtesy Of General Mills Louganis became the only man to sweep the Olympic diving events in back-to-back games when he won gold medals in both springboard and platform diving in the '84 and '88 Olympics. He's now a role model for other athletes including British Olympic diver Tom Daley, who came out as gay when he was around 20 years old.
"I would have always wanted someone like him as a role model on the front of a cereal box," Daley told NPR's Ari Shapiro. "He's a great model and forever will be the greatest diver to walk this earth."
General Mills spokesman Mike Siemienas told NPR he couldn't provide an answer as to why Louganis wasn't on the box previously because no one who was involved in those decisions still worked at the company. Siemienas said a committee is responsible for determining which athletes are on the boxes.
Wheaties unveiled the "legends" cereal boxes after the documentary detailing Louganis' athletic career and experiences as a gay man sparked a petition on Change.org to get the diver on the iconic Wheaties cereal box. Created by Julie Sondgerath, who had never met Louganis, the petition garnered nearly 45,000 signatures.
Wheaties told NPR that the petition did not factor into their decision to put Louganis on a Wheaties box.
"We were aware of the petition, as we see this all the time from fans wanting their favorite athlete on the box," Siemienas said. "But appearing on a Wheaties box is not a popularity contest. Wheaties chooses athletes based on their achievements on and off their field of play."
As for Louganis, he says that he appreciates the honor more now than he would have in the 1980s.
"Back in '95, I wasn't expected to live very long because we thought of HIV-AIDS as a death sentence, so to be here today, now 56, the box means so much more to me than it would have then because I feel like I'm being embraced as a whole person, not just for my athletic achievements."
Make the jump here to listen to the orginal and more at NPR
Via Sri Prem Baba: Flor do dia - Flor del día - Flower of the day 05/04/2016
“O processo do despertar inevitavelmente gera fricções, porque parte
desse processo diz respeito à desconstrução de tudo aquilo que é falso.
Se toda a sua história foi construída com base na falsa identidade,
então você tem a impressão de que tudo está desabando. Quando inicia o
caminho do autoconhecimento, você começa a despertar (inicia-se um
processo de iluminação), o que é sinônimo de deixar de fantasiar. E isso
pode ser bastante desafiador. Nesse
momento é preciso lembrar que isso faz parte do processo. Você está
renascendo para uma nova vida.”
“El proceso del despertar inevitablemente genera fricciones, porque
parte de este proceso se basa en la deconstrucción de todo aquello que
es falso. Si toda tu historia fue construida con base en la falsa
identidad, entonces tienes la impresión de que todo está desmoronándose.
Cuando inicias el camino del auto-conocimiento, comienzas a despertar
(se inicia un proceso de iluminación), que es sinónimo de dejar de
fantasear. Y esto puede ser bastante desafiante. En este momento es
necesario recordar que esto es parte del proceso. Estás renaciendo para
una nueva vida.”
“The process of awakening inevitably creates friction, because part of this process has to do with the deconstruction of everything that is false. If our entire lives have been based upon a false identity, then we may get the impression that everything is falling apart. When we begin walking the path of self-knowledge, we begin to wake up and move towards self-realization, which is synonymous with putting an end to our fantasies. This can be very challenging. At this moment, it is necessary to remember that this deconstruction is part of the process. We are being reborn to a new life.”
“The process of awakening inevitably creates friction, because part of this process has to do with the deconstruction of everything that is false. If our entire lives have been based upon a false identity, then we may get the impression that everything is falling apart. When we begin walking the path of self-knowledge, we begin to wake up and move towards self-realization, which is synonymous with putting an end to our fantasies. This can be very challenging. At this moment, it is necessary to remember that this deconstruction is part of the process. We are being reborn to a new life.”
Via Daily Dharma / April 5, 2016: The Body’s Quiet Movements
Sitting
motionlessly quiet, for minutes or hours, regardless of length of time,
is being in touch with the movements of the body—mind, gross and
subtle, dull and clear, shallow and deep—without any opposition,
resistance, grasping, or escape.
—Toni Packer, "Unmasking the Self"
—Toni Packer, "Unmasking the Self"
Monday, April 4, 2016
Via Daily Dharma / April 4, 2016: On Meditation
Practice every day for ten to fifteen minutes (or more) and you will discover the treasures of your life.
—From The Ten Directions, "How to Sit"
—From The Ten Directions, "How to Sit"
Sunday, April 3, 2016
Via GayStar News: International Family Equality Day to focus on freedom of movement
Plans underway to unite LGBTI families worldwide in biggest event yet
International Family Equality Day to be held 1 May.
The Network of European LGBTIQ Families Associations (NELFA) will hold the fifth International Family Equality Day (IFED) on 1 May.
The motto of this year’s IFED is Families Without Borders.
The aim is to raise awareness for LGBTI families, especially those traveling or moving to other countries where the legal status of their family might not be recognized.
LGBTI families often face the risk of death or humiliation just by entering other countries. NELFA and family organizations from around the world hope that IFED will send a message of unity to families of refugees and migrants who are either separated by borders or need to cross them.
‘Still today a legally recognized rainbow family will not necessarily be treated as such when crossing borders. A married Spanish couple with two children might become “two single mothers” with no legal ties between them when moving to Italy,’ President of NELFA, Maria von Känel says. ‘Parents who are not legally recognized may not get residence or work permits.’
‘We urge states worldwide to respect existing family laws and to protect all rainbow families,’ the Vice-President of NELFA, Luís Amorim, added.
Families from 32 countries and 67 cities across the globe joined IFED in 2015. This year they will be joined by Ecuador, Norway, Russia, South Africa and Sweden.
NELFA encourages the public to support the event on social media with the hash tag #IFED16.
Via Sri Prem Baba: Flor do dia - Flor del día - Flower of the day 03/04/2016
“Tenho dito que a crise global que se manifesta nos mais diversos
setores da nossa sociedade tem raiz na nossa desconexão com a
espiritualidade. Isso quer dizer que estamos falando de uma crise
espiritual. Essa crise foi gerada pela mente humana que tem o vício de
separar. E a cura para os nossos problemas sociais é a união. Precisamos
espiritualizar a educação, a economia, a política e todos as nossas
instituições. E esse processo começa dentro de cada um de nós.”
“Vengo diciendo que la crisis global que se manifiesta en los más
diversos sectores de nuestra sociedad, tiene su raíz en nuestra
desconexión con la espiritualidad. Esto quiere decir que estamos
hablando de una crisis espiritual. Esta crisis fue generada por la mente
humana que tiene el vicio de separar. Y la cura para nuestros problemas
sociales es la unión. Necesitamos espiritualizar la educación, la
economía, la política y todas nuestras instituciones. Y este proceso
comienza dentro de cada uno de nosotros.”
“The global crisis that is taking place in the most diverse sectors of our society is due to our disconnection with spirituality. Therefore, this is a spiritual crisis. This crisis was created by the human mind that is addicted to separation, and the cure to our social problems is union. We need to bring spirituality to our systems of education, economics, politics and every other one of our institutions. This process begins within each one of us.”
“The global crisis that is taking place in the most diverse sectors of our society is due to our disconnection with spirituality. Therefore, this is a spiritual crisis. This crisis was created by the human mind that is addicted to separation, and the cure to our social problems is union. We need to bring spirituality to our systems of education, economics, politics and every other one of our institutions. This process begins within each one of us.”
Via Daily Dharma:
Prostrations
and offerings are admittedly just forms—just a human way of expressing
what cats express by rubbing themselves against a beloved person’s legs.
If it were natural for humans to stand on their heads or stick out
their rumps to express reverence, then Buddhists would stand on their
heads or stick out their rumps as a matter of course.
– John Blofeld “A Spirit of Reverence”
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