A personal blog by a graying (mostly Anglo with light African-American roots) gay left leaning liberal progressive married college-educated Buddhist Baha'i BBC/NPR-listening Professor Emeritus now following the Dharma in Minas Gerais, Brasil.
KENNETH LEWES was an Renaissance scholar who became a psychologist who went on toe question modern psychoanalysis of homosexuality. He was born on this date and grew up in a post-World War II working-class neighborhood of the northeast Bronx, the son of an immigrant couple who never got beyond grade school. He guessed even before he entered junior high school that he was gay.
But it wasn’t until he was nearly 50 — and publishing what would become a critically acclaimed takedown of post-Freudian psychoanalytic theories of homosexuality — that he confided his sexual orientation to his parents.
“I remember finding my way to the local public library and checking out books on psychology and human development,” he said in an interview in 2019 with the Journal of Gay & Lesbian Mental Health, “in hopes of finding some reassurance that my interest in handsome boys was only a stage that I would soon pass through.”
Dr. Lewes was married at 23 and divorced by 32 — the age when he had his first homosexual experience. “It seemed only natural for me to be out of the closet to my friends, colleagues and family,” he said, “with the important exception of my parents, who, it had become clear over the years, did not want to hear anything on that particular subject. I came out to them almost 15 years later.”
In his signal book, Dr. Lewes took on the psychoanalytic establishment over what he called its “history of homophobia.” He concluded, “Many analysts have violated basic norms of decency in their treatment of homosexuals.” Dr. Lewes’s major work, The Psychoanalytic Theory of Male Homosexuality (1988), traced the evolution of the prevailing view that homosexuality was a curable illness and explored what he called the psychoanalytic establishment’s “century-long history of homophobia.” The book’s title was changed to Psychoanalysis and Male Homosexuality in later editions.
Drawing on some 500 primary sources, Dr. Lewes’s book, which expanded on his doctoral dissertation, found that most analysts had adhered to “popular prejudice” against gay people and clichés about them. “Many analysts,” he concluded, “have violated basic norms of decency in their treatment of homosexuals.”
He said he had been unable to find a single analysis of the subject written by a psychoanalyst who identified as gay.
Dr. Lewes found that the Oedipus complex could lead to 12 alternative resolutions, six of them heterosexual and six homosexual. “All results of the Oedipus complex are traumatic,” he wrote, “and, for similar reasons, all are ‘normal.’”
I have spent much of my time building communities and I have learned a lot from it. In Plum Village we try to live like an organism. No one has a private car, no one has a private bank account, no one has a private telephone - everything belongs to the community. And yet, happiness is possible. Our basic practice is seeing each one as a cell in the body, and that is why fraternity, brotherhood, sisterhood become possible. When you are nourished by brotherhood, happiness is possible, and that is why we are able to do a lot of things to help other people to suffer less.
Unconditional love really exists in each of us. It is part of our deep
inner being. It is not so much an active emotion as a state of being.
It’s not “I love you” for this or that reason, not “I love you if you
love me.” It’s love for no reason, love without an object. It’s just
sitting in love, a love that incorporates the chair and the room and
permeates everything around. The thinking mind is extinguished in love.
If I go into the place in myself that is love and you go into the place
in yourself that is love, we are together in love. Then you and I are
truly in love, the state of being love. That’s the entrance to Oneness.
That’s the space I entered when I met my guru.
- Ram Dass -
We do not become less human by purging toxins from our emotional life but rather more nobly human. Abandoning greed, hatred, and delusion at every opportunity, we are still left with a rich, nuanced, and healthier emotional life.
Peggy Rowe Ward and Larry Ward on how to give yourself the love and compassion you deserve. And send some of that love to the wounded child inside you. They need it. | ||
Thich
Nhat Hanh, our teacher, described love as an extremely powerful energy
that has the capacity to transform ourselves and others. But many of us
find it difficult to direct love toward ourselves. We quickly become
aware of negative feelings like shame, guilt, and self-criticism that
make it hard to love and care for ourselves. Unfortunately, this is all
too common. |
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