May 21, 2016
“I am a 2nd generation Baha’i who is also
gay. For the last 21 years, I have been happily “married” to the most
loving and amazing man in the world – easily and without question my
Soulmate. During this time, and for a number of years prior, I have been
inactive in the Faith. I still consider myself a Baha’i – but I find it
increasingly difficult to abide by the current stance of the Faith
toward gays. (I am not “sick,” “unnatural,” or “handicapped.” I was made
this way. And our Creator does not make an imperfect creation. I am
perfect just the way I am. But enough on the truth it’s taken me my
lifetime so far to realize.)
On to my question…
Is there
any reason for me to continue to have any affiliation with a faith that
questions my inherent and God-given perfection? Is it finally time for
me to just throw in the towel with the Baha’i Faith as an organization
and seek spirituality and nearness to my Creator on my own (something
I’ve been doing for the past 25+ years anyway)?
To be completely honest, given the Faiths
stance toward gays, I’m ashamed to tell people I’m a Baha’i. I feel much
more love, acceptance, support, peace, unity- and even spirituality! –
within the Buddhist community. What has happened to the Baha’i Faith?
Has it already failed less than 200 years later?
I see that I have asked more than one
question. I suppose I’ve always believed that the only bad question is
the one not asked. Reading over what I’ve just written, some of you may
get the impression that I’m angry. I’m not. Just frustrated – and
wanting to know your thoughts.”
A: Only you can decide if the Baha’i Faith is
still right for you. I have chosen to go it alone. I can not be part of a
religion that doesn’t fully accept us and I don’t see any chance of
them accepting us in the future.
B: It is
the question that I have been struggling with for over 30 years since my
administrative rights were removed. It helps to voice the question, and
the frustration. I can see a time when I will be able to completely
disassociate myself from the Faith, but that moment hasn’t arrived. I
keep hoping that there will be a positive change toward embracing all.
It defies reason that it hasn’t happened yet, but I keep hoping.
C: I have
similar questions, myself. I usually tell people I’m an ex-Bahá’í, even
though I haven’t removed myself from the Faith, only stepped back for 10
or 11 years. I still have some lingering hope somewhere that if enough
voices within the Bahai community speak up for LGBT+ acceptance (not
this strange sort of tolerance where we’re seen as having an affliction
to be cured), then the Faith will move forward. I’m a 3rd generation
Bahai and I’m trans and mga (multiple gender attracted), and I’ve been
in a same-gender relationship with my partner since 2007.
D: I’m a
transwoman – I was in the Faith for 32 years but finally had to leave
because it wasn’t working for me on a number of levels. But I think the
big one was that it did not give me a way to understand myself that I
could accept or live with. And by that meaning that God had made me a
man outwardly and inwardly given me the heart and soul of a woman. When I
left to find something else – I wasn’t sure what – it was the beginning
of a huge awakening still going on today. And one of the first things I
learned was that God loved and accepted me far more than I had ever
realized before. But I guess I haven’t entirely cast the Faith aside, as
I am here reading what others say and making comments.
E: It all
depends on if you believe Bahaullah is who he said he is. If so you are a
Bahai whether you have rights or not. If you believe that in the big
picture the Bahai model is best for the future then support the faith. I
disagree with the UHJ not doing their job in modifying the social
teachings for the current age. I believe that the continuance of the
covenant through the UHJ was to provide a body to bring the faith
through 1000 years, updating the social principles of the faith as
humanity matures. They seem reluctant to do that. I believe that our
spiritual journey is our own and we are responsible to listen to others
then prayerfully make our own conclusions.
F: I agree
with the Faiths basic belief that we as individuals are responsible for
our own spiritual health and growth (hence, no clergy – which I couldn’t
agree with more). But I never thought that would include rejecting the
“clergy” of the UHJ. (I suppose they are just fallible men and women,
after all, but…) I’m all for self discovery, exploration, and personal
truth seeking, … but I never thought as a gay man that I’d have to
“boldly go where no one has gone before” (to coin a phrase) with my own
faith! The prospects are both lonely and scary. And exciting.
G: Gandhi
was excommunicated by the Hindu religious authorities for travelling
overseas. His friends and family would have been excommunicated as well
if they saw him off at the wharf. These days, however, nobody thinks of
him as a bad Hindu. I’m hoping the conditions Bahais face within their
religion are also temporary, but I won’t hold my breath. I don’t regret
my time as an active and involved member of the Bahai community, but I
vastly prefer being unaffiliated.
Unaffiliating, whether you remain a
believer or not, is enormously disruptive in the short term. But it may
be better in the long-term. In the short-term, you're closing a door,
but in the long-term, it may well re-open. For example, the 25-year Ruhi
program has only five more years to run. Only the individual can decide
what to do — but I think it's important to think both short and
long-term when making the decision.
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