Via Dhamma Wheel | Right Speech: Refraining from Harsh Speech

 

RIGHT SPEECH Refraining from Harsh Speech

Harsh speech is unhealthy. Refraining from harsh speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning harsh speech, one refrains from harsh speech. One speaks words that are gentle, pleasing to the ear, and affectionate, words that go to the heart, are courteous, and are agreeable to many. (DN 1) One practices thus: "Others may speak harshly, but I shall abstain from harsh speech." (MN 8) When one says: "All those engaged in the pursuit of the enjoyment of sensual pleasures have entered the wrong way," one thus disparages some. But when one says instead, "The pursuit of the enjoyment of sensual pleasures is a state beset by suffering, and it is the wrong way," then one is not disparaging anyone but simply stating the truth. (MN 139)

Reflection

Right speech does not mean always telling people what they want to hear. Often difficult truths need to be spoken, but there are skillful and unskillful ways of doing this. In this passage we are instructed on the implications of invoking the sense of self. Instead of disparaging others by using an agent noun ("They are such a liar"), simply speak the truth by pointing out their actions (“They have told a lie”) rather than rebuking the self.

Daily Practice

Practice critiquing the words or actions of a person rather than the person. Instead of calling a person rude, point out the rude thing they have said or done. It is a small but important distinction. Whenever people feel attacked, it brings out the tendency to counterattack. When their actions are called out instead, it leaves them room to change their behavior.

Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Mental Action
One week from today: Refraining from Frivolous Speech

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