RIGHT SPEECH
Refraining from Harsh Speech
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Harsh speech is unhealthy.
Refraining from harsh speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning harsh speech,
one refrains from harsh speech. One speaks words that are gentle,
pleasing to the ear, and affectionate, words that go to the heart, are
courteous, and are agreeable to many. (DN 1) One practices thus: “Others
may speak harshly, but I shall abstain from harsh speech.” (MN 8)
How does there come to be non-insistence on local language and
non-overriding of normal usage? In different localities they call the
same thing by different words. So whatever they call it in such and such
a locality, without adhering to that word one speaks accordingly,
thinking: “These people, it seems, are speaking with reference to this.”
(MN 139)
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One way of
speaking harshly is to dominate how words are used and understood. Too
often we listen to others barely enough to project our own meaning onto
their words and wait impatiently for the opportunity to jump back in and
speak again. Right speech is a two-way street and involves learning
from others at least as much as conveying our own perspectives to them.
Refraining from speaking without listening is healthy.
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Practice
listening when you are talking with people. Actively attend to what they
say and try to understand in their own terms what they mean. Assume you
don’t automatically understand them and practice inquiring into their
words and phrases and attending to their non-verbal clues with an open
mind. It may be that people are saying things from which you can learn
something new. Right speech includes right listening.
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Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Mental Action
One week from today: Refraining from Frivolous Speech
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