A personal blog by a graying (mostly Anglo with light African-American roots) gay left leaning liberal progressive married college-educated Buddhist Baha'i BBC/NPR-listening Professor Emeritus now following the Dharma in Minas Gerais, Brasil.
Frivolous speech is unhealthy. Refraining from frivolous speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning frivolous speech, one refrains from frivolous speech. One speaks at the right time, speaks only what is fact, and speaks about what is good. One speaks what is worthy of being overheard, words that are reasonable, moderate, and beneficial. (DN 1) One practices thus: "Others may speak frivolously, but I shall abstain from frivolous speech." (MN 8)
When a person commits an offense of some kind, one should not hurry to reprove them but rather should consider whether or not to speak. If you will be troubled, the other person will not be hurt, and you can help them emerge from what is unhealthy and establish them in what is healthy, then it is proper to speak. It is a trifle that you will be troubled compared with the value of helping establish them in what is healthy. (MN 103)
Reflection
The guideline to refrain from frivolous speech is a recommendation that we take seriously what we say and say what is meaningful with a sense of purpose and care. It does not mean everything we say has to be profound, just carefully considered. Here we also have guidance for when to speak up and when not to. If we can help someone and make a difference by speaking out, then the fact that it is troublesome is a trifle.
Daily Practice
As you practice considering carefully the way you speak, the suggestion to "not hurry to reprove" someone who does or says something offensive but rather to "consider whether or not to speak" is an important suggestion. This moment of pause and reflection is itself a powerful practice in daily life and should be followed at every opportunity. Try speaking up only when you really can help a person or situation and not simply from habit or reflex.
Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Social Action One week from today: Refraining from False Speech
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Notice
that everything you usually take yourself to be is an object that can
be observed. You can describe your body, your feelings, your thoughts,
and your memories. If they can be known, they cannot be your true self,
because their very existence implies a subject that knows them.
Exploring
Zen’s Three Tenets, Roshi Wendy Egyoku Nakao explains how
not-knowing—in addition to bearing witness and taking action—can help us
stay centered.
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