In relationships, you create an environment with your work on yourself,
which you offer to another human being to use in the way they need to
grow. You keep working. You become the soil—moist and soft and
receptive—so the person can grow the way they need to grow, because how
do you know how they should grow?
After a while, you come to appreciate that what you can offer another
human being is to work on yourself, to be a statement of what it is you
have found in the way you live your life. One of the things you will
find is the ability to appreciate what is, as it is, in equanimity,
compassion, and love that isn’t conditional. You don’t love a person
more because they are happier in the way you think they should be.
What you cultivate in yourself is the garden where they can grow, and
you offer your consciousness and the spaciousness to hear it
- Ram Dass -
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