A personal blog by a graying (mostly Anglo with light African-American roots) gay left leaning liberal progressive married college-educated Buddhist Baha'i BBC/NPR-listening Professor Emeritus now following the Dharma in Minas Gerais, Brasil.
RIGHT LIVING Undertaking the Commitment to Abstain from Misbehaving Among Sensual Pleasures
Sensual misconduct is
unhealthy. Refraining from sensual misconduct is healthy. (MN 9)
Abandoning sensual misconduct, one abstains from misbehaving among
sensual pleasures. (MN 41) One practices thus: "Others may engage in
sensual misconduct, but I will abstain from sensual misconduct." (MN 8)
A person reflects thus: "If someone were to commit adultery with my
partner, that would not be pleasing and agreeable to me. Now if I were
to commit adultery with the partner of another, that would not be
pleasing and agreeable to the other. How can I inflict on another what
is displeasing and disagreeable to me?" Having reflected thus, one
abstains from sexual misconduct, exhorts others to abstain from it, and
speaks in praise of abstinence from it. (SN 55.7)
Reflection
The practical
definition of the precept against sexual misbehavior is defined in the
context of householder or layperson life as fidelity or honesty in
relationships. When an intimate partnership (of any gender combination)
involves a mutual promise of exclusivity, this is to be respected.
Cheating involves causing hurt and not being truthful, both of which are
inherently unhealthy and harmful.
Daily Practice
Relationships
are a rich area for daily practice. This text invites us to explore the
application of the Golden Rule in relationships, in both large and small
ways. It emphasizes that a pledge of fidelity works both ways and that
there are also countless minor instances of abuse of trust and integrity
that can come under the gaze of awareness. Look to see if there is
anything you do, however small, that you would not want your partner to
do.
Tomorrow: Developing Unarisen Healthy States One week from today: Abstaining from Intoxication
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When
we sit in meditation, we sit in the midst of our own opposites: our
strengths and weaknesses, our desires and dislikes. In doing so, we
express a willingness to work with everything that arises in the field
of our own mind, no matter how great our aversion.
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However the seed is planted, in that way the fruit is gathered. Good things come from doing good deeds; bad things come from doing bad deeds. (SN 11.10) What is the purpose of a mirror? For the purpose of reflection. So too mental action is to be done with repeated reflection. (MN 61)
When you are doing an action with the mind, reflect on that same mental action thus: "Does this action I am doing with the mind lead to my own affliction?" If, on reflection, you know that it does, then stop doing it; if you know that it does not, then continue. (MN 61)
Reflection
The body has a natural capacity for proprioception, for knowing what it is doing as it is doing it. What about the mind? How often do we know what we are thinking as we are thinking it? Not often, it appears. Mindfulness of the body is being aware of the body while breathing, for example. Mindfulness of mind is being aware of the activities of the mind as they are unfolding. This takes some getting used to, but it can be done.
Daily Practice
This particular text is encouraging us to notice the ethical quality of our mental activity and in particular whether it contributes to some sort of self-harm. Sometimes we are our own worst critic, our own most undermining voice, our own adversary. When we pay close attention to what the mind is doing, we can catch it in the act of hurting us and gently let go of that in order to point the mind in a more positive direction.
Tomorrow: Abstaining from Misbehaving Among Sensual Pleasures One week from today: Reflecting upon Social Action
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Harsh speech is unhealthy.
Refraining from harsh speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning harsh speech,
one refrains from harsh speech. One speaks words that are gentle,
pleasing to the ear, and affectionate, words that go to the heart, are
courteous, and are agreeable to many. (DN 1) One practices thus: "Others
may speak harshly, but I shall abstain from harsh speech." (MN 8)
When one says: "All those engaged in the pursuit of the enjoyment of
sensual pleasures have entered the wrong way," one thus disparages some.
But when one says instead, "The pursuit of the enjoyment of sensual
pleasures is a state beset by suffering, and it is the wrong way," then
one is not disparaging anyone but simply stating the truth. (MN 139)
Reflection
Right speech
does not mean always telling people what they want to hear. Often
difficult truths need to be spoken, but there are skillful and
unskillful ways of doing this. In this passage we are instructed on the
implications of invoking the sense of self. Instead of disparaging
others by using an agent noun ("They are such a liar"), simply speak the
truth by pointing out their actions (“They have told a lie”) rather
than rebuking the self.
Daily Practice
Practice
critiquing the words or actions of a person rather than the person.
Instead of calling a person rude, point out the rude thing they have
said or done. It is a small but important distinction. Whenever people
feel attacked, it brings out the tendency to counterattack. When their
actions are called out instead, it leaves them room to change their
behavior.
Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Mental Action One week from today: Refraining from Frivolous Speech
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