A personal blog by a graying (mostly Anglo with light African-American roots) gay left leaning liberal progressive married college-educated Buddhist Baha'i BBC/NPR-listening Professor Emeritus now following the Dharma in Minas Gerais, Brasil.
Think of a TV screen that does not share the destiny of the characters in the program. The images and the screen are not actually separate, yet the images cannot change or contaminate the screen. In the same way, no matter how frightening or dangerous the “program” of your life may appear, the awareness in which it all unfolds remains untouched and free.
No effort by any character can make the screen appear, because it has always already been there. Likewise, no amount of sin or wrongdoing by the character can make the screen disappear. You are the ever-present, immaculate screen, not the personality in the show called “life.”
In an excerpt from his book When Things Don’t Go Your Way: Zen Wisdom for Difficult Times, Haemin Sunim offers advice on finding the right path for yourself, not someone else.
In his book Silent Illumination: A Chan Buddhist Path to Natural Awakening, Chan teacher Guo Gu explains that we are all buddhas, and we are all already free.
“The predicament is that once you awaken you cannot go back to sleep. You will try with all of your ingenuity, I absolutely assure you… because what lies before you is the fire - and burn, baby, burn.”
If we can keep walking the middle path with equanimity—neither attached nor averse to the oscillating conditions that arise and cease—the fabric of our lives, held together by stitches of right action, can be free from unnecessary suffering.
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Malicious speech is unhealthy. Refraining from malicious speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning malicious speech, one refrains from malicious speech. One does not repeat there what one has heard here to the detriment of these, or repeat here what he has heard there to the detriment of those. One unites those who are divided, is a promoter of friendships, and speaks words that promote concord. (DN 1) One practices thus: "Others may speak maliciously, but I shall abstain from malicious speech." (MN 8)
When others address you, their speech may be gentle or harsh … One is to train thus: "My mind will be unaffected, and I shall utter no bad words; I shall abide with compassion for their welfare, with a mind of lovingkindness, without inner hate." (MN 21)
Reflection
Our natural tendency is to soften to gentle words and retaliate against harsh speech. But the former can allow us to be exploited by the flatterer, and the latter allows the worst in others to bring out the worst in us. Equanimity in the face of harsh speech is not indifference or detachment; it is simply being aware without reactivity. It is not allowing our minds to be thrown off by what others say to us.
Daily Practice
This is a challenging practice but a helpful one. It encourages us to maintain a balanced state of mind in the face of any kind of speech. It may be easier to practice this at first with overhearing things in the media or the conversations of others, working up to being able to wish for the welfare of even those who speak harshly directly to you. It is not as hard as it sounds once you learn not to take everything others say personally.
Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Verbal Action One week from today: Refraining from Harsh Speech
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