RIGHT SPEECH
Refraining from Harsh Speech
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Harsh speech is unhealthy.
Refraining from harsh speech is healthy. (MN 9) Abandoning harsh speech,
one refrains from harsh speech. One speaks words that are gentle,
pleasing to the ear, and affectionate, words that go to the heart, are
courteous, and are agreeable to many. (DN 1) One practices thus: "Others
may speak harshly, but I shall abstain from harsh speech." (MN 8)
When one says, "All those engaged in the pursuit of self-mortification
have entered upon the wrong way," one thus disparages some. But when one
says instead, "The pursuit of self-mortification is a state beset by
suffering, and it is the wrong way," then one is not disparaging anyone
but is simply stating the truth. (MN 139)
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Certain words
or phrases that appear harsh are simply part of the natural vocabulary
of different social groups, and are not necessarily spoken harshly. But
notice how certain ways of speaking are accompanied by a harsher mental
state. Certain words bring with them a particular emotional tone, and
this draws our mind into harsher places than necessary. Learning to see
and avoid this can be helpful.
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In the example
given in this passage, notice the difference between criticizing a
person and criticizing the person’s behavior. When you disparage
someone, you invite a defensive measure such as a counterattack; when
you disparage their actions, you give the person room to distance
themselves from their behavior. Try this for yourself. See if you can
develop the habit of criticizing actions instead of people. It is not as
harsh.
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Tomorrow: Reflecting upon Mental Action
One week from today: Refraining from Frivolous Speech
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